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\title{ANDROCLES AND THE LION\\
{\normalsize A FABLE PLAY}}


\author{George Bernard Shaw}

\maketitle
\vspace*{\stretch{1}}

\noindent This public-domain (U.S.) text was produced by Eve Sobol,
South Bend, Indiana, USA. The preface to the play and the play itself,
which had been separated into two Project Gutenberg editions (designated
{}``ndrcp10'' and {}``ndrcl10'', respectively), have been rejoined
into a single text. The text was then converted to \LaTeX{} using
\textbf{GutenMark} software, and re-edited (formatting only) by Ron
Burkey. Report problems to info@sandroid.org. Revision B1 differs
from B in that {}``----'' was everywhere replaced by {}``---''.

\noindent \begin{center}Revision: B1\\
Date: 02/02/2008\end{center}

\vspace{\stretch{1}}

\frontmatter


\pagestyle{myheadings} {\scriptsize \tableofcontents{}}\newpage


\mainmatter



\chapter*{\raggedright PREFACE ON THE PROSPECTS OF CHRISTIANITY}

\addcontentsline{toc}{chapter}{PREFACE ON THE PROSPECTS OF CHRISTIANITY}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}


\section*{\raggedright WHY NOT GIVE CHRISTIANITY A TRIAL?}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{WHY NOT GIVE CHRISTIANITY A TRIAL?}

The question seems a hopeless one after 2000 years of resolute adherence
to the old cry of {}``Not this man, but Barabbas.'' Yet it is beginning
to look as if Barabbas was a failure, in spite of his strong right
hand, his victories, his empires, his millions of money, and his moralities
and churches and political constitutions. {}``This man'' has not
been a failure yet; for nobody has ever been sane enough to try his
way. But he has had one quaint triumph. Barabbas has stolen his name
and taken his cross as a standard. There is a sort of compliment in
that. There is even a sort of loyalty in it, like that of the brigand
who breaks every law and yet claims to be a patriotic subject of the
king who makes them. We have always had a curious feeling that though
we crucified Christ on a stick, he somehow managed to get hold of
the right end of it, and that if we were better men we might try his
plan. There have been one or two grotesque attempts at it by inadequate
people, such as the Kingdom of God in Munster, which was ended by
crucifixion so much more atrocious than the one on Calvary that the
bishop who took the part of Annas went home and died of horror. But
responsible people have never made such attempts. The moneyed, respectable,
capable world has been steadily anti-Christian and Barabbasque since
the crucifixion; and the specific doctrine of Jesus has not in all
that time been put into political or general social practice. I am
no more a Christian than Pilate was, or you, gentle reader; and yet,
like Pilate, I greatly prefer Jesus to Annas and Caiaphas; and I am
ready to admit that after contemplating the world and human nature
for nearly sixty years, I see no way out of the world's misery but
the way which would have been found by Christ's will if he had undertaken
the work of a modern practical statesman. Pray do not at this early
point lose patience with me and shut the book. I assure you I am as
sceptical and scientific and modern a thinker as you will find anywhere.
I grant you I know a great deal more about economics and politics
than Jesus did, and can do things he could not do. I am by all Barabbasque
standards a person of much better character and standing, and greater
practical sense. I have no sympathy with vagabonds and talkers who
try to reform society by taking men away from their regular productive
work and making vagabonds and talkers of them too; and if I had been
Pilate I should have recognized as plainly as he the necessity for
suppressing attacks on the existing social order, however corrupt
that order might be, by people with no knowledge of government and
no power to construct political machinery to carry out their views,
acting on the very dangerous delusion that the end of the world was
at hand. I make no defence of such Christians as Savonarola and John
of Leyden: they were scuttling the ship before they had learned how
to build a raft; and it became necessary to throw them overboard to
save the crew. I say this to set myself right with respectable society;
but I must still insist that if Jesus could have worked out the practical
problems of a Communist constitution, an admitted obligation to deal
with crime without revenge or punishment, and a full assumption by
humanity of divine responsibilities, he would have conferred an incalculable
benefit on mankind, because these distinctive demands of his are now
turning out to be good sense and sound economics.

I say distinctive, because his common humanity and his subjection
to time and space (that is, to the Syrian life of his period) involved
his belief in many things, true and false, that in no way distinguish
him from other Syrians of that time. But such common beliefs do not
constitute specific Christianity any more than wearing a beard, working
in a carpenter's shop, or believing that the earth is flat and that
the stars could drop on it from heaven like hailstones. Christianity
interests practical statesmen now because of the doctrines that distinguished
Christ from the Jews and the Barabbasques generally, including ourselves.


\section*{\raggedright WHY JESUS MORE THAN ANOTHER?}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{WHY JESUS MORE THAN ANOTHER?}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

I do not imply, however, that these doctrines were peculiar to Christ.
A doctrine peculiar to one man would be only a craze, unless its comprehension
depended on a development of human faculty so rare that only one exceptionally
gifted man possessed it. But even in this case it would be useless,
because incapable of spreading. Christianity is a step in moral evolution
which is independent of any individual preacher. If Jesus had never
existed (and that he ever existed in any other sense than that in
which Shakespear's Hamlet existed has been vigorously questioned)
Tolstoy would have thought and taught and quarrelled with the Greek
Church all the same. Their creed has been fragmentarily practised
to a considerable extent in spite of the fact that the laws of all
countries treat it, in effect, as criminal. Many of its advocates
have been militant atheists. But for some reason the imagination of
white mankind has picked out Jesus of Nazareth as \emph{the} Christ,
and attributed all the Christian doctrines to him; and as it is the
doctrine and not the man that matters, and, as, besides, one symbol
is as good as another provided everyone attaches the same meaning
to it, I raise, for the moment, no question as to how far the gospels
are original, and how far they consist of Greek and Chinese interpolations.
The record that Jesus said certain things is not invalidated by a
demonstration that Confucius said them before him. Those who claim
a literal divine paternity for him cannot be silenced by the discovery
that the same claim was made for Alexander and Augustus. And I am
not just now concerned with the credibility of the gospels as records
of fact; for I am not acting as a detective, but turning our modern
lights on to certain ideas and doctrines in them which disentangle
themselves from the rest because they are flatly contrary to common
practice, common sense, and common belief, and yet have, in the teeth
of dogged incredulity and recalcitrance, produced an irresistible
impression that Christ, though rejected by his posterity as an unpractical
dreamer, and executed by his contemporaries as a dangerous anarchist
and blasphemous madman, was greater than his judges.


\section*{\raggedright WAS JESUS A COWARD?}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{WAS JESUS A COWARD?}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

I know quite well that this impression of superiority is not produced
on everyone, even of those who profess extreme susceptibility to it.
Setting aside the huge mass of inculcated Christ-worship which has
no real significance because it has no intelligence, there is, among
people who are really free to think for themselves on the subject,
a great deal of hearty dislike of Jesus and of contempt for his failure
to save himself and overcome his enemies by personal bravery and cunning
as Mahomet did. I have heard this feeling expressed far more impatiently
by persons brought up in England as Christians than by Mahometans,
who are, like their prophet, very civil to Jesus, and allow him a
place in their esteem and veneration at least as high as we accord
to John the Baptist. But this British bulldog contempt is founded
on a complete misconception of his reasons for submitting voluntarily
to an ordeal of torment and death. The modern Secularist is often
so determined to regard Jesus as a man like himself and nothing more,
that he slips unconsciously into the error of assuming that Jesus
shared that view. But it is quite clear from the New Testament writers
(the chief authorities for believing that Jesus ever existed) that
Jesus at the time of his death believed himself to be the Christ,
a divine personage. It is therefore absurd to criticize his conduct
before Pilate as if he were Colonel Roosevelt or Admiral von Tirpitz
or even Mahomet. Whether you accept his belief in his divinity as
fully as Simon Peter did, or reject it as a delusion which led him
to submit to torture and sacrifice his life without resistance in
the conviction that he would presently rise again in glory, you are
equally bound to admit that, far from behaving like a coward or a
sheep, he showed considerable physical fortitude in going through
a cruel ordeal against which he could have defended himself as effectually
as he cleared the moneychangers out of the temple. {}``Gentle Jesus,
meek and mild'' is a snivelling modern invention, with no warrant
in the gospels. St.\ Matthew would as soon have thought of applying
such adjectives to Judas Maccabeus as to Jesus; and even St.\ Luke,
who makes Jesus polite and gracious, does not make him meek. The picture
of him as an English curate of the farcical comedy type, too meek
to fight a policeman, and everybody's butt, may be useful in the nursery
to soften children; but that such a figure could ever have become
a centre of the world's attention is too absurd for discussion; grown
men and women may speak kindly of a harmless creature who utters amiable
sentiments and is a helpless nincompoop when he is called on to defend
them; but they will not follow him, nor do what he tells them, because
they do not wish to share his defeat and disgrace.


\section*{\raggedright WAS JESUS A MARTYR?}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{WAS JESUS A MARTYR?}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

It is important therefore that we should clear our minds of the notion
that Jesus died, as some are in the habit of declaring, for his social
and political opinions. There have been many martyrs to those opinions;
but he was not one of them, nor, as his words show, did he see any
more sense in martyrdom than Galileo did. He was executed by the Jews
for the blasphemy of claiming to be a God; and Pilate, to whom this
was a mere piece of superstitious nonsense, let them execute him as
the cheapest way of keeping them quiet, on the formal plea that he
had committed treason against Rome by saying that he was the King
of the Jews. He was not falsely accused, nor denied full opportunities
of defending himself. The proceedings were quite straightforward and
regular; and Pilate, to whom the appeal lay, favored him and despised
his judges, and was evidently willing enough to be conciliated. But
instead of denying the charge, Jesus repeated the offence. He knew
what he was doing: he had alienated numbers of his own disciples and
been stoned in the streets for doing it before. He was not lying:
he believed literally what he said. The horror of the High Priest
was perfectly natural: he was a Primate confronted with a heterodox
street preacher uttering what seemed to him an appalling and impudent
blasphemy. The fact that the blasphemy was to Jesus a simple statement
of fact, and that it has since been accepted as such by all western
nations, does not invalidate the proceedings, nor give us the right
to regard Annas and Caiaphas as worse men than the Archbishop of Canterbury
and the Head Master of Eton. If Jesus had been indicted in a modern
court, he would have been examined by two doctors; found to be obsessed
by a delusion; declared incapable of pleading; and sent to an asylum:
that is the whole difference. But please note that when a man is charged
before a modern tribunal (to take a case that happened the other day)
of having asserted and maintained that he was an officer returned
from the front to receive the Victoria Cross at the hands of the King,
although he was in fact a mechanic, nobody thinks of treating him
as afflicted with a delusion. He is punished for false pretences,
because his assertion is credible and therefore misleading. Just so,
the claim to divinity made by Jesus was to the High Priest, who looked
forward to the coming of a Messiah, one that might conceivably have
been true, and might therefore have misled the people in a very dangerous
way. That was why he treated Jesus as an imposter and a blasphemer
where we should have treated him as a madman.


\section*{\raggedright THE GOSPELS WITHOUT PREJUDICE.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE GOSPELS WITHOUT PREJUDICE}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

All this will become clear if we read the gospels without prejudice.
When I was young it was impossible to read them without fantastic
confusion of thought. The confusion was so utterly confounded that
it was called the proper spirit to read the Bible in. Jesus was a
baby; and he was older than creation. He was a man who could be persecuted,
stoned, scourged, and killed; and he was a god, immortal and all-powerful,
able to raise the dead and call millions of angels to his aid. It
was a sin to doubt either view of him: that is, it was a sin to reason
about him; and the end was that you did not reason about him, and
read about him only when you were compelled. When you heard the gospel
stories read in church, or learnt them from painters and poets, you
came out with an impression of their contents that would have astonished
a Chinaman who had read the story without prepossession. Even sceptics
who were specially on their guard, put the Bible in the dock, and
read the gospels with the object of detecting discrepancies in the
four narratives to show that the writers were as subject to error
as the writers of yesterday's newspaper.

All this has changed greatly within two generations. Today the Bible
is so little read that the language of the Authorized Version is rapidly
becoming obsolete; so that even in the United States, where the old
tradition of the verbal infallibility of {}``the book of books''
lingers more strongly than anywhere else except perhaps in Ulster,
retranslations into modern English have been introduced perforce to
save its bare intelligibility. It is quite easy today to find cultivated
persons who have never read the New Testament, and on whom therefore
it is possible to try the experiment of asking them to read the gospels
and state what they have gathered as to the history and views and
character of Christ.


\section*{\raggedright THE GOSPELS NOW UNINTELLIGIBLE TO NOVICES.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE GOSPELS NOW UNINTELLIGIBLE TO
NOVICES}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

But it will not do to read the gospels with a mind furnished only
for the reception of, say, a biography of Goethe. You will not make
sense of them, nor even be able without impatient weariness to persevere
in the task of going steadily through them, unless you know something
of the history of the human imagination as applied to religion. Not
long ago I asked a writer of distinguished intellectual competence
whether he had made a study of the gospels since his childhood. His
reply was that he had lately tried, but {}``found it all such nonsense
that I could not stick it.'' As I do not want to send anyone to the
gospels with this result, I had better here give a brief exposition
of how much of the history of religion is needed to make the gospels
and the conduct and ultimate fate of Jesus intelligible and interesting.


\section*{\raggedright WORLDLINESS OF THE MAJORITY.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{WORLDLINESS OF THE MAJORITY}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

The first common mistake to get rid of is that mankind consists of
a great mass of religious people and a few eccentric atheists. It
consists of a huge mass of worldly people, and a small percentage
of persons deeply interested in religion and concerned about their
own souls and other peoples'; and this section consists mostly of
those who are passionately affirming the established religion and
those who are passionately attacking it, the genuine philosophers
being very few. Thus you never have a nation of millions of Wesleys
and one Tom Paine. You have a million Mr.\ Worldly Wisemans, one
Wesley, with his small congregation, and one Tom Paine, with his smaller
congregation. The passionately religious are a people apart; and if
they were not hopelessly outnumbered by the worldly, they would turn
the world upside down, as St.\ Paul was reproached, quite justly,
for wanting to do. Few people can number among their personal acquaintances
a single atheist or a single Plymouth Brother. Unless a religious
turn in ourselves has led us to seek the little Societies to which
these rare birds belong, we pass our lives among people who, whatever
creeds they may repeat, and in whatever temples they may avouch their
respectability and wear their Sunday clothes, have robust consciences,
and hunger and thirst, not for righteousness, but for rich feeding
and comfort and social position and attractive mates and ease and
pleasure and respect and consideration: in short, for love and money.
To these people one morality is as good as another provided they are
used to it and can put up with its restrictions without unhappiness;
and in the maintenance of this morality they will fight and punish
and coerce without scruple. They may not be the salt of the earth,
these Philistines; but they are the substance of civilization; and
they save society from ruin by criminals and conquerors as well as
by Savonarolas and Knipperdollings. And as they know, very sensibly,
that a little religion is good for children and serves morality, keeping
the poor in good humor or in awe by promising rewards in heaven or
threatening torments in hell, they encourage the religious people
up to a certain point: for instance, if Savonarola only tells the
ladies of Florence that they ought to tear off their jewels and finery
and sacrifice them to God, they offer him a cardinal's hat, and praise
him as a saint; but if he induces them to actually do it, they burn
him as a public nuisance.


\section*{\raggedright RELIGION OF THE MINORITY. SALVATIONISM.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{RELIGION OF THE MINORITY. SALVATIONISM}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

The religion of the tolerated religious minority has always been essentially
the same religion: that is why its changes of name and form have made
so little difference. That is why, also, a nation so civilized as
the English can convert negroes to their faith with great ease, but
cannot convert Mahometans or Jews. The negro finds in civilized Salvationism
an unspeakably more comforting version of his crude creed; but neither
Saracen nor Jew sees any advantage in it over his own version. The
Crusader was surprised to find the Saracen quite as religious and
moral as himself, and rather more than less civilized. The Latin Christian
has nothing to offer the Greek Christian that Greek Christianity has
not already provided. They are all, at root, Salvationists.

Let us trace this religion of Salvation from its beginnings. So many
things that man does not himself contrive or desire are always happening:
death, plagues, tempests, blights, floods, sunrise and sunset, growths
and harvests and decay, and Kant's two wonders of the starry heavens
above us and the moral law within us, that we conclude that somebody
must be doing it all, or that somebody is doing the good and somebody
else doing the evil, or that armies of invisible persons, beneficent
and malevolent, are doing it; hence you postulate gods and devils,
angels and demons. You propitiate these powers with presents, called
sacrifices, and flatteries, called praises. Then the Kantian moral
law within you makes you conceive your god as a judge; and straightway
you try to corrupt him, also with presents and flatteries. This seems
shocking to us; but our objection to it is quite a recent development:
no longer ago than Shakespear's time it was thought quite natural
that litigants should give presents to human judges; and the buying
off of divine wrath by actual money payments to priests, or, in the
reformed churches which discountenance this, by subscriptions to charities
and church building and the like, is still in full swing. Its practical
disadvantage is that though it makes matters very easy for the rich,
it cuts off the poor from all hope of divine favor. And this quickens
the moral criticism of the poor to such an extent, that they soon
find the moral law within them revolting against the idea of buying
off the deity with gold and gifts, though they are still quite ready
to buy him off with the paper money of praise and professions of repentance.
Accordingly, you will find that though a religion may last unchanged
for many centuries in primitive communities where the conditions of
life leave no room for poverty and riches, and the process of propitiating
the supernatural powers is as well within the means of the least of
the members as within those of the headman, yet when commercial civilization
arrives, and capitalism divides the people into a few rich and a great
many so poor that they can barely live, a movement for religious reform
will arise among the poor, and will be essentially a movement for
cheap or entirely gratuitous salvation. To understand what the poor
mean by propitiation, we must examine for a moment what they mean
by justice.


\section*{\raggedright THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ATONEMENT AND PUNISHMENT}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN\\
ATONEMENT AND PUNISHMENT}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

The primitive idea of justice is partly legalized revenge and partly
expiation by sacrifice. It works out from both sides in the notion
that two blacks make a white, and that when a wrong has been done,
it should be paid for by an equivalent suffering. It seems to the
Philistine majority a matter of course that this compensating suffering
should be inflicted on the wrongdoer for the sake of its deterrent
effect on other would-be wrongdoers; but a moment's reflection will
show that this utilitarian application corrupts the whole transaction.
For example, the shedding of innocent blood cannot be balanced by
the shedding of guilty blood. Sacrificing a criminal to propitiate
God for the murder of one of his righteous servants is like sacrificing
a mangy sheep or an ox with the rinderpest: it calls down divine wrath
instead of appeasing it. In doing it we offer God as a sacrifice the
gratification of our own revenge and the protection of our own lives
without cost to ourselves; and cost to ourselves is the essence of
sacrifice and expiation. However much the Philistines have succeeded
in confusing these things in practice, they are to the Salvationist
sense distinct and even contrary. The Baronet's cousin in Dickens's
novel, who, perplexed by the failure of the police to discover the
murderer of the baronet's solicitor, said {}``Far better hang wrong
fellow than no fellow,'' was not only expressing a very common sentiment,
but trembling on the brink of the rarer Salvationist opinion that
it is much better to hang the wrong fellow: that, in fact, the wrong
fellow is the right fellow to hang.

The point is a cardinal one, because until we grasp it not only does
historical Christianity remain unintelligible to us, but those who
do not care a rap about historical Christianity may be led into the
mistake of supposing that if we discard revenge, and treat murderers
exactly as God treated Cain: that is, exempt them from punishment
by putting a brand on them as unworthy to be sacrificed, and let them
face the world as best they can with that brand on them, we should
get rid both of punishment and sacrifice. It would not at all follow:
on the contrary, the feeling that there must be an expiation of the
murder might quite possibly lead to our putting some innocent person\mbox{---}the
more innocent the better\mbox{---}to a cruel death to balance the
account with divine justice.


\section*{\raggedright SALVATION AT FIRST A CLASS PRIVILEGE; AND THE REMEDY}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{SALVATION AT FIRST A CLASS \\
PRIVILEGE; AND THE REMEDY}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Thus, even when the poor decide that the method of purchasing salvation
by offering rams and goats or bringing gold to the altar must be wrong
because they cannot afford it, we still do not feel {}``saved''
without a sacrifice and a victim. In vain do we try to substitute
mystical rites that cost nothing, such as circumcision, or, as a substitute
for that, baptism. Our sense of justice still demands an expiation,
a sacrifice, a sufferer for our sins. And this leaves the poor man
still in his old difficulty; for if it was impossible for him to procure
rams and goats and shekels, how much more impossible is it for him
to find a neighbor who will voluntarily suffer for his sins: one who
will say cheerfully {}``You have committed a murder. Well, never
mind: I am willing to be hanged for it in your stead?''

Our imagination must come to our rescue. Why not, instead of driving
ourselves to despair by insisting on a separate atonement by a separate
redeemer for every sin, have one great atonement and one great redeemer
to compound for the sins of the world once for all? Nothing easier,
nothing cheaper. The yoke is easy, the burden light. All you have
to do when the redeemer is once found (or invented by the imagination)
is to believe in the efficacy of the transaction, and you are saved.
The rams and goats cease to bleed; the altars which ask for expensive
gifts and continually renewed sacrifices are torn down; and the Church
of the single redeemer and the single atonement rises on the ruins
of the old temples, and becomes a single Church of the Christ.


\section*{\raggedright RETROSPECTIVE ATONEMENT, AND THE EXPECTATION OF THE
REDEEMER}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{RETROSPECTIVE ATONEMENT, AND\\
THE EXPECTATION OF THE REDEEMER}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

But this does not happen at once. Between the old costly religion
of the rich and the new gratuitous religion of the poor there comes
an interregnum in which the redeemer, though conceived by the human
imagination, is not yet found. He is awaited and expected under the
names of the Christ, the Messiah, Baldur the Beautiful, or what not;
but he has not yet come. Yet the sinners are not therefore in despair.
It is true that they cannot say, as we say, {}``The Christ has come,
and has redeemed us;'' but they can say {}``The Christ will come,
and will redeem us,'' which, as the atonement is conceived as retrospective,
is equally consoling. There are periods when nations are seething
with this expectation and crying aloud with prophecy of the Redeemer
through their poets. To feel that atmosphere we have only to take
up the Bible and read Isaiah at one end of such a period and Luke
and John at the other.


\section*{\raggedright COMPLETION OF THE SCHEME BY LUTHER AND CALVIN}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{COMPLETION OF THE SCHEME \\
BY LUTHER AND CALVIN}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

We now see our religion as a quaint but quite intelligible evolution
from crude attempts to propitiate the destructive forces of Nature
among savages to a subtle theology with a costly ritual of sacrifice
possible only to the rich as a luxury, and finally to the religion
of Luther and Calvin. And it must be said for the earlier forms that
they involved very real sacrifices. The sacrifice was not always vicarious,
and is not yet universally so. In India men pay with their own skins,
torturing themselves hideously to attain holiness. In the west, saints
amazed the world with their austerities and self-scourgings and confessions
and vigils. But Luther delivered us from all that. His reformation
was a triumph of imagination and a triumph of cheapness. It brought
you complete salvation and asked you for nothing but faith. Luther
did not know what he was doing in the scientific sociological way
in which we know it; but his instinct served him better than knowledge
could have done; for it was instinct rather than theological casuistry
that made him hold so resolutely to Justification by Faith as the
trump card by which he should beat the Pope, or, as he would have
put it, the sign in which he should conquer. He may be said to have
abolished the charge for admission to heaven. Paul had advocated this;
but Luther and Calvin did it.


\section*{\raggedright JOHN BARLEYCORN}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{JOHN BARLEYCORN}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

There is yet another page in the history of religion which must be
conned and digested before the career of Jesus can be fully understood.\ people
who can read long books will find it in Frazer's \emph{Golden Bough}.
Simpler folk will find it in the peasant's song of John Barleycorn,
now made accessible to our drawingroom amateurs in the admirable collections
of \emph{Somersetshire Folk Songs} by Mr.\ Cecil Sharp. From Frazer's
magnum opus you will learn how the same primitive logic which makes
the Englishman believe today that by eating a beefsteak he can acquire
the strength and courage of the bull, and to hold that belief in the
face of the most ignominious defeats by vegetarian wrestlers and racers
and bicyclists, led the first men who conceived God as capable of
incarnation to believe that they could acquire a spark of his divinity
by eating his flesh and drinking his blood. And from the song of John
Barleycorn you may learn how the miracle of the seed, the growth,
and the harvest, still the most wonderful of all the miracles and
as inexplicable as ever, taught the primitive husbandman, and, as
we must now affirm, taught him quite rightly, that God is in the seed,
and that God is immortal. And thus it became the test of Godhead that
nothing that you could do to it could kill it, and that when you buried
it, it would rise again in renewed life and beauty and give mankind
eternal life on condition that it was eaten and drunk, and again slain
and buried, to rise again for ever and ever. You may, and indeed must,
use John Barleycorn {}``right barbarouslee,'' cutting him {}``off
at knee'' with your scythes, scourging him with your flails, burying
him in the earth; and he will not resist you nor reproach you, but
will rise again in golden beauty amidst a great burst of sunshine
and bird music, and save you and renew your life. And from the interweaving
of these two traditions with the craving for the Redeemer, you at
last get the conviction that when the Redeemer comes he will be immortal;
he will give us his body to eat and his blood to drink; and he will
prove his divinity by suffering a barbarous death without resistance
or reproach, and rise from the dead and return to the earth in glory
as the giver of life eternal.


\section*{\raggedright LOOKING FOR THE END OF THE WORLD}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{LOOKING FOR THE END OF THE WORLD}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Yet another persistent belief has beset the imagination of the religious
ever since religion spread among the poor, or, rather, ever since
commercial civilization produced a hopelessly poor class cut off from
enjoyment in this world. That belief is that the end of this world
is at hand, and that it will presently pass away and be replaced by
a kingdom of happiness, justice, and bliss in which the rich and the
oppressors and the unjust shall have no share. We are all familiar
with this expectation: many of us cherish some pious relative who
sees in every great calamity a sign of the approaching end. Warning
pamphlets are in constant circulation: advertisements are put in the
papers and paid for by those who are convinced, and who are horrified
at the indifference of the irreligious to the approaching doom. And
revivalist preachers, now as in the days of John the Baptist, seldom
fail to warn their flocks to watch and pray, as the great day will
steal upon them like a thief in the night, and cannot be long deferred
in a world so wicked. This belief also associates itself with Barleycorn's
second coming; so that the two events become identified at last.

There is the other and more artificial side of this belief, on which
it is an inculcated dread. The ruler who appeals to the prospect of
heaven to console the poor and keep them from insurrection also curbs
the vicious by threatening them with hell. In the Koran we find Mahomet
driven more and more to this expedient of government; and experience
confirms his evident belief that it is impossible to govern without
it in certain phases of civilization. We shall see later on that it
gives a powerful attraction to the belief in a Redeemer, since it
adds to remorse of conscience, which hardened men bear very lightly,
a definite dread of hideous and eternal torture.


\section*{\raggedright THE HONOR OF DIVINE PARENTAGE}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE HONOR OF DIVINE PARENTAGE}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

One more tradition must be noted. The consummation of praise for a
king is to declare that he is the son of no earthly father, but of
a god. His mother goes into the temple of Apollo, and Apollo comes
to her in the shape of a serpent, or the like. The Roman emperors,
following the example of Augustus, claimed the title of God. Illogically,
such divine kings insist a good deal on their royal human ancestors.
Alexander, claiming to be the son of Apollo, is equally determined
to be the son of Philip. As the gospels stand, St.\ Matthew and St.\ Luke
give genealogies (the two are different) establishing the descent
of Jesus through Joseph from the royal house of David, and yet declare
that not Joseph but the Holy Ghost was the father of Jesus. It is
therefore now held that the story of the Holy Ghost is a later interpolation
borrowed from the Greek and Roman imperial tradition. But experience
shows that simultaneous faith in the descent from David and the conception
by the Holy Ghost is possible. Such double beliefs are entertained
by the human mind without uneasiness or consciousness of the contradiction
involved. Many instances might be given: a familiar one to my generation
being that of the Tichborne claimant, whose attempt to pass himself
off as a baronet was supported by an association of laborers on the
ground that the Tichborne family, in resisting it, were trying to
do a laborer out of his rights. It is quite possible that Matthew
and Luke may have been unconscious of the contradiction: indeed the
interpolation theory does not remove the difficulty, as the interpolators
themselves must have been unconscious of it. A better ground for suspecting
interpolation is that St.\ Paul knew nothing of the divine birth,
and taught that Jesus came into the world at his birth as the son
of Joseph, but rose from the dead after three days as the son of God.
Here again, few notice the discrepancy: the three views are accepted
simultaneously without intellectual discomfort. We can provisionally
entertain half a dozen contradictory versions of an event if we feel
either that it does not greatly matter, or that there is a category
attainable in which the contradictions are reconciled.

But that is not the present point. All that need be noted here is
that the legend of divine birth was sure to be attached sooner or
later to very eminent persons in Roman imperial times, and that modern
theologians, far from discrediting it, have very logically affirmed
the miraculous conception not only of Jesus but of his mother.

With no more scholarly equipment than a knowledge of these habits
of the human imagination, anyone may now read the four gospels without
bewilderment, and without the contemptuous incredulity which spoils
the temper of many modern atheists, or the senseless credulity which
sometimes makes pious people force us to shove them aside in emergencies
as impracticable lunatics when they ask us to meet violence and injustice
with dumb submission in the belief that the strange demeanor of Jesus
before Pilate was meant as an example of normal human conduct. Let
us admit that without the proper clues the gospels are, to a modern
educated person, nonsensical and incredible, whilst the apostles are
unreadable. But with the clues, they are fairly plain sailing. Jesus
becomes an intelligible and consistent person. His reasons for going
{}``like a lamb to the slaughter'' instead of saving himself as
Mahomet did, become quite clear. The narrative becomes as credible
as any other historical narrative of its period.


\section*{\raggedright MATTHEW.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{MATTHEW}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}


\subsection*{\raggedright THE ANNUNCIATION: THE MASSACRE: THE FLIGHT}

Let us begin with the gospel of Matthew, bearing in mind that it does
not profess to be the evidence of an eyewitness. It is a chronicle,
founded, like other chronicles, on such evidence and records as the
chronicler could get hold of. The only one of the evangelists who
professes to give first-hand evidence as an eyewitness naturally takes
care to say so; and the fact that Matthew makes no such pretension,
and writes throughout as a chronicler, makes it clear that he is telling
the story of Jesus as Holinshed told the story of Macbeth, except
that, for a reason to be given later on, he must have collected his
material and completed his book within the lifetime of persons contemporary
with Jesus. Allowance must also be made for the fact that the gospel
is written in the Greek language, whilst the first-hand traditions
and the actual utterances of Jesus must have been in Aramaic, the
dialect of Palestine. These distinctions were important, as you will
find if you read Holinshed or Froissart and then read Benvenuto Cellini.
You do not blame Holinshed or Froissart for believing and repeating
the things they had read or been told, though you cannot always believe
these things yourself. But when Cellini tells you that he saw this
or did that, and you find it impossible to believe him, you lose patience
with him, and are disposed to doubt everything in his autobiography.
Do not forget, then, that Matthew is Holinshed and not Benvenuto.
The very first pages of his narrative will put your attitude to the
test.

Matthew tells us that the mother of Jesus was betrothed to a man of
royal pedigree named Joseph, who was rich enough to live in a house
in Bethlehem to which kings could bring gifts of gold without provoking
any comment. An angel announces to Joseph that Jesus is the son of
the Holy Ghost, and that he must not accuse her of infidelity because
of her bearing a son of which he is not the father; but this episode
disappears from the subsequent narrative: there is no record of its
having been told to Jesus, nor any indication of his having any knowledge
of it. The narrative, in fact, proceeds in all respects as if the
annunciation formed no part of it.

Herod the Tetrarch, believing that a child has been born who will
destroy him, orders all the male children to be slaughtered; and Jesus
escapes by the flight of his parents into Egypt, whence they return
to Nazareth when the danger is over. Here it is necessary to anticipate
a little by saying that none of the other evangelists accept this
story, as none of them except John, who throws over Matthew altogether,
shares his craze for treating history and biography as mere records
of the fulfillment of ancient Jewish prophecies. This craze no doubt
led him to seek for some legend bearing out Hosea's {}``Out of Egypt
have I called my son,'' and Jeremiah's Rachel weeping for her children:
in fact, he says so. Nothing that interests us nowadays turns on the
credibility of the massacre of the innocents and the flight into Egypt.
We may forget them, and proceed to the important part of the narrative,
which skips at once to the manhood of Jesus.


\section*{\raggedright JOHN THE BAPTIST}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{JOHN THE BAPTIST}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

At this moment, a Salvationist prophet named John is stirring the
people very strongly. John has declared that the rite of circumcision
is insufficient as a dedication of the individual to God, and has
substituted the rite of baptism. To us, who are accustomed to baptism
as a matter of course, and to whom circumcision is a rather ridiculous
foreign practice of no consequence, the sensational effect of such
a heresy as this on the Jews is not apparent: it seems to us as natural
that John should have baptized people as that the rector of our village
should do so. But, as St.\ Paul found to his cost later on, the discarding
of circumcision for baptism was to the Jews as startling a heresy
as the discarding of transubstantiation in the Mass was to the Catholics
of the XVI century.


\section*{\raggedright JESUS JOINS THE BAPTISTS}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{JESUS JOINS THE BAPTISTS}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Jesus entered as a man of thirty (Luke says) into the religious life
of his time by going to John the Baptist and demanding baptism from
him, much as certain well-to-do young gentlemen forty years ago {}``joined
the Socialists.'' As far as established Jewry was concerned, he burnt
his boats by this action, and cut himself off from the routine of
wealth, respectability, and orthodoxy. He then began preaching John's
gospel, which, apart from the heresy of baptism, the value of which
lay in its bringing the Gentiles (that is, the uncircumcized) within
the pale of salvation, was a call to the people to repent of their
sins, as the kingdom of heaven was at hand. Luke adds that he also
preached the communism of charity; told the surveyors of taxes not
to over-assess the taxpayers; and advised soldiers to be content with
their wages and not to be violent or lay false accusations. There
is no record of John going beyond this.


\section*{\raggedright THE SAVAGE JOHN AND THE CIVILIZED JESUS}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE SAVAGE JOHN AND THE CIVILIZED
JESUS}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Jesus went beyond it very rapidly, according to Matthew. Though, like
John, he became an itinerant preacher, he departed widely from John's
manner of life. John went into the wilderness, not into the synagogues;
and his baptismal font was the river Jordan. He was an ascetic, clothed
in skins and living on locusts and wild honey, practising a savage
austerity. He courted martyrdom, and met it at the hands of Herod.
Jesus saw no merit either in asceticism or martyrdom. In contrast
to John he was essentially a highly-civilized, cultivated person.
According to Luke, he pointed out the contrast himself, chaffing the
Jews for complaining that John must be possessed by the devil because
he was a teetotaller and vegetarian, whilst, because Jesus was neither
one nor the other, they reviled him as a gluttonous man and a winebibber,
the friend of the officials and their mistresses. He told straitlaced
disciples that they would have trouble enough from other people without
making any for themselves, and that they should avoid martyrdom and
enjoy themselves whilst they had the chance. {}``When they persecute
you in this city,'' he says, {}``flee into the next.'' He preaches
in the synagogues and in the open air indifferently, just as they
come. He repeatedly says, {}``I desire mercy and not sacrifice,''
meaning evidently to clear himself of the inveterate superstition
that suffering is gratifying to God. {}``Be not, as the Pharisees,
of a sad countenance,'' he says. He is convivial, feasting with Roman
officials and sinners. He is careless of his person, and is remonstrated
with for not washing his hands before sitting down to table. The followers
of John the Baptist, who fast, and who expect to find the Christians
greater ascetics than themselves, are disappointed at finding that
Jesus and his twelve friends do not fast; and Jesus tells them that
they should rejoice in him instead of being melancholy. He is jocular
and tells them they will all have as much fasting as they want soon
enough, whether they like it or not. He is not afraid of disease,
and dines with a leper. A woman, apparently to protect him against
infection, pours a costly unguent on his head, and is rebuked because
what it cost might have been given to the poor. He poohpoohs that
lowspirited view, and says, as he said when he was reproached for
not fasting, that the poor are always there to be helped, but that
he is not there to be anointed always, implying that you should never
lose a chance of being happy when there is so much misery in the world.
He breaks the Sabbath; is impatient of conventionality when it is
uncomfortable or obstructive; and outrages the feelings of the Jews
by breaches of it. He is apt to accuse people who feel that way of
hypocrisy. Like the late Samuel Butler, he regards disease as a department
of sin, and on curing a lame man, says {}``Thy sins are forgiven''
instead of {}``Arise and walk,'' subsequently maintaining, when
the Scribes reproach him for assuming power to forgive sin as well
as to cure disease, that the two come to the same thing. He has no
modest affectations, and claims to be greater than Solomon or Jonah.
When reproached, as Bunyan was, for resorting to the art of fiction
when teaching in parables, he justifies himself on the ground that
art is the only way in which the people can be taught. He is, in short,
what we should call an artist and a Bohemian in his manner of life.


\section*{\raggedright JESUS NOT A PROSLETYST}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{JESUS NOT A PROSLETYST}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

A point of considerable practical importance today is that be expressly
repudiates the idea that forms of religion, once rooted, can be weeded
out and replanted with the flowers of a foreign faith. {}``If you
try to root up the tares you will root up the wheat as well.'' Our
proselytizing missionary enterprises are thus flatly contrary to his
advice; and their results appear to bear him out in his view that
if you convert a man brought up in another creed, you inevitably demoralize
him. He acts on this view himself, and does not convert his disciples
from Judaism to Christianity. To this day a Christian would be in
religion a Jew initiated by baptism instead of circumcision, and accepting
Jesus as the Messiah, and his teachings as of higher authority than
those of Moses, but for the action of the Jewish priests, who, to
save Jewry from being submerged in the rising flood of Christianity
after the capture of Jerusalem and the destruction of the Temple,
set up what was practically a new religious order, with new Scriptures
and elaborate new observances, and to their list of the accursed added
one Jeschu, a bastard magician, whose comic rogueries brought him
to a bad end like Punch or Til Eulenspiegel: an invention which cost
them dear when the Christians got the upper hand of them politically.
The Jew as Jesus, himself a Jew, knew him, never dreamt of such things,
and could follow Jesus without ceasing to be a Jew.


\section*{\raggedright THE TEACHINGS OF JESUS.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE TEACHINGS OF JESUS}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

So much for his personal life and temperament. His public career as
a popular preacher carries him equally far beyond John the Baptist.
He lays no stress on baptism or vows, and preaches conduct incessantly.
He advocates communism, the widening of the private family with its
cramping ties into the great family of mankind under the fatherhood
of God, the abandonment of revenge and punishment, the counteracting
of evil by good instead of by a hostile evil, and an organic conception
of society in which you are not an independent individual but a member
of society, your neighbor being another member, and each of you members
one of another, as two fingers on a hand, the obvious conclusion being
that unless you love your neighbor as yourself and he reciprocates
you will both be the worse for it. He conveys all this with extraordinary
charm, and entertains his hearers with fables (parables) to illustrate
them. He has no synagogue or regular congregation, but travels from
place to place with twelve men whom he has called from their work
as he passed, and who have abandoned it to follow him.


\section*{\raggedright THE MIRACLES}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE MIRACLES}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

He has certain abnormal powers by which he can perform miracles. He
is ashamed of these powers, but, being extremely compassionate, cannot
refuse to exercise them when afflicted people beg him to cure them,
when multitudes of people are hungry, and when his disciples are terrified
by storms on the lakes. He asks for no reward, but begs the people
not to mention these powers of his. There are two obvious reasons
for his dislike of being known as a worker of miracles. One is the
natural objection of all men who possess such powers, but have far
more important business in the world than to exhibit them, to be regarded
primarily as charlatans, besides being pestered to give exhibitions
to satisfy curiosity. The other is that his view of the effect of
miracles upon his mission is exactly that taken later on by Rousseau.
He perceives that they will discredit him and divert attention from
his doctrine by raising an entirely irrelevant issue between his disciples
and his opponents.

Possibly my readers may not have studied Rousseau's \emph{Letters
Written From The Mountain}, which may be regarded as the classic work
on miracles as credentials of divine mission. Rousseau shows, as Jesus
foresaw, that the miracles are the main obstacle to the acceptance
of Christianity, because their incredibility (if they were not incredible
they would not be miracles) makes people sceptical as to the whole
narrative, credible enough in the main, in which they occur, and suspicious
of the doctrine with which they are thus associated. {}``Get rid
of the miracles,'' said Rousseau, {}``and the whole world will fall
at the feet of Jesus Christ.'' He points out that miracles offered
as evidence of divinity, and failing to convince, make divinity ridiculous.
He says, in effect, there is nothing in making a lame man walk: thousands
of lame men have been cured and have walked without any miracle. Bring
me a man with only one leg and make another grow instantaneously on
him before my eyes; and I will be really impressed; but mere cures
of ailments that have often been cured before are quite useless as
evidence of anything else than desire to help and power to cure.

Jesus, according to Matthew, agreed so entirely with Rousseau, and
felt the danger so strongly, that when people who were not ill or
in trouble came to him and asked him to exercise his powers as a sign
of his mission, he was irritated beyond measure, and refused with
an indignation which they, not seeing Rousseau's point, must have
thought very unreasonable. To be called {}``an evil and adulterous
generation'' merely for asking a miracle worker to give an exhibition
of his powers, is rather a startling experience. Mahomet, by the way,
also lost his temper when people asked him to perform miracles. But
Mahomet expressly disclaimed any unusual powers; whereas it is clear
from Matthew's story that Jesus (unfortunately for himself, as he
thought) had some powers of healing. It is also obvious that the exercise
of such powers would give rise to wild tales of magical feats which
would expose their hero to condemnation as an impostor among people
whose good opinion was of great consequence to the movement started
by his mission.

But the deepest annoyance arising from the miracles would be the irrelevance
of the issue raised by them. Jesus's teaching has nothing to do with
miracles. If his mission had been simply to demonstrate a new method
of restoring lost eyesight, the miracle of curing the blind would
have been entirely relevant. But to say {}``You should love your
enemies; and to convince you of this I will now proceed to cure this
gentleman of cataract'' would have been, to a man of Jesus's intelligence,
the proposition of an idiot. If it could be proved today that not
one of the miracles of Jesus actually occurred, that proof would not
invalidate a single one of his didactic utterances; and conversely,
if it could be proved that not only did the miracles actually occur,
but that he had wrought a thousand other miracles a thousand times
more wonderful, not a jot of weight would be added to his doctrine.
And yet the intellectual energy of sceptics and divines has been wasted
for generations in arguing about the miracles on the assumption that
Christianity is at stake in the controversy as to whether the stories
of Matthew are false or true. According to Matthew himself, Jesus
must have known this only too well; for wherever he went he was assailed
with a clamor for miracles, though his doctrine created bewilderment.

So much for the miracles! Matthew tells us further, that Jesus declared
that his doctrines would be attacked by Church and State, and that
the common multitude were the salt of the earth and the light of the
world. His disciples, in their relations with the political and ecclesiastical
organizations, would be as sheep among wolves.


\section*{\raggedright MATTHEW IMPUTES DIGNITY TO JESUS.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{MATTHEW IMPUTES DIGNITY TO JESUS}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Matthew, like most biographers, strives to identify the opinions and
prejudices of his hero with his own. Although he describes Jesus as
tolerant even to carelessness, he draws the line at the Gentile, and
represents Jesus as a bigoted Jew who regards his mission as addressed
exclusively to {}``the lost sheep of the house of Israel.'' When
a woman of Canaan begged Jesus to cure her daughter, he first refused
to speak to her, and then told her brutally that {}``It is not meet
to take the children's bread and cast it to the dogs.'' But when
the woman said, {}``Truth, Lord; yet the dogs eat of the crumbs which
fall from their master's table,'' she melted the Jew out of him and
made Christ a Christian. To the woman whom he had just called a dog
he said, {}``O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as
thou wilt.'' This is somehow one of the most touching stories in
the gospel; perhaps because the woman rebukes the prophet by a touch
of his own finest quality. It is certainly out of character; but as
the sins of good men are always out of character, it is not safe to
reject the story as invented in the interest of Matthew's determination
that Jesus shall have nothing to do with the Gentiles. At all events,
there the story is; and it is by no means the only instance in which
Matthew reports Jesus, in spite of the charm of his preaching, as
extremely uncivil in private intercourse.


\section*{\raggedright THE GREAT CHANGE.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE GREAT CHANGE}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

So far the history is that of a man sane and interesting apart from
his special gifts as orator, healer, and prophet. But a startling
change occurs. One day, after the disciples have discouraged him for
a long time by their misunderstandings of his mission, and their speculations
as to whether he is one of the old prophets come again, and if so,
which, his disciple Peter suddenly solves the problem by exclaiming,
{}``Thou are the Christ, the son of the living God.'' At this Jesus
is extraordinarily pleased and excited. He declares that Peter has
had a revelation straight from God. He makes a pun on Peter's name,
and declares him the founder of his Church. And he accepts his destiny
as a god by announcing that he will be killed when he goes to Jerusalem;
for if he is really the Christ, it is a necessary part of his legendary
destiny that he shall be slain. Peter, not understanding this, rebukes
him for what seems mere craven melancholy; and Jesus turns fiercely
on him and cries, {}``Get thee behind me, Satan.''

Jesus now becomes obsessed with a conviction of his divinity, and
talks about it continually to his disciples, though he forbids them
to mention it to others. They begin to dispute among themselves as
to the position they shall occupy in heaven when his kingdom is established.
He rebukes them strenuously for this, and repeats his teaching that
greatness means service and not domination; but he himself, always
instinctively somewhat haughty, now becomes arrogant, dictatorial,
and even abusive, never replying to his critics without an insulting
epithet, and even cursing a fig-tree which disappoints him when he
goes to it for fruit. He assumes all the traditions of the folk-lore
gods, and announces that, like John Barleycorn, he will be barbarously
slain and buried, but will rise from the earth and return to life.
He attaches to himself the immemorial tribal ceremony of eating the
god, by blessing bread and wine and handing them to his disciples
with the words {}``This is my body: this is my blood.'' He forgets
his own teaching and threatens eternal fire and eternal punishment.
He announces, in addition to his Barleycorn resurrection, that he
will come to the world a second time in glory and establish his kingdom
on earth. He fears that this may lead to the appearance of impostors
claiming to be himself, and declares explicitly and repeatedly that
no matter what wonders these impostors may perform, his own coming
will be unmistakable, as the stars will fall from heaven, and trumpets
be blown by angels. Further he declares that this will take place
during the lifetime of persons then present,


\section*{\raggedright JERUSALEM AND THE MYSTICAL SACRIFICE.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{JERUSALEM AND THE MYSTICAL SACRIFICE}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

In this new frame of mind he at last enters Jerusalem amid great popular
curiosity; drives the moneychangers and sacrifice sellers out of the
temple in a riot; refuses to interest himself in the beauties and
wonders of the temple building on the ground that presently not a
stone of it shall be left on another; reviles the high priests and
elders in intolerable terms; and is arrested by night in a garden
to avoid a popular disturbance. He makes no resistance, being persuaded
that it is part of his destiny as a god to be murdered and to rise
again. One of his followers shows fight, and cuts off the ear of one
of his captors. Jesus rebukes him, but does not attempt to heal the
wound, though he declares that if he wished to resist he could easily
summon twelve million angels to his aid. He is taken before the high
priest and by him handed over to the Roman governor, who is puzzled
by his silent refusal to defend himself in any way, or to contradict
his accusers or their witnesses, Pilate having naturally no idea that
the prisoner conceives himself as going through an inevitable process
of torment, death, and burial as a prelude to resurrection. Before
the high priest he has also been silent except that when the priest
asks him is he the Christ, the Son of God, he replies that they shall
all see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of power, and coming
on the clouds of heaven. He maintains this attitude with frightful
fortitude whilst they scourge him, mock him, torment him, and finally
crucify him between two thieves. His prolonged agony of thirst and
pain on the cross at last breaks his spirit, and he dies with a cry
of {}``My God: why hast Thou forsaken me?''


\section*{\raggedright NOT THIS MAN BUT BARRABAS}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{NOT THIS MAN BUT BARRABAS}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Meanwhile he has been definitely rejected by the people as well as
by the priests. Pilate, pitying him, and unable to make out exactly
what he has done (the blasphemy that has horrified the high priest
does not move the Roman) tries to get him off by reminding the people
that they have, by custom, the right to have a prisoner released at
that time, and suggests that he should release Jesus. But they insist
on his releasing a prisoner named Barabbas instead, and on having
Jesus crucified. Matthew gives no clue to the popularity of Barabbas,
describing him simply as {}``a notable prisoner.'' The later gospels
make it clear, very significantly, that his offence was sedition and
insurrection; that he was an advocate of physical force; and that
he had killed his man. The choice of Barabbas thus appears as a popular
choice of the militant advocate of physical force as against the unresisting
advocate of mercy.


\section*{\raggedright THE RESURRECTION.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE RESURRECTION}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Matthew then tells how after three days an angel opened the family
vault of one Joseph, a rich man of Arimathea, who had buried Jesus
in it, whereupon Jesus rose and returned from Jerusalem to Galilee
and resumed his preaching with his disciples, assuring them that he
would now be with them to the end of the world. At that point the
narrative abruptly stops. The story has no ending.


\section*{\raggedright DATE OF MATTHEW'S NARRATIVE.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{DATE OF MATTHEWS NARRATIVE}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

One effect of the promise of Jesus to come again in glory during the
lifetime of some of his hearers is to date the gospel without the
aid of any scholarship. It must have been written during the lifetime
of Jesus's contemporaries: that is, whilst it was still possible for
the promise of his Second Coming to be fulfilled. The death of the
last person who had been alive when Jesus said {}``There be some
of them that stand here that shall in no wise taste death till they
see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom'' destroyed the last possibility
of the promised Second Coming, and bore out the incredulity of Pilate
and the Jews. And as Matthew writes as one believing in that Second
Coming, and in fact left his story unfinished to be ended by it, he
must have produced his gospel within a lifetime of the crucifixion.
Also, he must have believed that reading books would be one of the
pleasures of the kingdom of heaven on earth.


\section*{\raggedright CLASS TYPE OF MATTHEW'S JESUS}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{CLASS TYPE OF MATTHEWS JESUS}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

One more circumstance must be noted as gathered from Matthew. Though
he begins his story in such a way as to suggest that Jesus belonged
to the privileged classes, he mentions later on that when Jesus attempted
to preach in his own country, and had no success there, the people
said, {}``Is not this the carpenter's son?'' But Jesus's manner
throughout is that of an aristocrat, or at the very least the son
of a rich bourgeois, and by no means a lowly-minded one at that. We
must be careful therefore to conceive Joseph, not as a modern proletarian
carpenter working for weekly wages, but as a master craftsman of royal
descent. John the Baptist may have been a Keir Hardie; but the Jesus
of Matthew is of the Ruskin-Morris class.

This haughty characterization is so marked that if we had no other
documents concerning Jesus than the gospel of Matthew, we should not
feel as we do about him. We should have been much less loth to say,
{}``There is a man here who was sane until Peter hailed him as the
Christ, and who then became a monomaniac.'' We should have pointed
out that his delusion is a very common delusion among the insane,
and that such insanity is quite consistent with the retention of the
argumentative cunning and penetration which Jesus displayed in Jerusalem
after his delusion had taken complete hold of him. We should feel
horrified at the scourging and mocking and crucifixion just as we
should if Ruskin had been treated in that way when he also went mad,
instead of being cared for as an invalid. And we should have had no
clear perception of any special significance in his way of calling
the Son of God the Son of Man. We should have noticed that he was
a Communist; that he regarded much of what we call law and order as
machinery for robbing the poor under legal forms; that he thought
domestic ties a snare for the soul; that he agreed with the proverb
{}``The nearer the Church, the farther from God;'' that he saw very
plainly that the masters of the community should be its servants and
not its oppressors and parasites; and that though he did not tell
us not to fight our enemies, he did tell us to love them, and warned
us that they who draw the sword shall perish by the sword. All this
shows a great power of seeing through vulgar illusions, and a capacity
for a higher morality than has yet been established in any civilized
community; but it does not place Jesus above Confucius or Plato, not
to mention more modern philosophers and moralists.


\section*{\raggedright MARK.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{MARK}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}


\subsection*{\raggedright THE WOMEN DISCIPLES AND THE ASCENSION.}

Let us see whether we can get anything more out of Mark, whose gospel,
by the way, is supposed to be older than Matthew's. Mark is brief;
and it does not take long to discover that he adds nothing to Matthew
except the ending of the story by Christ's ascension into heaven,
and the news that many women had come with Jesus to Jerusalem, including
Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had cast seven devils. On the other
hand Mark says nothing about the birth of Jesus, and does not touch
his career until his adult baptism by John. He apparently regards
Jesus as a native of Nazareth, as John does, and not of Bethlehem,
as Matthew and Luke do, Bethlehem being the city of David, from whom
Jesus is said by Matthew and Luke to be descended. He describes John's
doctrine as {}``Baptism of repentance unto remission of sins'':
that is, a form of Salvationism. He tells us that Jesus went into
the synagogues and taught, not as the Scribes but as one having authority:
that is, we infer, he preaches his own doctrine as an original moralist
instead of repeating what the books say. He describes the miracle
of Jesus reaching the boat by walking across the sea, but says nothing
about Peter trying to do the same. Mark sees what he relates more
vividly than Matthew, and gives touches of detail that bring the event
more clearly before the reader. He says, for instance, that when Jesus
walked on the waves to the boat, he was passing it by when the disciples
called out to him. He seems to feel that Jesus's treatment of the
woman of Canaan requires some apology, and therefore says that she
was a Greek of Syrophenician race, which probably excused any incivility
to her in Mark's eyes. He represents the father of the boy whom Jesus
cured of epilepsy after the transfiguration as a sceptic who says
{}``Lord, I believe: help thou mine unbelief.'' He tells the story
of the widow's mite, omitted by Matthew. He explains that Barabbas
was {}``lying bound with them that made insurrection, men who in
the insurrection had committed murder.'' Joseph of Arimathea, who
buried Jesus in his own tomb, and who is described by Matthew as a
disciple, is described by Mark as {}``one who also himself was looking
for the kingdom of God,'' which suggests that he was an independent
seeker. Mark earns our gratitude by making no mention of the old prophecies,
and thereby not only saves time, but avoids the absurd implication
that Christ was merely going through a predetermined ritual, like
the works of a clock, instead of living. Finally Mark reports Christ
as saying, after his resurrection, that those who believe in him will
be saved and those who do not, damned; but it is impossible to discover
whether he means anything by a state of damnation beyond a state of
error. The paleographers regard this passage as tacked on by a later
scribe. On the whole Mark leaves the modern reader where Matthew left
him.


\section*{\raggedright LUKE.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{LUKE}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}


\subsection*{\raggedright LUKE THE LITERARY ARTIST.}

When we come to Luke, we come to a later storyteller, and one with
a stronger natural gift for his art. Before you have read twenty lines
of Luke's gospel you are aware that you have passed from the chronicler
writing for the sake of recording important facts, to the artist,
telling the story for the sake of telling it. At the very outset he
achieves the most charming idyll in the Bible: the story of Mary crowded
out of the inn into the stable and laying her newly-born son in the
manger, and of the shepherds abiding in the field keeping watch over
their flocks by night, and how the angel of the Lord came upon them,
and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and suddenly there was
with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host. These shepherds go
to the stable and take the place of the kings in Matthew's chronicle.
So completely has this story conquered and fascinated our imagination
that most of us suppose all the gospels to contain it; but it is Luke's
story and his alone: none of the others have the smallest hint of
it.


\section*{\raggedright THE CHARM OF LUKE'S NARRATIVE.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE CHARM OF LUKES NARRATIVE}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Luke gives the charm of sentimental romance to every incident. The
Annunciation, as described by Matthew, is made to Joseph, and is simply
a warning to him not to divorce his wife for misconduct. In Luke's
gospel it is made to Mary herself, at much greater length, with a
sense of the ecstasy of the bride of the Holy Ghost. Jesus is refined
and softened almost out of recognition: the stern peremptory disciple
of John the Baptist, who never addresses a Pharisee or a Scribe without
an insulting epithet, becomes a considerate, gentle, sociable, almost
urbane person; and the Chauvinist Jew becomes a pro-Gentile who is
thrown out of the synagogue in his own town for reminding the congregation
that the prophets had sometimes preferred Gentiles to Jews. In fact
they try to throw him down from a sort of Tarpeian rock which they
use for executions; but he makes his way through them and escapes:
the only suggestion of a feat of arms on his part in the gospels.
There is not a word of the Syrophenician woman. At the end he is calmly
superior to his sufferings; delivers an address on his way to execution
with unruffled composure; does not despair on the cross; and dies
with perfect dignity, commending his spirit to God, after praying
for the forgiveness of his persecutors on the ground that {}``They
know not what they do.'' According to Matthew, it is part of the
bitterness of his death that even the thieves who are crucified with
him revile him. According to Luke, only one of them does this; and
he is rebuked by the other, who begs Jesus to remember him when he
comes into his kingdom. To which Jesus replies, {}``This day shalt
thou be with me in Paradise,'' implying that he will spend the three
days of his death there. In short, every device is used to get rid
of the ruthless horror of the Matthew chronicle, and to relieve the
strain of the Passion by touching episodes, and by representing Christ
as superior to human suffering. It is Luke's Jesus who has won our
hearts.


\section*{\raggedright THE TOUCH OF PARISIAN ROMANCE.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE TOUCH OF PARISIAN ROMANCE}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Luke's romantic shrinking from unpleasantness, and his sentimentality,
are illustrated by his version of the woman with the ointment. Matthew
and Mark describe it as taking place in the house of Simon the Leper,
where it is objected to as a waste of money. In Luke's version the
leper becomes a rich Pharisee; the woman becomes a \emph{Dame aux
Camellias}; and nothing is said about money and the poor. The woman
washes the feet of Jesus with her tears and dries them with her hair;
and he is reproached for suffering a sinful woman to touch him. It
is almost an adaptation of the unromantic Matthew to the Parisian
stage. There is a distinct attempt to increase the feminine interest
all through. The slight lead given by Mark is taken up and developed.
More is said about Jesus's mother and her feelings. Christ's following
of women, just mentioned by Mark to account for their presence at
his tomb, is introduced earlier; and some of the women are named;
so that we are introduced to Joanna the wife of Chuza, Herod's steward,
and Susanna. There is the quaint little domestic episode between Mary
and Martha. There is the parable of the Prodigal Son, appealing to
the indulgence romance has always shown to Charles Surface and Des
Grieux. Women follow Jesus to the cross; and he makes them a speech
beginning {}``Daughters of Jerusalem.'' Slight as these changes
may seem, they make a great change in the atmosphere. The Christ of
Matthew could never have become what is vulgarly called a woman's
hero (though the truth is that the popular demand for sentiment, as
far as it is not simply human, is more manly than womanly); but the
Christ of Luke has made possible those pictures which now hang in
many ladies' chambers, in which Jesus is represented exactly as he
is represented in the Lourdes cinematograph, by a handsome actor.
The only touch of realism which Luke does not instinctively suppress
for the sake of producing this kind of amenity is the reproach addressed
to Jesus for sitting down to table without washing his hands; and
that is retained because an interesting discourse hangs on it.


\section*{\raggedright WAITING FOR THE MESSIAH.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{WAITING FOR THE MESSIAH}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Another new feature in Luke's story is that it begins in a world in
which everyone is expecting the advent of the Christ. In Matthew and
Mark, Jesus comes into a normal Philistine world like our own of today.
Not until the Baptist foretells that one greater than himself shall
come after him does the old Jewish hope of a Messiah begin to stir
again; and as Jesus begins as a disciple of John, and is baptized
by him, nobody connects him with that hope until Peter has the sudden
inspiration which produces so startling an effect on Jesus. But in
Luke's gospel men's minds, and especially women's minds, are full
of eager expectation of a Christ not only before the birth of Jesus,
but before the birth of John the Baptist, the event with which Luke
begins his story. Whilst Jesus and John are still in their mothers'
wombs, John leaps at the approach of Jesus when the two mothers visit
one another. At the circumcision of Jesus pious men and women hail
the infant as the Christ.

The Baptist himself is not convinced; for at quite a late period in
his former disciple's career he sends two young men to ask Jesus is
he really the Christ. This is noteworthy because Jesus immediately
gives them a deliberate exhibition of miracles, and bids them tell
John what they have seen, and ask him what he thinks now: This is
in complete contradiction to what I have called the Rousseau view
of miracles as inferred from Matthew. Luke shows all a romancer's
thoughtlessness about miracles; he regards them as {}``signs'':
that is, as proofs of the divinity of the person performing them,
and not merely of thaumaturgic powers. He revels in miracles just
as he revels in parables: they make such capital stories. He cannot
allow the calling of Peter, James, and John from their boats to pass
without a comic miraculous overdraft of fishes, with the net sinking
the boats and provoking Peter to exclaim, {}``Depart from me; for
I am a sinful man, O Lord,'' which should probably be translated,
{}``I want no more of your miracles: natural fishing is good enough
for my boats.''

There are some other novelties in Luke's version. Pilate sends Jesus
to Herod, who happens to be in Jerusalem just then, because Herod
had expressed some curiosity about him; but nothing comes of it: the
prisoner will not speak to him. When Jesus is ill received in a Samaritan
village James and John propose to call down fire from heaven and destroy
it; and Jesus replies that he is come not to destroy lives but to
save them. The bias of Jesus against lawyers is emphasized, and also
his resolution not to admit that he is more bound to his relatives
than to strangers. He snubs a woman who blesses his mother. As this
is contrary to the traditions of sentimental romance, Luke would presumably
have avoided it had he not become persuaded that the brotherhood of
Man and the Fatherhood of God are superior even to sentimental considerations.
The story of the lawyer asking what are the two chief commandments
is changed by making Jesus put the question to the lawyer instead
of answering it.

As to doctrine, Luke is only clear when his feelings are touched.
His logic is weak; for some of the sayings of Jesus are pieced together
wrongly, as anyone who has read them in the right order and context
in Matthew will discover at once. He does not make anything new out
of Christ's mission, and, like the other evangelists, thinks that
the whole point of it is that Jesus was the long expected Christ,
and that he will presently come back to earth and establish his kingdom,
having duly died and risen again after three days. Yet Luke not only
records the teaching as to communism and the discarding of hate, which
have, of course, nothing to do with the Second Coming, but quotes
one very remarkable saying which is not compatible with it, which
is, that people must not go about asking where the kingdom of heaven
is, and saying {}``Lo, here!'' and {}``Lo, there!'' because the
kingdom of heaven is within them. But Luke has no sense that this
belongs to a quite different order of thought to his Christianity,
and retains undisturbed his view of the kingdom as a locality as definite
as Jerusalem or Madagascar.


\section*{\raggedright JOHN.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{JOHN}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}


\subsubsection*{\raggedright A NEW STORY AND A NEW CHARACTER.}

The gospel of John is a surprise after the others. Matthew, Mark and
Luke describe the same events in the same order (the variations in
Luke are negligible), and their gospels are therefore called the synoptic
gospels. They tell substantially the same story of a wandering preacher
who at the end of his life came to Jerusalem. John describes a preacher
who spent practically his whole adult life in the capital, with occasional
visits to the provinces. His circumstantial account of the calling
of Peter and the sons of Zebedee is quite different from the others;
and he says nothing about their being fishermen. He says expressly
that Jesus, though baptized by John, did not himself practise baptism,
and that his disciples did. Christ's agonized appeal against his doom
in the garden of Gethsemane becomes a coldblooded suggestion made
in the temple at a much earlier period. Jesus argues much more; complains
a good deal of the unreasonableness and dislike with which he is met;
is by no means silent before Caiaphas and Pilate; lays much greater
stress on his resurrection and on the eating of his body (losing all
his disciples except the twelve in consequence); says many apparently
contradictory and nonsensical things to which no ordinary reader can
now find any clue; and gives the impression of an educated, not to
say sophisticated mystic, different both in character and schooling
from the simple and downright preacher of Matthew and Mark, and the
urbane easy-minded charmer of Luke. Indeed, the Jews say of him {}``How
knoweth this man letters, having never learnt?''


\section*{\raggedright JOHN THE IMMORTAL EYEWITNESS.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{JOHN THE IMMORTAL EYEWITNESS}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

John, moreover, claims to be not only a chronicler but a witness.
He declares that he is {}``the disciple whom Jesus loved,'' and
that he actually leaned on the bosom of Jesus at the last supper and
asked in a whisper which of them it was that should betray him. Jesus
whispered that he would give a sop to the traitor, and thereupon handed
one to Judas, who ate it and immediately became possessed by the devil.
This is more natural than the other accounts, in which Jesus openly
indicates Judas without eliciting any protest or exciting any comment.
It also implies that Jesus deliberately bewitched Judas in order to
bring about his own betrayal. Later on John claims that Jesus said
to Peter {}``If I will that John tarry til I come, what is that to
thee?''; and John, with a rather obvious mock modesty, adds that
he must not claim to be immortal, as the disciples concluded; for
Christ did not use that expression, but merely remarked {}``If I
will that he tarry till I come.'' No other evangelist claims personal
intimacy with Christ, or even pretends to be his contemporary (there
is no ground for identifying Matthew the publican with Matthew the
Evangelist); and John is the only evangelist whose account of Christ's
career and character is hopelessly irreconcilable with Matthew's.
He is almost as bad as Matthew, by the way, in his repeated explanations
of Christ's actions as having no other purpose than to fulfil the
old prophecies. The impression is more unpleasant, because, as John,
unlike Matthew, is educated, subtle, and obsessed with artificial
intellectual mystifications, the discovery that he is stupid or superficial
in so simple a matter strikes one with distrust and dislike, in spite
of his great literary charm, a good example of which is his transfiguration
of the harsh episode of the Syrophenician woman into the pleasant
story of the woman of Samaria. This perhaps is why his claim to be
John the disciple, or to be a contemporary of Christ or even of any
survivor of Christ's generation, has been disputed, and finally, it
seems, disallowed. But I repeat, I take no note here of the disputes
of experts as to the date of the gospels, not because I am not acquainted
with them, but because, as the earliest codices are Greek manuscripts
of the fourth century A.D., and the Syrian ones are translations from
the Greek, the paleographic expert has no difficulty in arriving at
whatever conclusion happens to suit his beliefs or disbeliefs; and
he never succeeds in convincing the other experts except when they
believe or disbelieve exactly as he does. Hence I conclude that the
dates of the original narratives cannot be ascertained, and that we
must make the best of the evangelists' own accounts of themselves.
There is, as we have seen, a very marked difference between them,
leaving no doubt that we are dealing with four authors of well-marked
diversity; but they all end in an attitude of expectancy of the Second
Coming which they agree in declaring Jesus to have positively and
unequivocally promised within the lifetime of his contemporaries.
Any believer compiling a gospel after the last of these contemporaries
had passed away, would either reject and omit the tradition of that
promise on the ground that since it was not fulfilled, and could never
now be fulfilled, it could not have been made, or else have had to
confess to the Jews, who were the keenest critics of the Christians,
that Jesus was either an impostor or the victim of a delusion. Now
all the evangelists except Matthew expressly declare themselves to
be believers; and Matthew's narrative is obviously not that of a sceptic.
I therefore assume as a matter of common sense that, interpolations
apart, the gospels are derived from narratives written in the first
century A.D. I include John, because though it may be claimed that
he hedged his position by claiming that Christ, who specially loved
him, endowed him with a miraculous life until the Second Coming, the
conclusion being that John is alive at this moment, I cannot believe
that a literary forger could hope to save the situation by so outrageous
a pretension. Also, John's narrative is in many passages nearer to
the realities of public life than the simple chronicle of Matthew
or the sentimental romance of Luke. This may be because John was obviously
more a man of the world than the others, and knew, as mere chroniclers
and romancers never know, what actually happens away from books and
desks. But it may also be because he saw and heard what happened instead
of collecting traditions about it. The paleographers and daters of
first quotations may say what they please: John's claim to give evidence
as an eyewitness whilst the others are only compiling history is supported
by a certain verisimilitude which appeals to me as one who has preached
a new doctrine and argued about it, as well as written stories. This
verisimilitude may be dramatic art backed by knowledge of public life;
but even at that we must not forget that the best dramatic art is
the operation of a divinatory instinct for truth. Be that as it may,
John was certainly not the man to believe in the Second Coming and
yet give a date for it after that date had passed. There is really
no escape from the conclusion that the originals of all the gospels
date from the period within which there was still a possibility of
the Second Coming occurring at the promised time.


\section*{\raggedright THE PECULIAR THEOLOGY OF JESUS.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE PECULIAR THEOLOGY OF JESUS}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

In spite of the suspicions roused by John's idiosyncrasies, his narrative
is of enormous importance to those who go to the gospels for a credible
modern religion. For it is John who adds to the other records such
sayings as that {}``I and my father are one''; that {}``God is
a spirit''; that the aim of Jesus is not only that the people should
have life, but that they should have it {}``more abundantly'' (a
distinction much needed by people who think a man is either alive
or dead, and never consider the important question how much alive
he is); and that men should bear in mind what they were told in the
82nd Psalm: that they are gods, and are responsible for the doing
of the mercy and justice of God. The Jews stoned him for saying these
things, and, when he remonstrated with them for stupidly stoning one
who had done nothing to them but good works, replied {}``For a good
work we stone thee not; but for blasphemy, because that thou, being
a man, makest thyself God.'' He insists (referring to the 82nd psalm)
that if it is part of their own religion that they are gods on the
assurance of God himself, it cannot be blasphemy for him, whom the
Father sanctified and sent into the world, to say {}``I am the son
of God.'' But they will not have this at any price; and he has to
escape from their fury. Here the point is obscured by the distinction
made by Jesus between himself and other men. He says, in effect, {}``If
you are gods, then, \emph{\`{a} fortiori}, I am a god.'' John makes
him say this, just as he makes him say {}``I am the light of the
world.'' But Matthew makes him say to the people {}``Ye are the
light of the world.'' John has no grip of the significance of these
scraps which he has picked up: he is far more interested in a notion
of his own that men can escape death and do even more extraordinary
things than Christ himself: in fact, he actually represents Jesus
as promising this explicitly, and is finally led into the audacious
hint that he, John, is himself immortal in the flesh. Still, he does
not miss the significant sayings altogether. However inconsistent
they may be with the doctrine he is consciously driving at, they appeal
to some sub-intellectual instinct in him that makes him stick them
in, like a child sticking tinsel stars on the robe of a toy angel.

John does not mention the ascension; and the end of his narrative
leaves Christ restored to life, and appearing from time to time among
his disciples. It is on one of these occasions that John describes
the miraculous draught of fishes which Luke places at the other end
of Christ's career, at the call of the sons of Zebedee.


\section*{\raggedright JOHN AGREED AS TO THE TRIAL AND CRUCIFIXION.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{JOHN AGREED AS TO THE TRIAL AND CRUCIFIXION}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Although John, following his practice of showing Jesus's skill as
a debater, makes him play a less passive part at his trial, he still
gives substantially the same account of it as all the rest. And the
question that would occur to any modern reader never occurs to him,
any more than it occurred to Matthew, Mark, or Luke. That question
is, Why on earth did not Jesus defend himself, and make the people
rescue him from the High Priest? He was so popular that they were
unable to prevent him driving the money-changers out of the temple,
or to arrest him for it. When they did arrest him afterwards, they
had to do it at night in a garden. He could have argued with them
as he had often done in the temple, and justified himself both to
the Jewish law and to C\ae{}sar. And he had physical force at his
command to back up his arguments: all that was needed was a speech
to rally his followers; and he was not gagged. The reply of the evangelists
would have been that all these inquiries are idle, because if Jesus
had wished to escape, he could have saved himself all that trouble
by doing what John describes him as doing: that is, casting his captors
to the earth by an exertion of his miraculous power. If you asked
John why he let them get up again and torment and execute him, John
would have replied that it was part of the destiny of God to be slain
and buried and to rise again, and that to have avoided this destiny
would have been to repudiate his Godhead. And that is the only apparent
explanation. Whether you believe with the evangelists that Christ
could have rescued himself by a miracle, or, as a modern Secularist,
point out that he could have defended himself effectually, the fact
remains that according to all the narratives he did not do so. He
had to die like a god, not to save himself {}``like one of the princes.''
%
\footnote{Jesus himself had refered to that psalm (LXXII) in which men who have
judged unjustly and accepted the persons of the wicked (including
by anticipation practically all the white inhabitants of the British
Isles and the North American continent, to mention no other places)
are condemned in the words, {}``I have said, ye are gods; and all
of ye are children of the Most High; but ye shall die like men, and
fall like one of the princes.''%
} 

The consensus on this point is important, because it proves the absolute
sincerity of Jesus's declaration that he was a god. No impostor would
have accepted such dreadful consequences without an effort to save
himself. No impostor would have been nerved to endure them by the
conviction that he would rise from the grave and live again after
three days. If we accept the story at all, we must believe this, and
believe also that his promise to return in glory and establish his
kingdom on earth within the lifetime of men then living, was one which
he believed that he could, and indeed must fulfil. Two evangelists
declare that in his last agony he despaired, and reproached God for
forsaking him. The other two represent him as dying in unshaken conviction
and charity with the simple remark that the ordeal was finished. But
all four testify that his faith was not deceived, and that he actually
rose again after three days. And I think it unreasonable to doubt
that all four wrote their narratives in full faith that the other
promise would be fulfilled too, and that they themselves might live
to witness the Second Coming.


\section*{\raggedright CREDIBILITY OF THE GOSPELS.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{CREDIBILITY OF THE GOSPELS}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

It will be noted by the older among my readers, who are sure to be
obsessed more or less by elderly wrangles as to whether the gospels
are credible as matter-of-fact narratives, that I have hardly raised
this question, and have accepted the credible and incredible with
equal complacency. I have done this because credibility is a subjective
condition, as the evolution of religious belief clearly shows. Belief
is not dependent on evidence and reason. There is as much evidence
that the miracles occurred as that the battle of Waterloo occurred,
or that a large body of Russian troops passed through England in 1914
to take part in the war on the western front. The reasons for believing
in the murder of Pompey are the same as the reasons for believing
in the raising of Lazarus. Both have been believed and doubted by
men of equal intelligence. Miracles, in the sense of phenomena we
cannot explain, surround us on every hand; life itself is the miracle
of miracles. Miracles in the sense of events that violate the normal
course of our experience are vouched for every day: the flourishing
Church of Christ Scientist is founded on a multitude of such miracles.
Nobody believes all the miracles: everybody believes some of them.
I cannot tell why men who will not believe that Jesus ever existed
yet believe firmly that Shakespear was Bacon. I cannot tell why people
who believe that angels appeared and fought on our side at the battle
of Mons, and who believe that miracles occur quite frequently at Lourdes,
nevertheless boggle at the miracle of the liquefaction of the blood
of St.\ Januarius, and reject it as a trick of priestcraft. I cannot
tell why people who will not believe Matthew's story of three kings
bringing costly gifts to the cradle of Jesus, believe Luke's story
of the shepherds and the stable. I cannot tell why people, brought
up to believe the Bible in the old literal way as an infallible record
and revelation, and rejecting that view later on, begin by rejecting
the Old Testament, and give up the belief in a brimstone hell before
they give up (if they ever do) the belief in a heaven of harps, crowns,
and thrones. I cannot tell why people who will not believe in baptism
on any terms believe in vaccination with the cruel fanaticism of inquisitors.
I am convinced that if a dozen sceptics were to draw up in parallel
columns a list of the events narrated in the gospels which they consider
credible and incredible respectively, their lists would be different
in several particulars. Belief is literally a matter of taste.


\section*{\raggedright FASHIONS OF BELIEF.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{FASHIONS OF BELIEF}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Now matters of taste are mostly also matters of fashion. We are conscious
of a difference between medieval fashions in belief and modern fashions.
For instance, though we are more credulous than men were in the Middle
Ages, and entertain such crowds of fortunetellers, magicians, miracle
workers, agents of communication with the dead, discoverers of the
elixir of life, transmuters of metals, and healers of all sorts, as
the Middle Ages never dreamed of as possible, yet we will not take
our miracles in the form that convinced the Middle Ages. Arithmetical
numbers appealed to the Middle Ages just as they do to us, because
they are difficult to deal with, and because the greatest masters
of numbers, the Newtons and Leibnitzes, rank among the greatest men.
But there are fashions in numbers too. The Middle Ages took a fancy
to some familiar number like seven; and because it was an odd number,
and the world was made in seven days, and there are seven stars in
Charles's Wain, and for a dozen other reasons, they were ready to
believe anything that had a seven or a seven times seven in it. Seven
deadly sins, seven swords of sorrow in the heart of the Virgin, seven
champions of Christendom, seemed obvious and reasonable things to
believe in simply because they were seven. To us, on the contrary,
the number seven is the stamp of superstition. We will believe in
nothing less than millions. A medieval doctor gained his patient's
confidence by telling him that his vitals were being devoured by seven
worms. Such a diagnosis would ruin a modern physician. The modern
physician tells his patient that he is ill because every drop of his
blood is swarming with a million microbes; and the patient believes
him abjectly and instantly. Had a bishop told William the Conqueror
that the sun was seventy-seven miles distant from the earth, William
would have believed him not only out of respect for the Church, but
because he would have felt that seventy-seven miles was the proper
distance. The Kaiser, knowing just as little about it as the Conqueror,
would send that bishop to an asylum. Yet he (I presume) unhesitatingly
accepts the estimate of ninety-two and nine-tenths millions of miles,
or whatever the latest big figure may be.


\section*{\raggedright CREDIBILITY AND TRUTH.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{CREDIBILITY AND TRUTH}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

And here I must remind you that our credulity is not to be measured
by the truth of the things we believe. When men believed that the
earth was flat, they were not credulous: they were using their common
sense, and, if asked to prove that the earth was flat, would have
said simply, {}``Look at it.'' Those who refuse to believe that
it is round are exercising a wholesome scepticism. The modern man
who believes that the earth is round is grossly credulous. Flat Earth
men drive him to fury by confuting him with the greatest ease when
he tries to argue about it. Confront him with a theory that the earth
is cylindrical, or annular, or hour-glass shaped, and he is lost.
The thing he believes may be true, but that is not why he believes
it: he believes it because in some mysterious way it appeals to his
imagination. If you ask him why he believes that the sun is ninety-odd
million miles off, either he will have to confess that he doesn't
know, or he will say that Newton proved it. But he has not read the
treatise in which Newton proved it, and does not even know that it
was written in Latin. If you press an Ulster Protestant as to why
he regards Newton as an infallible authority, and St.\ Thomas Aquinas
or the Pope as superstitious liars whom, after his death, he will
have the pleasure of watching from his place in heaven whilst they
roast in eternal flame, or if you ask me why I take into serious consideration
Colonel Sir Almroth Wright's estimates of the number of streptococci
contained in a given volume of serum whilst I can only laugh at the
earlier estimates of the number of angels that can be accommodated
on the point of a needle, no reasonable reply is possible except that
somehow sevens and angels are out of fashion, and billions and streptococci
are all the rage. I simply cannot tell you why Bacon, Montaigne, and
Cervantes had a quite different fashion of credulity and incredulity
from the Venerable Bede and Piers Plowman and the divine doctors of
the Aquinas-Aristotle school, who were certainly no stupider, and
had the same facts before them. Still less can I explain why, if we
assume that these leaders of thought had all reasoned out their beliefs,
their authority seemed conclusive to one generation and blasphemous
to another, neither generation having followed the reasoning or gone
into the facts of the matter for itself at all.

It is therefore idle to begin disputing with the reader as to what
he should believe in the gospels and what he should disbelieve. He
will believe what he can, and disbelieve what he must. If he draws
any lines at all, they will be quite arbitrary ones. St.\ John tells
us that when Jesus explicitly claimed divine honors by the sacrament
of his body and blood, so many of his disciples left him that their
number was reduced to twelve. Many modern readers will not hold out
so long: they will give in at the first miracle. Others will discriminate.
They will accept the healing miracles, and reject the feeding of the
multitude. To some the walking on the water will be a legendary exaggeration
of a swim, ending in an ordinary rescue of Peter; and the raising
of Lazarus will be only a similar glorification of a commonplace feat
of artificial respiration, whilst others will scoff at it as a planned
imposture in which Lazarus acted as a confederate. Between the rejection
of the stories as wholly fabulous and the acceptance of them as the
evangelists themselves meant them to be accepted, there will be many
shades of belief and disbelief, of sympathy and derision. It is not
a question of being a Christian or not. A Mahometan Arab will accept
literally and without question parts of the narrative which an English
Archbishop has to reject or explain away; and many Theosophists and
lovers of the wisdom of India, who never enter a Christian Church
except as sightseers, will revel in parts of John's gospel which mean
nothing to a pious matter-of-fact Bradford manufacturer. Every reader
takes from the Bible what he can get. In submitting a pr\'{e}cis
of the gospel narratives I have not implied any estimate either of
their credibility or of their truth. I have simply informed him or
reminded him, as the case may be, of what those narratives tell us
about their hero.


\section*{\raggedright CHRISTIAN ICONOLATRY AND THE PERILS OF THE ICONOCLAST.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{CHRISTIAN ICONOLATRY AND \\
THE PERILS OF THE ICONOCLAST}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

I must now abandon this attitude, and make a serious draft on the
reader's attention by facing the question whether, if and when the
medieval and Methodist will-to-believe the Salvationist and miraculous
side of the gospel narratives fails us, as it plainly has failed the
leaders of modern thought, there will be anything left of the mission
of Jesus: whether, in short, we may not throw the gospels into the
waste-paper basket, or put them away on the fiction shelf of our libraries.
I venture to reply that we shall be, on the contrary, in the position
of the man in Bunyan's riddle who found that {}``the more he threw
away, the more he had.'' We get rid, to begin with, of the idolatrous
or iconographic worship of Christ. By this I mean literally that worship
which is given to pictures and statues of him, and to finished and
unalterable stories about him. The test of the prevalence of this
is that if you speak or write of Jesus as a real live person, or even
as a still active God, such worshippers are more horrified than Don
Juan was when the statue stepped from its pedestal and came to supper
with him. You may deny the divinity of Jesus; you may doubt whether
he ever existed; you may reject Christianity for Judaism, Mahometanism,
Shintoism, or Fire Worship; and the iconolaters, placidly contemptuous,
will only classify you as a freethinker or a heathen. But if you venture
to wonder how Christ would have looked if he had shaved and had his
hair cut, or what size in shoes he took, or whether he swore when
he stood on a nail in the carpenter's shop, or could not button his
robe when he was in a hurry, or whether he laughed over the repartees
by which he baffled the priests when they tried to trap him into sedition
and blasphemy, or even if you tell any part of his story in the vivid
terms of modern colloquial slang, you will produce an extraordinary
dismay and horror among the iconolaters. You will have made the picture
come out of its frame, the statue descend from its pedestal, the story
become real, with all the incalculable consequences that may flow
from this terrifying miracle. It is at such moments that you realize
that the iconolaters have never for a moment conceived Christ as a
real person who meant what he said, as a fact, as a force like electricity,
only needing the invention of suitable political machinery to be applied
to the affairs of mankind with revolutionary effect.

Thus it is not disbelief that is dangerous in our society: it is belief.
The moment it strikes you (as it may any day) that Christ is not the
lifeless harmless image he has hitherto been to you, but a rallying
centre for revolutionary influences which all established States and
Churches fight, you must look to yourselves; for you have brought
the image to life; and the mob may not be able to bear that horror.


\section*{\raggedright THE ALTERNATIVE TO BARRABAS.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE ALTERNATIVE TO BARRABAS}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

But mobs must be faced if civilization is to be saved. It did not
need the present war to show that neither the iconographic Christ
nor the Christ of St.\ Paul has succeeded in effecting the salvation
of human society. Whilst I write, the Turks are said to be massacring
the Armenian Christians on an unprecedented scale; but Europe is not
in a position to remonstrate; for her Christians are slaying one another
by every device which civilization has put within their reach as busily
as they are slaying the Turks. Barabbas is triumphant everywhere;
and the final use he makes of his triumph is to lead us all to suicide
with heroic gestures and resounding lies. Now those who, like myself,
see the Barabbasque social organization as a failure, and are convinced
that the Life Force (or whatever you choose to call it) cannot be
finally beaten by any failure, and will even supersede humanity by
evolving a higher species if we cannot master the problems raised
by the multiplication of our own numbers, have always known that Jesus
had a real message, and have felt the fascination of his character
and doctrine. Not that we should nowadays dream of claiming any supernatural
authority for him, much less the technical authority which attaches
to an educated modern philosopher and jurist. But when, having entirely
got rid of Salvationist Christianity, and even contracted a prejudice
against Jesus on the score of his involuntary connection with it,
we engage on a purely scientific study of economics, criminology,
and biology, and find that our practical conclusions are virtually
those of Jesus, we are distinctly pleased and encouraged to find that
we were doing him an injustice, and that the nimbus that surrounds
his head in the pictures may be interpreted some day as a light of
science rather than a declarations of sentiment or a label of idolatry.

The doctrines in which Jesus is thus confirmed are, roughly, the following:

\begin{enumerate}
\item The kingdom of heaven is within you. You are the son of God; and God
is the son of man. God is a spirit, to be worshipped in spirit and
in truth, and not an elderly gentleman to be bribed and begged from.
We are members one of another; so that you cannot injure or help your
neighbor without injuring or helping yourself. God is your father:
you are here to do God's work; and you and your father are one.
\item Get rid of property by throwing it into the common stock. Dissociate
your work entirely from money payments. If you let a child starve
you are letting God starve. Get rid of all anxiety about tomorrow's
dinner and clothes, because you cannot serve two masters: God and
Mammon.
\item Get rid of judges and punishment and revenge. Love your neighbor as
yourself, he being a part of yourself. And love your enemies: they
are your neighbors.
\item Get rid of your family entanglements. Every mother you meet is as
much your mother as the woman who bore you. Every man you meet is
as much your brother as the man she bore after you. Don't waste your
time at family funerals grieving for your relatives: attend to life,
not to death: there are as good fish in the sea as ever came out of
it, and better. In the kingdom of heaven, which, as aforesaid, is
within you, there is no marriage nor giving in marriage, because you
cannot devote your life to two divinities: God and the person you
are married to.
\end{enumerate}
Now these are very interesting propositions; and they become more
interesting every day, as experience and science drive us more and
more to consider them favorably. In considering them, we shall waste
our time unless we give them a reasonable construction. We must assume
that the man who saw his way through such a mass of popular passion
and illusion as stands between us and a sense of the value of such
teaching was quite aware of all the objections that occur to an average
stockbroker in the first five minutes. It is true that the world is
governed to a considerable extent by the considerations that occur
to stockbrokers in the first five minutes; but as the result is that
the world is so badly governed that those who know the truth can hardly
bear to live in it, an objection from an average stockbroker constitutes
in itself a \emph{prima facie} case for any social reform.


\section*{\raggedright THE REDUCTION TO MODERN PRACTICE OF CHRISTIANITY.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE REDUCTION TO MODERN\\
PRACTICE OF CHRISTIANITY}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

All the same, we must reduce the ethical counsels and proposals of
Jesus to modern practice if they are to be of any use to us. If we
ask our stockbroker to act simply as Jesus advised his disciples to
act, he will reply, very justly, {}``You are advising me to become
a tramp.'' If we urge a rich man to sell all that he has and give
it to the poor, he will inform us that such an operation is impossible.
If he sells his shares and his lands, their purchaser will continue
all those activities which oppress the poor. If all the rich men take
the advice simultaneously the shares will fall to zero and the lands
be unsaleable. If one man sells out and throws the money into the
slums, the only result will be to add himself and his dependents to
the list of the poor, and to do no good to the poor beyond giving
a chance few of them a drunken spree. We must therefore bear in mind
that whereas, in the time of Jesus, and in the ages which grew darker
and darker after his death until the darkness, after a brief false
dawn in the Reformation and the Renascence, culminated in the commercial
night of the nineteenth century, it was believed that you could not
make men good by Act of Parliament, we now know that you cannot make
them good in any other way, and that a man who is better than his
fellows is a nuisance. The rich man must sell up not only himself
but his whole class; and that can be done only through the Chancellor
of the Exchequer. The disciple cannot have his bread without money
until there is bread for everybody without money; and that requires
an elaborate municipal organization of the food supply, rate supported.
Being members one of another means One Man One Vote, and One Woman
One Vote, and universal suffrage and equal incomes and all sorts of
modern political measures. Even in Syria in the time of Jesus his
teachings could not possibly have been realized by a series of independent
explosions of personal righteousness on the part of the separate units
of the population. Jerusalem could not have done what even a village
community cannot do, and what Robinson Crusoe himself could not have
done if his conscience, and the stern compulsion of Nature, had not
imposed a common rule on the half dozen Robinson Crusoes who struggled
within him for not wholly compatible satisfactions. And what cannot
be done in Jerusalem or Juan Fernandez cannot be done in London, New
York, Paris, and Berlin. In short, Christianity, good or bad, right
or wrong, must perforce be left out of the question in human affairs
until it is made practically applicable to them by complicated political
devices; and to pretend that a field preacher under the governorship
of Pontius Pilate, or even Pontius Pilate himself in council with
all the wisdom of Rome, could have worked out applications of Christianity
or any other system of morals for the twentieth century, is to shelve
the subject much more effectually than Nero and all its other persecutors
ever succeeded in doing. Personal righteousness, and the view that
you cannot make people moral by Act of Parliament, is, in fact, the
favorite defensive resort of the people who, consciously or subconsciously,
are quite determined not to have their property meddled with by Jesus
or any other reformer.


\section*{\raggedright MODERN COMMUNISM.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{MODERN COMMUNISM}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Now let us see what modern experience and modern sociology has to
say to the teaching of Jesus as summarized here. First, get rid of
your property by throwing it into the common stock. One can hear the
Pharisees of Jerusalem and Chorazin and Bethsaida saying, {}``My
good fellow, if you were to divide up the wealth of Judea equally
today, before the end of the year you would have rich and poor, poverty
and affluence, just as you have today; for there will always be the
idle and the industrious, the thrifty and the wasteful, the drunken
and the sober; and, as you yourself have very justly observed, the
poor we shall have always with us.'' And we can hear the reply, {}``Woe
unto you, liars and hypocrites; for ye have this very day divided
up the wealth of the country yourselves, as must be done every day
(for man liveth not otherwise than from hand to mouth, nor can fish
and eggs endure for ever); and ye have divided it unjustly; also ye
have said that my reproach to you for having the poor always with
you was a law unto you that this evil should persist and stink in
the nostrils of God to all eternity; wherefore I think that Lazarus
will yet see you beside Dives in hell.'' Modern Capitalism has made
short work of the primitive pleas for inequality. The Pharisees themselves
have organized communism in capital. Joint stock is the order of the
day. An attempt to return to individual properties as the basis of
our production would smash civilization more completely than ten revolutions.
You cannot get the fields tilled today until the farmer becomes a
co-operator. Take the shareholder to his railway, and ask him to point
out to you the particular length of rail, the particular seat in the
railway carriage, the particular lever in the engine that is his very
own and nobody else's; and he will shun you as a madman, very wisely.
And if, like Ananias and Sapphira, you try to hold back your little
shop or what not from the common stock, represented by the Trust,
or Combine, or Kartel, the Trust will presently freeze you out and
rope you in and finally strike you dead industrially as thoroughly
as St.\ Peter himself. There is no longer any practical question
open as to Communism in production: the struggle today is over the
distribution of the product: that is, over the daily dividing-up which
is the first necessity of organized society.


\section*{\raggedright REDISTRIBUTION.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{REDISTRIBUTION}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Now it needs no Christ to convince anybody today that our system of
distribution is wildly and monstrously wrong. We have million-dollar
babies side by side with paupers worn out by a long life of unremitted
drudgery. One person in every five dies in a workhouse, a public hospital,
or a madhouse. In cities like London the proportion is very nearly
one in two. Naturally so outrageous a distribution has to be effected
by violence pure and simple. If you demur, you are sold up. If you
resist the selling up you are bludgeoned and imprisoned, the process
being euphemistically called the maintenance of law and order. Iniquity
can go no further. By this time nobody who knows the figures of the
distribution defends them. The most bigoted British Conservative hesitates
to say that his king should be much poorer than Mr.\ Rockefeller,
or to proclaim the moral superiority of prostitution to needlework
on the ground that it pays better. The need for a drastic redistribution
of income in all civilized countries is now as obvious and as generally
admitted as the need for sanitation.


\section*{\raggedright SHALL HE WHO MAKES, OWN.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{SHALL HE WHO MAKES, OWN}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

It is when we come to the question of the proportions in which we
are to redistribute that controversy begins. We are bewildered by
an absurdly unpractical notion that in some way a man's income should
be given to him, not to enable him to live, but as a sort of Sunday
School Prize for good behavior. And this folly is complicated by a
less ridiculous but quite as unpractical belief that it is possible
to assign to each person the exact portion of the national income
that he or she has produced. To a child it seems that the blacksmith
has made a horse-shoe, and that therefore the horse-shoe is his. But
the blacksmith knows that the horse-shoe does not belong solely to
him, but to his landlord, to the rate collector and taxgatherer, to
the men from whom he bought the iron and anvil and the coals, leaving
only a scrap of its value for himself; and this scrap he has to exchange
with the butcher and baker and the clothier for the things that he
really appropriates as living tissue or its wrappings, paying for
all of them more than their cost; for these fellow traders of his
have also their landlords and moneylenders to satisfy. If, then, such
simple and direct village examples of apparent individual production
turn out on a moment's examination to be the products of an elaborate
social organization, what is to be said of such products as dreadnoughts,
factory-made pins and needles, and steel pens? If God takes the dreadnought
in one hand and a steel pen in the other, and asks Job who made them,
and to whom they should belong by maker's right, Job must scratch
his puzzled head with a potsherd and be dumb, unless indeed it strikes
him that God is the ultimate maker, and that all we have a right to
do with the product is to feed his lambs.


\section*{\raggedright LABOR TIME.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{LABOR TIME}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

So maker's right as an alternative to taking the advice of Jesus would
not work. In practice nothing was possible in that direction but to
pay a worker by labor time so much an hour or day or week or year.
But how much? When that question came up, the only answer was {}``as
little as he can be starved into accepting,'' with the ridiculous
results already mentioned, and the additional anomaly that the largest
share went to the people who did not work at all, and the least to
those who worked hardest. In England nine-tenths of the wealth goes
into the pockets of one-tenth of the population.


\section*{\raggedright THE DREAM OF DISTRIBUTION ACCORDING TO MERIT.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE DREAM OF DISTRIBUTION ACCORDING
TO MERIT}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Against this comes the protest of the Sunday School theorists {}``Why
not distribute according to merit?'' Here one imagines Jesus, whose
smile has been broadening down the ages as attempt after attempt to
escape from his teaching has led to deeper and deeper disaster, laughing
outright. Was ever so idiotic a project mooted as the estimation of
virtue in money? The London School of Economics is, we must suppose,
to set examination papers with such questions as, {}``Taking the
money value of the virtues of Jesus as 100, and of Judas Iscariot
as zero, give the correct figures for, respectively, Pontius Pilate,
the proprietor of the Gadarene swine, the widow who put her mite in
the poor-box, Mr. Horatio Bottomley, Shakespear, Mr.\ Jack Johnson,
Sir Isaac Newton, Palestrina, Offenbach, Sir Thomas Lipton, Mr.\ Paul
Cinquevalli, your family doctor, Florence Nightingale, Mrs. Siddons,
your charwoman, the Archbishop of Canterbury, and the common hangman.''
Or {}``The late Mr.\ Barney Barnato received as his lawful income
three thousand times as much money as an English agricultural laborer
of good general character. Name the principal virtues in which Mr.\ Barnato
exceeded the laborer three thousandfold; and give in figures the loss
sustained by civilization when Mr.\ Barnato was driven to despair
and suicide by the reduction of his multiple to one thousand.'' The
Sunday School idea, with its principle {}``to each the income he
deserves'' is really too silly for discussion. Hamlet disposed of
it three hundred years ago. {}``Use every man after his deserts,
and who shall scape whipping?'' Jesus remains unshaken as the practical
man; and we stand exposed as the fools, the blunderers, the unpractical
visionaries. The moment you try to reduce the Sunday School idea to
figures you find that it brings you back to the hopeless plan of paying
for a man's time; and your examination paper will read {}``The time
of Jesus was worth nothing (he complained that the foxes had holes
and the birds of the air nests whilst he had not a place to lay his
head). Dr.\ Crippen's time was worth, say, three hundred and fifty
pounds a year. Criticize this arrangement; and, if you dispute its
justice, state in pounds, dollars, francs and marks, what their relative
time wages ought to have been.'' Your answer may be that the question
is in extremely bad taste and that you decline to answer it. But you
cannot object to being asked how many minutes of a bookmaker's time
is worth two hours of an astronomer's?


\section*{\raggedright VITAL DISTRIBUTION.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{VITAL DISTRIBUTION}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

In the end you are forced to ask the question you should have asked
at the beginning. What do you give a man an income for? Obviously
to keep him alive. Since it is evident that the first condition on
which he can be kept alive without enslaving somebody else is that
he shall produce an equivalent for what it costs to keep him alive,
we may quite rationally compel him to abstain from idling by whatever
means we employ to compel him to abstain from murder, arson, forgery,
or any other crime. The one supremely foolish thing to do with him
is to do nothing; that is, to be as idle, lazy, and heartless in dealing
with him as he is in dealing with us. Even if we provided work for
him instead of basing, as we do, our whole industrial system on successive
competitive waves of overwork with their ensuing troughs of unemployment,
we should still sternly deny him the alternative of not doing it;
for the result must be that he will become poor and make his children
poor if he has any; and poor people are cancers in the commonwealth,
costing far more than if they were handsomely pensioned off as incurables.
Jesus had more sense than to propose anything of the sort. He said
to his disciples, in effect, {}``Do your work for love; and let the
other people lodge and feed and clothe you for love.'' Or, as we
should put it nowadays, {}``for nothing.'' All human experience
and all natural uncommercialized human aspiration point to this as
the right path. The Greeks said, {}``First secure an independent
income; and then practise virtue.'' We all strive towards an independent
income. We all know as well as Jesus did that if we have to take thought
for the morrow as to whether there shall be anything to eat or drink
it will be impossible for us to think of nobler things, or live a
higher life than that of a mole, whose life is from beginning to end
a frenzied pursuit of food. Until the community is organized in such
a way that the fear of bodily want is forgotten as completely as the
fear of wolves already is in civilized capitals, we shall never have
a decent social life. Indeed the whole attraction of our present arrangements
lies in the fact that they do relieve a handful of us from this fear;
but as the relief is effected stupidly and wickedly by making the
favored handful parasitic on the rest, they are smitten with the degeneracy
which seems to be the inevitable biological penalty of complete parasitism,
and corrupt culture and statecraft instead of contributing to them,
their excessive leisure being as mischievous as the excessive toil
of the laborers. Anyhow, the moral is clear. The two main problems
of organized society, how to secure the subsistence of all its members,
and how to prevent the theft of that subsistence by idlers, should
be entirely dissociated; and the practical failure of one of them
to automatically achieve the other recognized and acted on. We may
not all have Jesus's psychological power of seeing, without any enlightenment
from more modern economic phenomena, that they must fail; but we have
the hard fact before us that they do fail. The only people who cling
to the lazy delusion that it is possible to find a just distribution
that will work automatically are those who postulate some revolutionary
change like land nationalization, which by itself would obviously
only force into greater urgency the problem of how to distribute the
product of the land among all the individuals in the community.


\section*{\raggedright EQUAL DISTRIBUTION.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{EQUAL DISTRIBUTION}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

When that problem is at last faced, the question of the proportion
in which the national income shall be distributed can have only one
answer. All our shares must be equal. It has always been so; it always
will be so. It is true that the incomes of robbers vary considerably
from individual to individual; and the variation is reflected in the
incomes of their parasites. The commercialization of certain exceptional
talents has also produced exceptional incomes, direct and derivative.
Persons who live on rent of land and capital are economically, though
not legally, in the category of robbers, and have grotesquely different
incomes. But in the huge mass of mankind variation of income from
individual to individual is unknown, because it is ridiculously impracticable.
As a device for persuading a carpenter that a judge is a creature
of superior nature to himself, to be deferred and submitted to even
to the death, we may give a carpenter a hundred pounds a year and
a judge five thousand; but the wage for one carpenter is the wage
for all the carpenters: the salary for one judge is the salary for
all the judges.


\section*{\raggedright THE CAPTAIN AND THE CABIN BOY.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE CAPTAIN AND THE CABIN BOY}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Nothing, therefore, is really in question, or ever has been, but the
differences between class incomes. Already there is economic equality
between captains, and economic equality between cabin boys. What is
at issue still is whether there shall be economic equality between
captains and cabin boys. What would Jesus have said? Presumably he
would have said that if your only object is to produce a captain and
a cabin boy for the purpose of transferring you from Liverpool to
New York, or to man\oe{}uvre a fleet and carry powder from the magazine
to the gun, then you need give no more than a shilling to the cabin
boy for every pound you give to the more expensively trained captain.
But if in addition to this you desire to allow the two human souls
which are inseparable from the captain and the cabin boy, and which
alone differentiate them from the donkey-engine, to develop all their
possibilities, then you may find the cabin boy costing rather more
than the captain, because cabin boy's work does not do so much for
the soul as captain's work. Consequently you will have to give him
at least as much as the captain unless you definitely wish him to
be a lower creature, in which case the sooner you are hanged as an
abortionist the better. That is the fundamental argument.


\section*{\raggedright THE POLITICAL AND BIOLOGICAL OBJECTIONS TO INEQUALITY.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE POLITICAL AND BIOLOGICAL \\
OBJECTIONS TO INEQUALITY}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

But there are other reasons for objecting to class stratification
of income which have heaped themselves up since the time of Jesus.
In politics it defeats every form of government except that of a necessarily
corrupt oligarchy. Democracy in the most democratic modern republics:
France and the United States for example, is an imposture and a delusion.
It reduces justice and law to a farce: law becomes merely an instrument
for keeping the poor in subjection; and accused workmen are tried,
not by a jury of their peers, but by conspiracies of their exploiters.
The press is the press of the rich and the curse of the poor: it becomes
dangerous to teach men to read. The priest becomes the mere complement
of the policeman in the machinery by which the countryhouse oppresses
the village. Worst of all, marriage becomes a class affair: the infinite
variety of choice which nature offers to the young in search of a
mate is narrowed to a handful of persons of similar income; and beauty
and health become the dreams of artists and the advertisements of
quacks instead of the normal conditions of life. Society is not only
divided but actually destroyed in all directions by inequality of
income between classes: such stability as it has is due to the huge
blocks of people between whom there is equality of income.


\section*{\raggedright JESUS AS ECONOMIST.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{JESUS AS ECONOMIST}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

It seems therefore that we must begin by holding the right to an income
as sacred and equal, just as we now begin by holding the right to
life as sacred and equal. Indeed the one right is only a restatement
of the other. To hang me for cutting a dock laborer's throat after
making much of me for leaving him to starve when I do not happen to
have a ship for him to unload is idiotic; for as he does far less
mischief with his throat cut than when he is starving, a rational
society would esteem the cutthroat more highly than the capitalist.
The thing has become so obvious, and the evil so unendurable, that
if our attempt at civilization is not to perish like all the previous
ones, we shall have to organize our society in such a way as to be
able to say to every person in the land, {}``Take no thought, saying
What shall we eat?\ or What shall we drink?\ or Wherewithal shall
we be clothed?'' We shall then no longer have a race of men whose
hearts are in their pockets and safes and at their bankers. As Jesus
said, where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. That
was why he recommended that money should cease to be a treasure, and
that we should take steps to make ourselves utterly reckless of it,
setting our minds free for higher uses. In other words, that we should
all be gentlemen and take care of our country because our country
takes care of us, instead of the commercialized cads we are, doing
everything and anything for money, and selling our souls and bodies
by the pound and the inch after wasting half the day haggling over
the price. Decidedly, whether you think Jesus was God or not, you
must admit that he was a first-rate political economist.


\section*{\raggedright JESUS AS BIOLOGIST.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{JESUS AS BIOLOGIST}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

He was also, as we now see, a first-rate biologist. It took a century
and a half of evolutionary preachers, from Buffon and Goethe to Butler
and Bergson, to convince us that we and our father are one; that as
the kingdom of heaven is within us we need not go about looking for
it and crying Lo here!\ and Lo there!; that God is not a picture
of a pompous person in white robes in the family Bible, but a spirit;
that it is through this spirit that we evolve towards greater abundance
of life; that we are the lamps in which the light of the world burns:
that, in cohort, we are gods though we die like men. All that is today
sound biology and psychology; and the efforts of Natural Selectionists
like Weismann to reduce evolution to mere automatism have not touched
the doctrine of Jesus, though they have made short work of the theologians
who conceived God as a magnate keeping men and angels as Lord Rothschild
keeps buffaloes and emus at Tring.


\section*{\raggedright MONEY THE MIDWIFE OF SCIENTIFIC COMMUNISM.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{MONEY THE MIDWIFE OF SCIENTIFIC COMMUNISM}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

It may be asked here by some simple-minded reader why we should not
resort to crude Communism as the disciples were told to do. This would
be quite practicable in a village where production was limited to
the supply of the primitive wants which nature imposes on all human
beings alike. We know that people need bread and boots without waiting
for them to come and ask for these things and offer to pay for them.
But when civilization advances to the point at which articles are
produced that no man absolutely needs and that only some men fancy
or can use, it is necessary that individuals should be able to have
things made to their order and at their own cost. It is safe to provide
bread for everybody because everybody wants and eats bread; but it
would be absurd to provide microscopes and trombones, pet snakes and
polo mallets, alembics and test tubes for everybody, as nine-tenths
of them would be wasted; and the nine-tenths of the population who
do not use such things would object to their being provided at all.
We have in the invaluable instrument called money a means of enabling
every individual to order and pay for the particular things he desires
over and above the things he must consume in order to remain alive,
plus the things the State insists on his having and using whether
he wants to or not; for example, clothes, sanitary arrangements, armies
and navies. In large communities, where even the most eccentric demands
for manufactured articles average themselves out until they can be
foreseen within a negligible margin of error, direct communism (Take
what you want without payment, as the people do in Morris's \emph{News
From Nowhere}) will, after a little experience, be found not only
practicable but highly economical to an extent that now seems impossible.
The sportsmen, the musicians, the physicists, the biologists will
get their apparatus for the asking as easily as their bread, or, as
at present, their paving, street lighting, and bridges; and the deaf
man will not object to contribute to communal flutes when the musician
has to contribute to communal ear trumpets. There are cases (for example,
radium) in which the demand may be limited to the merest handful of
laboratory workers, and in which nevertheless the whole community
must pay because the price is beyond the means of any individual worker.
But even when the utmost allowance is made for extensions of communism
that now seem fabulous, there will still remain for a long time to
come regions of supply and demand in which men will need and use money
or individual credit, and for which, therefore, they must have individual
incomes. Foreign travel is an obvious instance. We are so far from
even national communism still, that we shall probably have considerable
developments of local communism before it becomes possible for a Manchester
man to go up to London for a day without taking any money with him.
The modern practical form of the communism of Jesus is therefore,
for the present, equal distribution of the surplus of the national
income that is not absorbed by simple communism.


\section*{\raggedright JUDGE NOT.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{JUDGE NOT}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

In dealing with crime and the family, modern thought and experience
have thrown no fresh light on the views of Jesus. When Swift had occasion
to illustrate the corruption of our civilization by making a catalogue
of the types of scoundrels it produces, he always gave judges a conspicuous
place alongside of them they judged. And he seems to have done this
not as a restatement of the doctrine of Jesus, but as the outcome
of his own observation and judgment. One of Mr.\ Gilbert Chesterton's
stories has for its hero a judge who, whilst trying a criminal case,
is so overwhelmed by the absurdity of his position and the wickedness
of the things it forces him to do, that he throws off the ermine there
and then, and goes out into the world to live the life of an honest
man instead of that of a cruel idol. There has also been a propaganda
of a soulless stupidity called Determinism, representing man as a
dead object driven hither and thither by his environment, antecedents,
circumstances, and so forth, which nevertheless does remind us that
there are limits to the number of cubits an individual can add to
his stature morally or physically, and that it is silly as well as
cruel to torment a man five feet high for not being able to pluck
fruit that is within the reach of men of average height. I have known
a case of an unfortunate child being beaten for not being able to
tell the time after receiving an elaborate explanation of the figures
on a clock dial, the fact being that she was short-sighted and could
not see them. This is a typical illustration of the absurdities and
cruelties into which we are led by the counter-stupidity to Determinism:
the doctrine of Free Will. The notion that people can be good if they
like, and that you should give them a powerful additional motive for
goodness by tormenting them when they do evil, would soon reduce itself
to absurdity if its application were not kept within the limits which
nature sets to the self-control of most of us. Nobody supposes that
a man with no ear for music or no mathematical faculty could be compelled
on pain of death, however cruelly inflicted, to hum all the themes
of Beethoven's symphonies or to complete Newton's work on fluxions.


\section*{\raggedright LIMITS TO FREE WILL.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{LIMITS TO FREE WILL}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Consequently such of our laws as are not merely the intimidations
by which tyrannies are maintained under pretext of law, can be obeyed
through the exercise of a quite common degree of reasoning power and
self-control. Most men and women can endure the ordinary annoyances
and disappointments of life without committing murderous assaults.
They conclude therefore that any person can refrain from such assaults
if he or she chooses to, and proceed to reinforce self-control by
threats of severe punishment. But in this they are mistaken. There
are people, some of them possessing considerable powers of mind and
body, who can no more restrain the fury into which a trifling mishap
throws them than a dog can restrain himself from snapping if he is
suddenly and painfully pinched. People fling knives and lighted paraffin
lamps at one another in a dispute over a dinner-table. Men who have
suffered several long sentences of penal servitude for murderous assaults
will, the very day after they are released, seize their wives and
cast them under drays at an irritating word. We have not only people
who cannot resist an opportunity of stealing for the sake of satisfying
their wants, but even people who have a specific mania for stealing,
and do it when they are in no need of the things they steal. Burglary
fascinates some men as sailoring fascinates some boys. Among respectable
people how many are there who can be restrained by the warnings of
their doctors and the lessons of experience from eating and drinking
more than is good for them? It is true that between self-controlled
people and ungovernable people there is a narrow margin of moral malingerers
who can be made to behave themselves by the fear of consequences;
but it is not worth while maintaining an abominable system of malicious,
deliberate, costly and degrading ill-treatment of criminals for the
sake of these marginal cases. For practical dealing with crime, Determinism
or Predestination is quite a good working rule. People without self-control
enough for social purposes may be killed, or may be kept in asylums
with a view to studying their condition and ascertaining whether it
is curable. To torture them and give ourselves virtuous airs at their
expense is ridiculous and barbarous; and the desire to do it is vindictive
and cruel. And though vindictiveness and cruelty are at least human
qualities when they are frankly proclaimed and indulged, they are
loathsome when they assume the robes of Justice. Which, I take it,
is why Shakespear's Isabella gave such a dressing-down to Judge Angelo,
and why Swift reserved the hottest corner of his hell for judges.
Also, of course, why Jesus said {}``Judge not that ye be not judged''
and {}``If any man hear my words and believe not, I judge him not''
because {}``he hath one that judgeth him'': namely, the Father who
is one with him.

When we are robbed we generally appeal to the criminal law, not considering
that if the criminal law were effective we should not have been robbed.
That convicts us of vengeance.

I need not elaborate the argument further. I have dealt with it sufficiently
elsewhere. I have only to point out that we have been judging and
punishing ever since Jesus told us not to; and I defy anyone to make
out a convincing case for believing that the world has been any better
than it would have been if there had never been a judge, a prison,
or a gallows in it all that time. We have simply added the misery
of punishment to the misery of crime, and the cruelty of the judge
to the cruelty of the criminal. We have taken the bad man, and made
him worse by torture and degradation, incidentally making ourselves
worse in the process. It does not seem very sensible, does it? It
would have been far easier to kill him as kindly as possible, or to
label him and leave him to his conscience, or to treat him as an invalid
or a lunatic is now treated (it is only of late years, by the way,
that madmen have been delivered from the whip, the chain, and the
cage; and this, I presume, is the form in which the teaching of Jesus
could have been put into practice.)


\section*{\raggedright JESUS ON MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{JESUS ON MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

When we come to marriage and the family, we find Jesus making the
same objection to that individual appropriation of human beings which
is the essence of matrimony as to the individual appropriation of
wealth. A married man, he said, will try to please his wife, and a
married woman to please her husband, instead of doing the work of
God. This is another version of {}``Where your treasure is, there
will your heart be also.'' Eighteen hundred years later we find a
very different person from Jesus, Talleyrand to wit, saying the same
thing. A married man with a family, said Talleyrand, will do anything
for money. Now this, though not a scientifically precise statement,
is true enough to be a moral objection to marriage. As long as a man
has a right to risk his life or his livelihood for his ideas he needs
only courage and conviction to make his integrity unassailable. But
he forfeits that right when he marries. It took a revolution to rescue
Wagner from his Court appointment at Dresden; and his wife never forgave
him for being glad and feeling free when he lost it and threw her
back into poverty. Millet might have gone on painting potboiling nudes
to the end of his life if his wife had not been of a heroic turn herself.
Women, for the sake of their children and parents, submit to slaveries
and prostitutions that no unattached woman would endure.

This was the beginning and the end of the objection of Jesus to marriage
and family ties, and the explanation of his conception of heaven as
a place where there should be neither marrying nor giving in marriage.
Now there is no reason to suppose that when he said this he did not
mean it. He did not, as St.\ Paul did afterwards in his name, propose
celibacy as a rule of life; for he was not a fool, nor, when he denounced
marriage, had he yet come to believe, as St.\ Paul did, that the
end of the world was at hand and there was therefore no more need
to replenish the earth. He must have meant that the race should be
continued without dividing with women and men the allegiance the individual
owes to God within him. This raises the practical problem of how we
are to secure the spiritual freedom and integrity of the priest and
the nun without their barrenness and uncompleted experience. Luther
the priest did not solve the problem by marrying a nun: he only testified
in the most convincing and practical way to the fact that celibacy
was a worse failure than marriage.


\section*{\raggedright WHY JESUS DID NOT MARRY.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{WHY JESUS DID NOT MARRY}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

To all appearance the problem oppresses only a few exceptional people.
Thoroughly conventional women married to thoroughly conventional men
should not be conscious of any restriction: the chain not only leaves
them free to do whatever they want to do, but greatly facilitates
their doing it. To them an attack on marriage is not a blow struck
in defence of their freedom but at their rights and privileges. One
would expect that they would not only demur vehemently to the teachings
of Jesus in this matter, but object strongly to his not having been
a married man himself. Even those who regard him as a god descended
from his throne in heaven to take on humanity for a time might reasonably
declare that the assumption of humanity must have been incomplete
at its most vital point if he were a celibate. But the facts are flatly
contrary. The mere thought of Jesus as a married man is felt to be
blasphemous by the most conventional believers; and even those of
us to whom Jesus is no supernatural personage, but a prophet only
as Mahomet was a prophet, feel that there was something more dignified
in the bachelordom of Jesus than in the spectacle of Mahomet lying
distracted on the floor of his harem whilst his wives stormed and
squabbled and henpecked round him. We are not surprised that when
Jesus called the sons of Zebedee to follow him, he did not call their
father, and that the disciples, like Jesus himself, were all men without
family entanglements. It is evident from his impatience when people
excused themselves from following him because of their family funerals,
or when they assumed that his first duty was to his mother, that he
had found family ties and domestic affections in his way at every
turn, and had become persuaded at last that no man could follow his
inner light until he was free from their compulsion. The absence of
any protest against this tempts us to declare on this question of
marriage there are no conventional people; and that everyone of us
is at heart a good Christian sexually.


\section*{\raggedright INCONSISTENCY OF THE SEX INSTINCT.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{INCONSISTENCY OF THE SEX INSTINCT}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

But the question is not so simple as that. Sex is an exceedingly subtle
and complicated instinct; and the mass of mankind neither know nor
care much about freedom of conscience, which is what Jesus was thinking
about, and are concerned almost to obsession with sex, as to which
Jesus said nothing. In our sexual natures we are torn by an irresistible
attraction and an overwhelming repugnance and disgust. We have two
tyrannous physical passions: concupiscence and chastity. We become
mad in pursuit of sex: we become equally mad in the persecution of
that pursuit. Unless we gratify our desire the race is lost: unless
we restrain it we destroy ourselves. We are thus led to devise marriage
institutions which will at the same time secure opportunities for
the gratification of sex and raise up innumerable obstacles to it;
which will sanctify it and brand it as infamous; which will identify
it with virtue and with sin simultaneously. Obviously it is useless
to look for any consistency in such institutions; and it is only by
continual reform and readjustment, and by a considerable elasticity
in their enforcement, that a tolerable result can be arrived at. I
need not repeat here the long and elaborate examination of them that
I prefixed to my play entitled \emph{Getting Married}. Here I am concerned
only with the views of Jesus on the question; and it is necessary,
in order to understand the attitude of the world towards them, that
we should not attribute the general approval of the decision of Jesus
to remain unmarried as an endorsement of his views. We are simply
in a state of confusion on the subject; but it is part of the confusion
that we should conclude that Jesus was a celibate, and shrink even
from the idea that his birth was a natural one, yet cling with ferocity
to the sacredness of the institution which provides a refuge from
celibacy.


\section*{\raggedright FOR BETTER OR WORSE.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{FOR BETTER OR WORSE}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Jesus, however, did not express a complicated view of marriage. His
objection to it was quite simple, as we have seen. He perceived that
nobody could live the higher life unless money and sexual love were
obtainable without sacrificing it; and he saw that the effect of marriage
as it existed among the Jews (and as it still exists among ourselves)
was to make the couples sacrifice every higher consideration until
they had fed and pleased one another. The worst of it is that this
dangerous preposterousness in marriage, instead of improving as the
general conduct of married couples improves, becomes much worse. The
selfish man to whom his wife is nothing but a slave, the selfish woman
to whom her husband is nothing but a scapegoat and a breadwinner,
are not held back from spiritual or any other adventures by fear of
their effect on the welfare of their mates. Their wives do not make
recreants and cowards of them: their husbands do not chain them to
the cradle and the cooking range when their feet should be beautiful
on the mountains. It is precisely as people become more kindly, more
conscientious, more ready to shoulder the heavier part of the burden
(which means that the strong shall give way to the weak and the slow
hold back the swift), that marriage becomes an intolerable obstacle
to individual evolution. And that is why the revolt against marriage
of which Jesus was an exponent always recurs when civilization raises
the standard of marital duty and affection, and at the same time produces
a greater need for individual freedom in pursuit of a higher evolution.
This, fortunately, is only one side of marriage; and the question
arises, can it not be eliminated? The reply is reassuring: of course
it can. There is no mortal reason in the nature of things why a married
couple should be economically dependent on one another. The Communism
advocated by Jesus, which we have seen to be entirely practicable,
and indeed inevitable if our civilization is to be saved from collapse,
gets rid of that difficulty completely. And with the economic dependence
will go the force of the outrageous claims that derive their real
sanction from the economic pressure behind them. When a man allows
his wife to turn him from the best work he is capable of doing, and
to sell his soul at the highest commercial prices obtainable; when
he allows her to entangle him in a social routine that is wearisome
and debilitating to him, or tie him to her apron strings when he needs
that occasional solitude which is one of the most sacred of human
rights, he does so because he has no right to impose eccentric standards
of expenditure and unsocial habits on her, and because these conditions
have produced by their pressure so general a custom of chaining wedded
couples to one another that married people are coarsely derided when
their partners break the chain. And when a woman is condemned by her
parents to wait in genteel idleness and uselessness for a husband
when all her healthy social instincts call her to acquire a profession
and work, it is again her economic dependence on them that makes their
tyranny effective.


\section*{\raggedright THE CASE FOR MARRIAGE.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE CASE FOR MARRIAGE}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Thus, though it would be too much to say that everything that is obnoxious
in marriage and family life will be cured by Communism, yet it can
be said that it will cure what Jesus objected to in these institutions.
He made no comprehensive study of them: he only expressed his own
grievance with an overwhelming sense that it is a grievance so deep
that all the considerations on the other side are as dust in the balance.
Obviously there are such considerations, and very weighty ones too.
When Talleyrand said that a married man with a family is capable of
anything, he meant anything evil; but an optimist may declare, with
equal half truth, that a married man is capable of anything good;
that marriage turns vagabonds into steady citizens; and that men and
women will, for love of their mates and children, practise virtues
that unattached individuals are incapable of. It is true that too
much of this domestic virtue is self-denial, which is not a virtue
at all; but then the following of the inner light at all costs is
largely self-indulgence, which is just as suicidal, just as weak,
just as cowardly as self-denial. Ibsen, who takes us into the matter
far more resolutely than Jesus, is unable to find any golden rule:
both Brand and Peer Gynt come to a bad end; and though Brand does
not do as much mischief as Peer, the mischief he does do is of extraordinary
intensity.


\section*{\raggedright CELIBACY NO REMEDY.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{CELIBACY NO REMEDY}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

We must, I think, regard the protest of Jesus against marriage and
family ties as the claim of a particular kind of individual to be
free from them because they hamper his own work intolerably. When
he said that if we are to follow him in the sense of taking up his
work we must give up our family ties, he was simply stating a fact;
and to this day the Roman Catholic priest, the Buddhist lama, and
the fakirs of all the eastern denominations accept the saying. It
is also accepted by the physically enterprising, the explorers, the
restlessly energetic of all kinds, in short, by the adventurous. The
greatest sacrifice in marriage is the sacrifice of the adventurous
attitude towards life: the being settled. Those who are born tired
may crave for settlement; but to fresher and stronger spirits it is
a form of suicide. Now to say of any institution that it is incompatible
with both the contemplative and adventurous life is to disgrace it
so vitally that all the moralizings of all the Deans and Chapters
cannot reconcile our souls to its slavery. The unmarried Jesus and
the unmarried Beethoven, the unmarried Joan of Arc, Clare, Teresa,
Florence Nightingale seem as they should be; and the saying that there
is always something ridiculous about a married philosopher becomes
inevitable. And yet the celibate is still more ridiculous than the
married man: the priest, in accepting the alternative of celibacy,
disables himself; and the best priests are those who have been men
of this world before they became men of the world to come. But as
the taking of vows does not annul an existing marriage, and a married
man cannot become a priest, we are again confronted with the absurdity
that the best priest is a reformed rake. Thus does marriage, itself
intolerable, thrust us upon intolerable alternatives. The practical
solution is to make the individual economically independent of marriage
and the family, and to make marriage as easily dissoluble as any other
partnership: in other words, to accept the conclusions to which experience
is slowly driving both our sociologists and our legislators. This
will not instantly cure all the evils of marriage, nor root up at
one stroke its detestable tradition of property in human bodies. But
it will leave Nature free to effect a cure; and in free soil the root
may wither and perish.

This disposes of all the opinions and teachings of Jesus which are
still matters of controversy. They are all in line with the best modern
thought. He told us what we have to do; and we have had to find the
way to do it. Most of us are still, as most were in his own time,
extremely recalcitrant, and are being forced along that way by painful
pressure of circumstances, protesting at every step that nothing will
induce us to go; that it is a ridiculous way, a disgraceful way, a
socialistic way, an atheistic way, an immoral way, and that the vanguard
ought to be ashamed of themselves and must be made to turn back at
once. But they find that they have to follow the vanguard all the
same if their lives are to be worth living.


\section*{\raggedright AFTER THE CRUCIFIXION.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{AFTER THE CRUCIFIXION}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Let us now return to the New Testament narrative; for what happened
after the disappearance of Jesus is instructive. Unfortunately, the
crucifixion was a complete political success. I remember that when
I described it in these terms once before, I greatly shocked a most
respectable newspaper in my native town, the Dublin \emph{Daily Express},
because my journalistic phrase showed that I was treating it as an
ordinary event like Home Rule or the Insurance Act: that is (though
this did not occur to the editor), as a real event which had really
happened, instead of a portion of the Church service. I can only repeat,
assuming as I am that it was a real event and did actually happen,
that it was as complete a success as any in history. Christianity
as a specific doctrine was slain with Jesus, suddenly and utterly.
He was hardly cold in his grave, or high in his heaven (as you please),
before the apostles dragged the tradition of him down to the level
of the thing it has remained ever since. And that thing the intelligent
heathen may study, if they would be instructed in it by modern books,
in Samuel Butler's novel, \emph{The Way of All Flesh}.


\section*{\raggedright THE VINDICTIVE MIRACLES AND THE STONING OF STEPHEN.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE VINDICTIVE MIRACLES AND \\
THE STONING OF STEPHEN}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Take, for example, the miracles. Of Jesus alone of all the Christian
miracle workers there is no record, except in certain gospels that
all men reject, of a malicious or destructive miracle. A barren fig-tree
was the only victim of his anger. Every one of his miracles on sentient
subjects was an act of kindness. John declares that he healed the
wound of the man whose ear was cut off (by Peter, John says) at the
arrest in the garden. One of the first things the apostles did with
their miraculous power was to strike dead a wretched man and his wife
who had defrauded them by holding back some money from the common
stock. They struck people blind or dead without remorse, judging because
they had been judged. They healed the sick and raised the dead apparently
in a spirit of pure display and advertisement. Their doctrine did
not contain a ray of that light which reveals Jesus as one of the
redeemers of men from folly and error. They cancelled him, and went
back straight to John the Baptist and his formula of securing remission
of sins by repentance and the rite of baptism (being born again of
water and the spirit). Peter's first harangue softens us by the human
touch of its exordium, which was a quaint assurance to his hearers
that they must believe him to be sober because it was too early in
the day to get drunk; but of Jesus he had nothing to say except that
he was the Christ foretold by the prophets as coming from the seed
of David, and that they must believe this and be baptized. To this
the other apostles added incessant denunciations of the Jews for having
crucified him, and threats of the destruction that would overtake
them if they did not repent: that is, if they did not join the sect
which the apostles were now forming. A quite intolerable young speaker
named Stephen delivered an oration to the council, in which he first
inflicted on them a tedious sketch of the history of Israel, with
which they were presumably as well acquainted as he, and then reviled
them in the most insulting terms as {}``stiffnecked and uncircumcized.''
Finally, after boring and annoying them to the utmost bearable extremity,
he looked up and declared that he saw the heavens open, and Christ
standing on the right hand of God. This was too much: they threw him
out of the city and stoned him to death. It was a severe way of suppressing
a tactless and conceited bore; but it was pardonable and human in
comparison to the slaughter of poor Ananias and Sapphira.


\section*{\raggedright PAUL.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{PAUL}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Suddenly a man of genius, Paul, violently anti-Christian, enters on
the scene, holding the clothes of the men who are stoning Stephen.
He persecutes the Christians with great vigor, a sport which he combines
with the business of a tentmaker. This temperamental hatred of Jesus,
whom he has never seen, is a pathological symptom of that particular
sort of conscience and nervous constitution which brings its victims
under the tyranny of two delirious terrors: the terror of sin and
the terror of death, which may be called also the terror of sex and
the terror of life. Now Jesus, with his healthy conscience on his
higher plane, was free from these terrors. He consorted freely with
sinners, and was never concerned for a moment, as far as we know,
about whether his conduct was sinful or not; so that he has forced
us to accept him as the man without sin. Even if we reckon his last
days as the days of his delusion, he none the less gave a fairly convincing
exhibition of superiority to the fear of death. This must have both
fascinated and horrified Paul, or Saul, as he was first called. The
horror accounts for his fierce persecution of the Christians. The
fascination accounts for the strangest of his fancies: the fancy for
attaching the name of Jesus Christ to the great idea which flashed
upon him on the road to Damascus, the idea that he could not only
make a religion of his two terrors, but that the movement started
by Jesus offered him the nucleus for his new Church. It was a monstrous
idea; and the shocks of it, as he afterwards declared, struck him
blind for days. He heard Jesus calling to him from the clouds, {}``Why
persecute me?'' His natural hatred of the teacher for whom Sin and
Death had no terrors turned into a wild personal worship of him which
has the ghastliness of a beautiful thing seen in a false light.

The chronicler of the Acts of the Apostles sees nothing of the significance
of this. The great danger of conversion in all ages has been that
when the religion of the high mind is offered to the lower mind, the
lower mind, feeling its fascination without understanding it, and
being incapable of rising to it, drags it down to its level by degrading
it. Years ago I said that the conversion of a savage to Christianity
is the conversion of Christianity to savagery. The conversion of Paul
was no conversion at all: it was Paul who converted the religion that
had raised one man above sin and death into a religion that delivered
millions of men so completely into their dominion that their own common
nature became a horror to them, and the religious life became a denial
of life. Paul had no intention of surrendering either his Judaism
or his Roman citizenship to the new moral world (as Robert Owen called
it) of Communism and Jesuism. Just as in the XIX century Karl Marx,
not content to take political economy as he found it, insisted on
rebuilding it from the bottom upwards in his own way, and thereby
gave a new lease of life to the errors it was just outgrowing, so
Paul reconstructed the old Salvationism from which Jesus had vainly
tried to redeem him, and produced a fantastic theology which is still
the most amazing thing of the kind known to us. Being intellectually
an inveterate Roman Rationalist, always discarding the irrational
real thing for the unreal but ratiocinable postulate, he began by
discarding Man as he is, and substituted a postulate which he called
Adam. And when he was asked, as he surely must have been in a world
not wholly mad, what had become of the natural man, he replied {}``Adam
\emph{is} the natural man.'' This was confusing to simpletons, because
according to tradition Adam was certainly the name of the natural
man as created in the garden of Eden. It was as if a preacher of our
own time had described as typically British Frankenstein's monster,
and called him Smith, and somebody, on demanding what about the man
in the street, had been told {}``Smith \emph{is} the man in the street.''
The thing happens often enough; for indeed the world is full of these
Adams and Smiths and men in the street and average sensual men and
economic men and womanly women and what not, all of them imaginary
Atlases carrying imaginary worlds on their unsubstantial shoulders.

The Eden story provided Adam with a sin: the {}``original sin''
for which we are all damned. Baldly stated, this seems ridiculous;
nevertheless it corresponds to something actually existent not only
in Paul's consciousness but in our own. The original sin was not the
eating of the forbidden fruit, but the consciousness of sin which
the fruit produced. The moment Adam and Eve tasted the apple they
found themselves ashamed of their sexual relation, which until then
had seemed quite innocent to them; and there is no getting over the
hard fact that this shame, or state of sin, has persisted to this
day, and is one of the strongest of our instincts. Thus Paul's postulate
of Adam as the natural man was pragmatically true: it worked. But
the weakness of Pragmatism is that most theories will work if you
put your back into making them work, provided they have some point
of contact with human nature. Hedonism will pass the pragmatic test
as well as Stoicism. Up to a certain point every social principle
that is not absolutely idiotic works: Autocracy works in Russia and
Democracy in America; Atheism works in France, Polytheism in India,
Monotheism throughout Islam, and Pragmatism, or No-ism, in England.
Paul's fantastic conception of the damned Adam, represented by Bunyan
as a pilgrim with a great burden of sins on his back, corresponded
to the fundamental condition of evolution, which is, that life, including
human life, is continually evolving, and must therefore be continually
ashamed of itself and its present and past. Bunyan's pilgrim wants
to get rid of his bundle of sins; but he also wants to reach {}``yonder
shining light;'' and when at last his bundle falls off him into the
sepulchre of Christ, his pilgrimage is still unfinished and his hardest
trials still ahead of him. His conscience remains uneasy; {}``original
sin'' still torments him; and his adventure with Giant Despair, who
throws him into the dungeon of Doubting Castle, from which he escapes
by the use of a skeleton key, is more terrible than any he met whilst
the bundle was still on his back. Thus Bunyan's allegory of human
nature breaks through the Pauline theology at a hundred points. His
theological allegory, The Holy War, with its troops of Election Doubters,
and its cavalry of {}``those that rode Reformadoes,'' is, as a whole,
absurd, impossible, and, except in passages where the artistic old
Adam momentarily got the better of the Salvationist theologian, hardly
readable.

Paul's theory of original sin was to some extent idiosyncratic. He
tells us definitely that he finds himself quite well able to avoid
the sinfulness of sex by practising celibacy; but he recognizes, rather
contemptuously, that in this respect he is not as other men are, and
says that they had better marry than burn, thus admitting that though
marriage may lead to placing the desire to please wife or husband
before the desire to please God, yet preoccupation with unsatisfied
desire may be even more ungodly than preoccupation with domestic affection.
This view of the case inevitably led him to insist that a wife should
be rather a slave than a partner, her real function being, not to
engage a man's love and loyalty, but on the contrary to release them
for God by relieving the man of all preoccupation with sex just as
in her capacity of a housekeeper and cook she relieves his preoccupation
with hunger by the simple expedient of satisfying his appetite. This
slavery also justifies itself pragmatically by working effectively;
but it has made Paul the eternal enemy of Woman. Incidentally it has
led to many foolish surmises about Paul's personal character and circumstance,
by people so enslaved by sex that a celibate appears to them a sort
of monster. They forget that not only whole priesthoods, official
and unofficial, from Paul to Carlyle and Ruskin, have defied the tyranny
of sex, but immense numbers of ordinary citizens of both sexes have,
either voluntarily or under pressure of circumstances easily surmountable,
saved their energies for less primitive activities.

Howbeit, Paul succeeded in stealing the image of Christ crucified
for the figure-head of his Salvationist vessel, with its Adam posing
as the natural man, its doctrine of original sin, and its damnation
avoidable only by faith in the sacrifice of the cross. In fact, no
sooner had Jesus knocked over the dragon of superstition than Paul
boldly set it on its legs again in the name of Jesus.


\section*{\raggedright THE CONFUSION OF CHRISTENDOM.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE CONFUSION OF CHRISTENDOM}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Now it is evident that two religions having such contrary effects
on mankind should not be confused as they are under a common name.
There is not one word of Pauline Christianity in the characteristic
utterances of Jesus. When Saul watched the clothes of the men who
stoned Stephen, he was not acting upon beliefs which Paul renounced.
There is no record of Christ's having ever said to any man: {}``Go
and sin as much as you like: you can put it all on me.'' He said
{}``Sin no more,'' and insisted that he was putting up the standard
of conduct, not debasing it, and that the righteousness of the Christian
must exceed that of the Scribe and Pharisee. The notion that he was
shedding his blood in order that every petty cheat and adulterator
and libertine might wallow in it and come out whiter than snow, cannot
be imputed to him on his own authority. {}``I come as an infallible
patent medicine for bad consciences'' is not one of the sayings in
the gospels. If Jesus could have been consulted on Bunyan's allegory
as to that business of the burden of sin dropping from the pilgrim's
back when he caught sight of the cross, we must infer from his teaching
that he would have told Bunyan in forcible terms that he had never
made a greater mistake in his life, and that the business of a Christ
was to make self-satisfied sinners feel the burden of their sins and
stop committing them instead of assuring them that they could not
help it, as it was all Adam's fault, but that it did not matter as
long as they were credulous and friendly about himself. Even when
he believed himself to be a god, he did not regard himself as a scapegoat.
He was to take away the sins of the world by good government, by justice
and mercy, by setting the welfare of little children above the pride
of princes, by casting all the quackeries and idol\^{a}tries which
now usurp and malversate the power of God into what our local authorities
quaintly call the dust destructor, and by riding on the clouds of
heaven in glory instead of in a thousand-guinea motor car. That was
delirious, if you like; but it was the delirium of a free soul, not
of a shamebound one like Paul's. There has really never been a more
monstrous imposition perpetrated than the imposition of the limitations
of Paul's soul upon the soul of Jesus.


\section*{\raggedright THE SECRET OF PAUL'S SUCCESS.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE SECRET OF PAULS SUCCESS}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Paul must soon have found that his followers had gained peace of mind
and victory over death and sin at the cost of all moral responsibility;
for he did his best to reintroduce it by making good conduct the test
of sincere belief, and insisting that sincere belief was necessary
to salvation. But as his system was rooted in the plain fact that
as what he called sin includes sex and is therefore an ineradicable
part of human nature (why else should Christ have had to atone for
the sin of all future generations?) it was impossible for him to declare
that sin, even in its wickedest extremity, could forfeit the sinner's
salvation if he repented and believed. And to this day Pauline Christianity
is, and owes its enormous vogue to being, a premium on sin. Its consequences
have had to be held in check by the worldlywise majority through a
violently anti-Christian system of criminal law and stern morality.
But of course the main restraint is human nature, which has good impulses
as well as bad ones, and refrains from theft and murder and cruelty,
even when it is taught that it can commit them all at the expense
of Christ and go happily to heaven afterwards, simply because it does
not always want to murder or rob or torture.

It is now easy to understand why the Christianity of Jesus failed
completely to establish itself politically and socially, and was easily
suppressed by the police and the Church, whilst Paulinism overran
the whole western civilized world, which was at that time the Roman
Empire, and was adopted by it as its official faith, the old avenging
gods falling helplessly before the new Redeemer. It still retains,
as we may see in Africa, its power of bringing to simple people a
message of hope and consolation that no other religion offers. But
this enchantment is produced by its spurious association with the
personal charm of Jesus, and exists only for untrained minds. In the
hands of a logical Frenchman like Calvin, pushing it to its utmost
conclusions, and devising {}``institutes'' for hardheaded adult
Scots and literal Swiss, it becomes the most infernal of fatalisms;
and the lives of civilized children are blighted by its logic whilst
negro piccaninnies are rejoicing in its legends.


\section*{\raggedright PAUL'S QUALITIES}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{PAULS QUALITIES}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Paul, however, did not get his great reputation by mere imposition
and reaction. It is only in comparison with Jesus (to whom many prefer
him) that he appears common and conceited. Though in The Acts he is
only a vulgar revivalist, he comes out in his own epistles as a genuine
poet,\mbox{---}though by flashes only. He is no more a Christian
than Jesus was a Baptist; he is a disciple of Jesus only as Jesus
was a disciple of John. He does nothing that Jesus would have done,
and says nothing that Jesus would have said, though much, like the
famous ode to charity, that he would have admired. He is more Jewish
than the Jews, more Roman than the Romans, proud both ways, full of
startling confessions and self-revelations that would not surprise
us if they were slipped into the pages of Nietzsche, tormented by
an intellectual conscience that demanded an argued case even at the
cost of sophistry, with all sorts of fine qualities and occasional
illuminations, but always hopelessly in the toils of Sin, Death, and
Logic, which had no power over Jesus. As we have seen, it was by introducing
this bondage and terror of his into the Christian doctrine that he
adapted it to the Church and State systems which Jesus transcended,
and made it practicable by destroying the specifically Jesuist side
of it. He would have been quite in his place in any modern Protestant
State; and he, not Jesus, is the true head and founder of our Reformed
Church, as Peter is of the Roman Church. The followers of Paul and
Peter made Christendom, whilst the Nazarenes were wiped out.


\section*{\raggedright THE ACTS OF THE APOSTLES.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE ACTS OF THE APOSTLES}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Here we may return to the narrative called The Acts of the Apostles,
which we left at the point where the stoning of Stephen was followed
by the introduction of Paul. The author of The Acts, though a good
story-teller, like Luke, was (herein also like Luke) much weaker in
power of thought than in imaginative literary art. Hence we find Luke
credited with the authorship of The Acts by people who like stories
and have no aptitude for theology, whilst the book itself is denounced
as spurious by Pauline theologians because Paul, and indeed all the
apostles, are represented in it as very commonplace revivalists, interesting
us by their adventures more than by any qualities of mind or character.
Indeed, but for the epistles, we should have a very poor opinion of
the apostles. Paul in particular is described as setting a fashion
which has remained in continual use to this day. Whenever he addresses
an audience, he dwells with great zest on his misdeeds before his
pseudo conversion, with the effect of throwing into stronger relief
his present state of blessedness; and he tells the story of that conversion
over and over again, ending with exhortations to the hearers to come
and be saved, and threats of the wrath that will overtake them if
they refuse. At any revival meeting today the same thing may be heard,
followed by the same conversions. This is natural enough; but it is
totally unlike the preaching of Jesus, who never talked about his
personal history, and never {}``worked up'' an audience to hysteria.
It aims at a purely nervous effect; it brings no enlightenment; the
most ignorant man has only to become intoxicated with his own vanity,
and mistake his self-satisfaction for the Holy Ghost, to become qualified
as an apostle; and it has absolutely nothing to do with the characteristic
doctrines of Jesus. The Holy Ghost may be at work all round producing
wonders of art and science, and strengthening men to endure all sorts
of martyrdoms for the enlargement of knowledge, and the enrichment
and intensification of life (\char`\"{}that ye may have life more
abundantly\char`\"{}); but the apostles, as described in The Acts,
take no part in the struggle except as persecutors and revilers. To
this day, when their successors get the upper hand, as in Geneva (Knox's
{}``perfect city of Christ'') and in Scotland and Ulster, every
spiritual activity but moneymaking and churchgoing is stamped out;
heretics are ruthlessly persecuted; and such pleasures as money can
purchase are suppressed so that its possessors are compelled to go
on making money because there is nothing else to do. And the compensation
for all this privation is partly an insane conceit of being the elect
of God, with a reserved seat in heaven, and partly, since even the
most infatuated idiot cannot spend his life admiring himself, the
less innocent excitement of punishing other people for not admiring
him, and the nosing out of the sins of the people who, being intelligent
enough to be incapable of mere dull self-righteousness, and highly
susceptible to the beauty and interest of the real workings of the
Holy Ghost, try to live more rational and abundant lives. The abominable
amusement of terrifying children with threats of hell is another of
these diversions, and perhaps the vilest and most mischievous of them.
The net result is that the imitators of the apostles, whether they
are called Holy Willies or Stigginses in derision, or, in admiration,
Puritans or saints, are, outside their own congregations, and to a
considerable extent inside them, heartily detested. Now nobody detests
Jesus, though many who have been tormented in their childhood in his
name include him in their general loathing of everything connected
with the word religion; whilst others, who know him only by misrepresentation
as a sentimental pacifist and an ascetic, include him in their general
dislike of that type of character. In the same way a student who has
had to {}``get up'' Shakespear as a college subject may hate Shakespear;
and people who dislike the theatre may include Moliere in that dislike
without ever having read a line of his or witnessed one of his plays;
but nobody with any knowledge of Shakespear or Moliere could possibly
detest them, or read without pity and horror a description of their
being insulted, tortured, and killed. And the same is true of Jesus.
But it requires the most strenuous effort of conscience to refrain
from crying {}``Serve him right'' when we read of the stoning of
Stephen; and nobody has ever cared twopence about the martyrdom of
Peter: many better men have died worse deaths: for example, honest
Hugh Latimer, who was burned by us, was worth fifty Stephens and a
dozen Peters. One feels at last that when Jesus called Peter from
his boat, he spoiled an honest fisherman, and made nothing better
out of the wreck than a salvation monger.


\section*{\raggedright THE CONTROVERSIES ON BAPTISM AND TRANSUBSTANTIATION.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE CONTROVERSIES ON BAPTISM \\
AND TRANSUBSTANTIATION}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Meanwhile the inevitable effect of dropping the peculiar doctrines
of Jesus and going back to John the Baptist, was to make it much easier
to convert Gentiles than Jews; and it was by following the line of
least resistance that Paul became the apostle to the Gentiles. The
Jews had their own rite of initiation: the rite of circumcision; and
they were fiercely jealous for it, because it marked them as the chosen
people of God, and set them apart from the Gentiles, who were simply
the uncircumcized. When Paul, finding that baptism made way faster
among the Gentiles than among the Jews, as it enabled them to plead
that they too were sanctified by a rite of later and higher authority
than the Mosaic rite, he was compelled to admit that circumcision
did not matter; and this, to the Jews, was an intolerable blasphemy.
To Gentiles like ourselves, a good deal of the Epistle to the Romans
is now tedious to unreadableness because it consists of a hopeless
attempt by Paul to evade the conclusion that if a man were baptized
it did not matter a rap whether he was circumcized or not. Paul claims
circumcision as an excellent thing in its way for a Jew; but if it
has no efficacy towards salvation, and if salvation is the one thing
needful\mbox{---}and Paul was committed to both propositions\mbox{---}his
pleas in mitigation only made the Jews more determined to stone him.

Thus from the very beginning of apostolic Christianity, it was hampered
by a dispute as to whether salvation was to be attained by a surgical
operation or by a sprinkling of water: mere rites on which Jesus would
not have wasted twenty words. Later on, when the new sect conquered
the Gentile west, where the dispute had no practical application,
the other ceremony\mbox{---}that of eating the god\mbox{---}produced
a still more disastrous dispute, in which a difference of belief,
not as to the obligation to perform the ceremony, but as to whether
it was a symbolic or a real ingestion of divine substance, produced
persecution, slaughter, hatred, and everything that Jesus loathed,
on a monstrous scale.

But long before that, the superstitions which had fastened on the
new faith made trouble. The parthenogenetic birth of Christ, simple
enough at first as a popular miracle, was not left so simple by the
theologians. They began to ask of what substance Christ was made in
the womb of the virgin. When the Trinity was added to the faith the
question arose, was the virgin the mother of God or only the mother
of Jesus? Arian schisms and Nestorian schisms arose on these questions;
and the leaders of the resultant agitations rancorously deposed one
another and excommunicated one another according to their luck in
enlisting the emperors on their side. In the IV century they began
to burn one another for differences of opinion in such matters. In
the VIII century Charlemagne made Christianity compulsory by killing
those who refused to embrace it; and though this made an end of the
voluntary character of conversion, Charlemagne may claim to be the
first Christian who put men to death for any point of doctrine that
really mattered. From his time onward the history of Christian controversy
reeks with blood and fire, torture and warfare. The Crusades, the
persecutions in Albi and elsewhere, the Inquisition, the {}``wars
of religion'' which followed the Reformation, all presented themselves
as Christian phenomena; but who can doubt that they would have been
repudiated with horror by Jesus? Our own notion that the massacre
of St.\ Bartholomew's was an outrage on Christianity, whilst the
campaigns of Gustavus Adolphus, and even of Frederick the Great, were
a defence of it, is as absurd as the opposite notion that Frederick
was Antichrist and Torquemada and Ignatius Loyola men after the very
heart of Jesus. Neither they nor their exploits had anything to do
with him. It is probable that Archbishop Laud and John Wesley died
equally persuaded that he in whose name they had made themselves famous
on earth would receive them in Heaven with open arms. Poor Fox the
Quaker would have had ten times their chance; and yet Fox made rather
a miserable business of life.

Nevertheless all these perversions of the doctrine of Jesus derived
their moral force from his credit, and so had to keep his gospel alive.
When the Protestants translated the Bible into the vernacular and
let it loose among the people, they did an extremely dangerous thing,
as the mischief which followed proves; but they incidentally let loose
the sayings of Jesus in open competition with the sayings of Paul
and Koheleth and David and Solomon and the authors of Job and the
Pentateuch; and, as we have seen, Jesus seems to be the winning name.
The glaring contradiction between his teaching and the practice of
all the States and all the Churches is no longer hidden. And it may
be that though nineteen centuries have passed since Jesus was born
(the date of his birth is now quaintly given as 7 B.C., though some
contend for 100 B.C.), and though his Church has not yet been founded
nor his political system tried, the bankruptcy of all the other systems
when audited by our vital statistics, which give us a final test for
all political systems, is driving us hard into accepting him, not
as a scapegoat, but as one who was much less of a fool in practical
matters than we have hitherto all thought him.


\section*{\raggedright THE ALTERNATIVE CHRISTS.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE ALTERNATIVE CHRISTS}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Let us now clear up the situation a little. The New Testament tells
two stories for two different sorts of readers. One is the old story
of the achievement of our salvation by the sacrifice and atonement
of a divine personage who was barbarously slain and rose again on
the third day: the story as it was accepted by the apostles. And in
this story the political, economic, and moral views of the Christ
have no importance: the atonement is everything; and we are saved
by our faith in it, and not by works or opinions (other than that
particular opinion) bearing on practical affairs.

The other is the story of a prophet who, after expressing several
very interesting opinions as to practical conduct, both personal and
political, which are now of pressing importance, and instructing his
disciples to carry them out in their daily life, lost his head; believed
himself to be a crude legendary form of god; and under that delusion
courted and suffered a cruel execution in the belief that he would
rise from the dead and come in glory to reign over a regenerated world.
In this form, the political, economic and moral opinions of Jesus,
as guides to conduct, are interesting and important: the rest is mere
psychopathy and superstition. The accounts of the resurrection, the
parthenogenetic birth, and the more incredible miracles are rejected
as inventions; and such episodes as the conversation with the devil
are classed with similar conversations recorded of St.\ Dunstan,
Luther, Bunyan, Swedenborg, and Blake.


\section*{\raggedright CREDULITY NO CRITERION.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{CREDULITY NO CRITERION}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

This arbitrary acceptance and rejection of parts of the gospel is
not peculiar to the Secularist view. We have seen Luke and John reject
Matthew's story of the massacre of the innocents and the flight into
Egypt without ceremony. The notion that Matthew's manuscript is a
literal and infallible record of facts, not subject to the errors
that beset all earthly chroniclers, would have made John stare, being
as it is a comparatively modern fancy of intellectually untrained
people who keep the Bible on the same shelf, with Napoleon's \emph{Book
of Fate}, Old Moore's \emph{Almanack}, and handbooks of therapeutic
herbalism. You may be a fanatical Salvationist and reject more miracle
stories than Huxley did; and you may utterly repudiate Jesus as the
Savior and yet cite him as a historical witness to the possession
by men of the most marvellous thaumaturgical powers. {}``Christ Scientist''
and Jesus the Mahatma are preached by people whom Peter would have
struck dead as worse infidels than Simon Magus; and the Atonement
is preached by Baptist and Congregationalist ministers whose views
of the miracles are those of Ingersoll and Bradlaugh. Luther, who
made a clean sweep of all the saints with their million miracles,
and reduced the Blessed Virgin herself to the status of an idol, concentrated
Salvationism to a point at which the most execrable murderer who believes
in it when the rope is round his neck, flies straight to the arms
of Jesus, whilst Tom Paine and Shelley fall into the bottomless pit
to burn there to all eternity. And sceptical physicists like Sir William
Crookes demonstrate by laboratory experiments that {}``mediums''
like Douglas Home can make the pointer of a spring-balance go round
without touching the weight suspended from it.


\section*{\raggedright BELIEF IN PERSONAL IMMORTALITY NO CRITERION.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{BELIEF IN PERSONAL IMMORTALITY NO
CRITERION}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Nor is belief in individual immortality any criterion. Theosophists,
rejecting vicarious atonement so sternly that they insist that the
smallest of our sins brings its Karma, also insist on individual immortality
and metempsychosis in order to provide an unlimited field for Karma
to be worked out by the unredeemed sinner. The belief in the prolongation
of individual life beyond the grave is far more real and vivid among
table-rapping Spiritualists than among conventional Christians. The
notion that those who reject the Christian (or any other) scheme of
salvation by atonement must reject also belief in personal immortality
and in miracles is as baseless as the notion that if a man is an atheist
he will steal your watch.

I could multiply these instances to weariness. The main difference
that set Gladstone and Huxley by the ears is not one between belief
in supernatural persons or miraculous events and the sternest view
of such belief as a breach of intellectual integrity: it is the difference
between belief in the efficacy of the crucifixion as an infallible
cure for guilt, and a congenital incapacity for believing this, or
(the same thing) desiring to believe it.


\section*{\raggedright THE SECULAR VIEW NATURAL, NOT RATIONAL, THEREFORE INEVITABLE.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE SECULAR VIEW NATURAL, NOT \\
RATIONAL, THEREFORE INEVITABLE}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

It must therefore be taken as a flat fundamental modern fact, whether
we like it or not, that whilst many of us cannot believe that Jesus
got his curious grip of our souls by mere sentimentality, neither
can we believe that he was John Barleycorn. The more our reason and
study lead us to believe that Jesus was talking the most penetrating
good sense when he preached Communism; when he declared that the reality
behind the popular belief in God was a creative spirit in ourselves,
called by him the Heavenly Father and by us Evolution, \'{E}lan Vital,
Life Force and other names; when he protested against the claims of
marriage and the family to appropriate that high part of our energy
that was meant for the service of his Father, the more impossible
it becomes for us to believe that he was talking equally good sense
when he so suddenly announced that he was himself a visible concrete
God; that his flesh and blood were miraculous food for us; that he
must be tortured and slain in the traditional manner and would rise
from the dead after three days; and that at his second coming the
stars would fall from heaven and he become king of an earthly paradise.
But it is easy and reasonable to believe that an overwrought preacher
at last went mad as Swift and Ruskin and Nietzsche went mad. Every
asylum has in it a patient suffering from the delusion that he is
a god, yet otherwise sane enough. These patients do not nowadays declare
that they will be barbarously slain and will rise from the dead, because
they have lost that tradition of the destiny of godhead; but they
claim everything appertaining to divinity that is within their knowledge.

Thus the gospels as memoirs and suggestive statements of sociological
and biological doctrine, highly relevant to modern civilization, though
ending in the history of a psycopathic delusion, are quite credible,
intelligible, and interesting to modern thinkers. In any other light
they are neither credible, intelligible, nor interesting except to
people upon whom the delusion imposes.


\section*{\raggedright {}``THE HIGHER CRITICISM.''}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{``THE HIGHER CRITICISM''}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Historical research and paleographic criticism will no doubt continue
their demonstrations that the New Testament, like the Old, seldom
tells a single story or expounds a single doctrine, and gives us often
an accretion and conglomeration of widely discrete and even unrelated
traditions and doctrines. But these disintegrations, though technically
interesting to scholars, and gratifying or exasperating, as the case
may be, to people who are merely defending or attacking the paper
fortifications of the infallibility of the Bible, have hardly anything
to do with the purpose of these pages. I have mentioned the fact that
most of the authorities are now agreed (for the moment) that the date
of the birth of Jesus may be placed at about 7 B.C.; but they do not
therefore date their letters 1923, nor, I presume, do they expect
me to do so. What I am engaged in is a criticism (in the Kantian sense)
of an established body of belief which has become an actual part of
the mental fabric of my readers; and I should be the most exasperating
of triflers and pedants if I were to digress into a criticism of some
other belief or no-belief which my readers might conceivably profess
if they were erudite Scriptural paleographers and historians, in which
case, by the way, they would have to change their views so frequently
that the gospel they received in their childhood would dominate them
after all by its superior persistency. The chaos of mere facts in
which the Sermon on the Mount and the Ode to Charity suggest nothing
but disputes as to whether they are interpolations or not, in which
Jesus becomes nothing but a name suspected of belonging to ten different
prophets or executed persons, in which Paul is only the man who could
not possibly have written the epistles attributed to him, in which
Chinese sages, Greek philosophers, Latin authors, and writers of ancient
anonymous inscriptions are thrown at our heads as the sources of this
or that scrap of the Bible, is neither a religion nor a criticism
of religion: one does not offer the fact that a good deal of the medieval
building in Peterborough Cathedral was found to be flagrant jerry-building
as a criticism of the Dean's sermons. For good or evil, we have made
a synthesis out of the literature we call the Bible; and though the
discovery that there is a good deal of jerry-building in the Bible
is interesting in its way, because everything about the Bible is interesting,
it does not alter the synthesis very materially even for the paleographers,
and does not alter it at all for those who know no more about modern
paleography than Archbishop Ussher did. I have therefore indicated
little more of the discoveries than Archbishop Ussher might have guessed
for himself if he had read the Bible without prepossessions.

For the rest, I have taken the synthesis as it really lives and works
in men. After all, a synthesis is what you want: it is the case you
have to judge brought to an apprehensible issue for you. Even if you
have little more respect for synthetic biography than for synthetic
rubber, synthetic milk, and the still unachieved synthetic protoplasm
which is to enable us to make different sorts of men as a pastry cook
makes different sorts of tarts, the practical issue still lies as
plainly before you as before the most credulous votaries of what pontificates
as the Higher Criticism.


\section*{\raggedright THE PERILS OF SALVATIONISM.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE PERILS OF SALVATIONISM}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

The secular view of Jesus is powerfully reinforced by the increase
in our day of the number of people who have had the means of educating
and training themselves to the point at which they are not afraid
to look facts in the face, even such terrifying facts as sin and death.
The result is greater sternness in modern thought. The conviction
is spreading that to encourage a man to believe that though his sins
be as scarlet he can be made whiter than snow by an easy exercise
of self-conceit, is to encourage him to be a rascal. It did not work
so badly when you could also conscientiously assure him that if he
let himself be caught napping in the matter of faith by death, a red-hot
hell would roast him alive to all eternity. In those days a sudden
death\mbox{---}the most enviable of all deaths\mbox{---}was regarded
as the most frightful calamity. It was classed with plague, pestilence,
and famine, battle and murder, in our prayers. But belief in that
hell is fast vanishing. All the leaders of thought have lost it; and
even for the rank and file it has fled to those parts of Ireland and
Scotland which are still in the XVII century. Even there, it is tacitly
reserved for the other fellow.


\section*{\raggedright THE IMPORTANCE OF HELL IN THE SALVATION SCHEME.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE IMPORTANCE OF HELL IN \\
THE SALVATION SCHEME}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

The seriousness of throwing over hell whilst still clinging to the
Atonement is obvious. If there is no punishment for sin there can
be no self-forgiveness for it. If Christ paid our score, and if there
is no hell and therefore no chance of our getting into trouble by
forgetting the obligation, then we can be as wicked as we like with
impunity inside the secular law, even from self-reproach, which becomes
mere ingratitude to the Savior. On the other hand, if Christ did not
pay our score, it still stands against us; and such debts make us
extremely uncomfortable. The drive of evolution, which we call conscience
and honor, seizes on such slips, and shames us to the dust for being
so low in the scale as to be capable of them. The {}``saved'' thief
experiences an ecstatic happiness which can never come to the honest
atheist: he is tempted to steal again to repeat the glorious sensation.
But if the atheist steals he has no such happiness. He is a thief
and knows that he is a thief. Nothing can rub that off him. He may
try to sooth his shame by some sort of restitution or equivalent act
of benevolence; but that does not alter the fact that he did steal;
and his conscience will not be easy until he has conquered his will
to steal and changed himself into an honest man by developing that
divine spark within him which Jesus insisted on as the everyday reality
of what the atheist denies.

Now though the state of the believers in the atonement may thus be
the happier, it is most certainly not more desirable from the point
of view of the community. The fact that a believer is happier than
a sceptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man
is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap
and dangerous quality of happiness, and by no means a necessity of
life. Whether Socrates got as much happiness out of life as Wesley
is an unanswerable question; but a nation of Socrateses would be much
safer and happier than a nation of Wesleys; and its individuals would
be higher in the evolutionary scale. At all events it is in the Socratic
man and not in the Wesleyan that our hope lies now.


\section*{\raggedright THE RIGHT TO REFUSE ATONEMENT.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE RIGHT TO REFUSE ATONEMENT}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Consequently, even if it were mentally possible for all of us to believe
in the Atonement, we should have to cry off it, as we evidently have
a right to do. Every man to whom salvation is offered has an inalienable
natural right to say {}``No, thank you: I prefer to retain my full
moral responsibility: it is not good for me to be able to load a scapegoat
with my sins: I should be less careful how I committed them if I knew
they would cost me nothing.'' Then, too, there is the attitude of
Ibsen: that iron moralist to whom the whole scheme of salvation was
only an ignoble attempt to cheat God; to get into heaven without paying
the price. To be let off, to beg for and accept eternal life as a
present instead of earning it, would be mean enough even if we accepted
the contempt of the Power on whose pity we were trading; but to bargain
for a crown of glory as well! that was too much for Ibsen: it provoked
him to exclaim, {}``Your God is an old man whom you cheat,'' and
to lash the deadened conscience of the XIX century back to life with
a whip of scorpions.


\section*{\raggedright THE TEACHING OF CHRISTIANITY.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{THE TEACHING OF CHRISTIANITY}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

And there I must leave the matter to such choice as your nature allows
you. The honest teacher who has to make known to a novice the facts
about Christianity cannot in any essential regard, I think, put the
facts otherwise than as I have put them. If children are to be delivered
from the proselytizing atheist on the one hand, and the proselytizing
nun in the convent school on the other, with all the other proselytizers
that lie between them, they must not be burdened with idle controversies
as to whether there was ever such a person as Jesus or not. When Hume
said that Joshua's campaigns were impossible, Whately did not wrangle
about it: he proved, on the same lines, that the campaigns of Napoleon
were impossible. Only fictitious characters will stand Hume's sort
of examination: nothing will ever make Edward the Confessor and St.\ Louis
as real to us as Don Quixote and Mr.\ Pickwick. We must cut the controversy
short by declaring that there is the same evidence for the existence
of Jesus as for that of any other person of his time; and the fact
that you may not believe everything Matthew tells you no more disproves
the existence of Jesus than the fact that you do not believe everything
Macaulay tells you disproves the existence of William III. The gospel
narratives in the main give you a biography which is quite credible
and accountable on purely secular grounds when you have trimmed off
everything that Hume or Grimm or Rousseau or Huxley or any modern
bishop could reject as fanciful. Without going further than this,
you can become a follower of Jesus just as you can become a follower
of Confucius or Lao Tse, and may therefore call yourself a Jesuist,
or even a Christian, if you hold, as the strictest Secularist quite
legitimately may, that all prophets are inspired, and all men with
a mission, Christs.

The teacher of Christianity has then to make known to the child, first
the song of John Barleycorn, with the fields and seasons as witness
to its eternal truth. Then, as the child's mind matures, it can learn,
as historical and psychological phenomena, the tradition of the scapegoat,
the Redeemer, the Atonement, the Resurrection, the Second Coming,
and how, in a world saturated with this tradition, Jesus has been
largely accepted as the long expected and often prophesied Redeemer,
the Messiah, the Christ. It is open to the child also to accept him.
If the child is built like Gladstone, he will accept Jesus as his
Savior, and Peter and John the Baptist as the Savior's revealer and
forerunner respectively. If he is built like Huxley, he will take
the secular view, in spite of all that a pious family can do to prevent
him. The important thing now is that the Gladstones and Huxleys should
no longer waste their time irrelevantly and ridiculously wrangling
about the Gadarene swine, and that they should make up their minds
as to the soundness of the secular doctrines of Jesus; for it is about
these that they may come to blows in our own time.


\section*{\raggedright CHRISTIANITY AND THE EMPIRE.}

\addcontentsline{toc}{section}{CHRISTIANITY AND THE EMPIRE}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PREFACE}

Finally, let us ask why it is that the old superstitions have so suddenly
lost countenance that although, to the utter disgrace of the nation's
leaders and rulers, the laws by which persecutors can destroy or gag
all freedom of thought and speech in these matters are still unrepealed
and ready to the hand of our bigots and fanatics (quite recently a
respectable shopkeeper was convicted of {}``blasphemy'' for saying
that if a modern girl accounted for an illicit pregnancy by saying
she had conceived of the Holy Ghost, we should know what to think:
a remark which would never have occurred to him had he been properly
taught how the story was grafted on the gospel), yet somehow they
are used only against poor men, and that only in a half-hearted way.
When we consider that from the time when the first scholar ventured
to whisper as a professional secret that the Pentateuch could not
possibly have been written by Moses to the time within my own recollection
when Bishop Colenso, for saying the same thing openly, was inhibited
from preaching and actually excommunicated, eight centuries elapsed
(the point at issue, though technically interesting to paleographers
and historians, having no more bearing on human welfare than the controversy
as to whether uncial or cursive is the older form of writing); yet
now, within fifty years of Colenso's heresy, there is not a Churchman
of any authority living, or an educated layman, who could without
ridicule declare that Moses wrote the Pentateuch as Pascal wrote his
\emph{Thoughts} or D'Aubigny his \emph{History of the Reformation},
or that St.\ Jerome wrote the passage about the three witnesses in
the Vulgate, or that there are less than three different accounts
of the creation jumbled together in the book of Genesis. Now the maddest
Progressive will hardly contend that our growth in wisdom and liberality
has been greater in the last half century than in the sixteen half
centuries preceding: indeed it would be easier to sustain the thesis
that the last fifty years have witnessed a distinct reaction from
Victorian Liberalism to Collectivism which has perceptibly strengthened
the State Churches. Yet the fact remains that whereas Byron's \emph{Cain},
published a century ago, is a leading case on the point that there
is no copyright in a blasphemous book, the Salvation Army might now
include it among its publications without shocking anyone.

I suggest that the causes which have produced this sudden clearing
of the air include the transformation of many modern States, notably
the old self-contained French Republic and the tight little Island
of Britain, into empires which overflow the frontiers of all the Churches.
In India, for example, there are less than four million Christians
out of a population of three hundred and sixteen and a half millions.
The King of England is the defender of the faith; but what faith is
now \emph{the} faith? The inhabitants of this island would, within
the memory of persons still living, have claimed that their faith
is surely the faith of God, and that all others are heathen. But we
islanders are only forty-five millions; and if we count ourselves
all as Christians, there are still seventy-seven and a quarter million
Mahometans in the Empire. Add to these the Hindoos and Buddhists,
Sikhs and Jains, whom I was taught in my childhood, by way of religious
instruction, to regard as gross idolators consigned to eternal perdition,
but whose faith I can now be punished for disparaging by a provocative
word, and you have a total of over three hundred and forty-two and
a quarter million heretics to swamp our forty-five million Britons,
of whom, by the way, only six thousand call themselves distinctively
{}``disciples of Christ,'' the rest being members of the Church
of England and other denominations whose discipleship is less emphatically
affirmed. In short, the Englishman of today, instead of being, like
the forefathers whose ideas he clings to, a subject of a State practically
wholly Christian, is now crowded, and indeed considerably overcrowded,
into a corner of an Empire in which the Christians are a mere eleven
per cent of the population; so that the Nonconformist who allows his
umbrella stand to be sold up rather than pay rates towards the support
of a Church of England school, finds himself paying taxes not only
to endow the Church of Rome in Malta, but to send Christians to prison
for the blasphemy of offering Bibles for sale in the streets of Khartoum.
Turn to France, a country ten times more insular in its pre-occupation
with its own language, its own history, its own character, than we,
who have always been explorers and colonizers and grumblers. This
once self-centred nation is forty millions strong. The total population
of the French Republic is about one hundred and fourteen millions.
The French are not in our hopeless Christian minority of eleven per
cent; but they are in a minority of thirty-five per cent, which is
fairly conclusive. And, being a more logical people than we, they
have officially abandoned Christianity and declared that the French
State has no specific religion.

Neither has the British State, though it does not say so. No doubt
there are many innocent people in England who take Charlemagne's view,
and would, as a matter of course, offer our eighty-nine per cent of
{}``pagans, I regret to say'' the alternative of death or Christianity
but for a vague impression that these lost ones are all being converted
gradually by the missionaries. But no statesman can entertain such
ludicrously parochial delusions. No English king or French president
can possibly govern on the assumption that the theology of Peter and
Paul, Luther and Calvin, has any objective validity, or that the Christ
is more than the Buddha, or Jehovah more than Krishna, or Jesus more
or less human than Mahomet or Zoroaster or Confucius. He is actually
compelled, in so far as he makes laws against blasphemy at all, to
treat all the religions, including Christianity, as blasphemous, when
paraded before people who are not accustomed to them and do not want
them. And even that is a concession to a mischievous intolerance which
an empire should use its control of education to eradicate.

On the other hand, Governments cannot really divest themselves of
religion, or even of dogma. When Jesus said that people should not
only live but live more abundantly, he was dogmatizing; and many Pessimist
sages, including Shakespear, whose hero begged his friend to refrain
from suicide in the words {}``Absent thee from felicity awhile,''
would say dogmatizing very perniciously. Indeed many preachers and
saints declare, some of them in the name of Jesus himself, that this
world is a vale of tears, and that our lives had better be passed
in sorrow and even in torment, as a preparation for a better life
to come. Make these sad people comfortable; and they baffle you by
putting on hair shirts. None the less, governments must proceed on
dogmatic assumptions, whether they call them dogmas or not; and they
must clearly be assumptions common enough to stamp those who reject
them as eccentrics or lunatics. And the greater and more heterogeneous
the population the commoner the assumptions must be. A Trappist monastery
can be conducted on assumptions which would in twenty-fours hours
provoke the village at its gates to insurrection. That is because
the monastery selects its people; and if a Trappist does not like
it he can leave it. But a subject of the British Empire or the French
Republic is not selected; and if he does not like it he must lump
it; for emigration is practicable only within narrow limits, and seldom
provides an effective remedy, all civilizations being now much alike.
To anyone capable of comprehending government at all it must be evident
without argument that the set of fundamental assumptions drawn up
in the thirty-nine articles or in the Westminster Confession are wildly
impossible as political constitutions for modern empires. A personal
profession of them by any person disposed to take such professions
seriously would practically disqualify him for high imperial office.
A Calvinist Viceroy of India and a Particular Baptist Secretary of
State for Foreign Affairs would wreck the empire. The Stuarts wrecked
even the tight little island which was the nucleus of the empire by
their Scottish logic and theological dogma; and it may be sustained
very plausibly that the alleged aptitude of the English for self-government,
which is contradicted by every chapter of their history, is really
only an incurable inaptitude for theology, and indeed for co-ordinated
thought in any direction, which makes them equally impatient of systematic
despotism and systematic good government: their history being that
of a badly governed and accidentally free people (comparatively).
Thus our success in colonizing, as far as it has not been produced
by exterminating the natives, has been due to our indifference to
the salvation of our subjects. Ireland is the exception which proves
the rule; for Ireland, the standing instance of the inability of the
English to colonize without extermination of natives, is also the
one country under British rule in which the conquerors and colonizers
proceeded on the assumption that their business was to establish Protestantism
as well as to make money and thereby secure at least the lives of
the unfortunate inhabitants out of whose labor it could be made. At
this moment Ulster is refusing to accept fellow-citizenship with the
other Irish provinces because the south believes in St.\ Peter and
Bossuet, and the north in St. Paul and Calvin. Imagine the effect
of trying to govern India or Egypt from Belfast or from the Vatican!

The position is perhaps graver for France than for England, because
the sixty-five per cent of French subjects who are neither French
nor Christian nor Modernist includes some thirty millions of negroes
who are susceptible, and indeed highly susceptible, of conversion
to those salvationist forms of pseudo-Christianity which have produced
all the persecutions and religious wars of the last fifteen hundred
years. When the late explorer Sir Henry Stanley told me of the emotional
grip which Christianity had over the Baganda tribes, and read me their
letters, which were exactly like medieval letters in their literal
faith and everpresent piety, I said {}``Can these men handle a rifle?''
To which Stanley replied with some scorn {}``Of course they can,
as well as any white man.'' Now at this moment (1915) a vast European
war is being waged, in which the French are using Senegalese soldiers.
I ask the French Government, which, like our own Government, is deliberately
leaving the religious instruction of these negroes in the hands of
missions of Petrine Catholics and Pauline Calvinists, whether they
have considered the possibility of a new series of crusades, by ardent
African Salvationists, to rescue Paris from the grip of the modern
scientific {}``infidel,'' and to raise the cry of {}``Back to the
Apostles: back to Charlemagne!''

We are more fortunate in that an overwhelming majority of our subjects
are Hindoos, Mahometans and Buddhists: that is, they have, as a prophylactic
against salvationist Christianity, highly civilized religions of their
own. Mahometanism, which Napoleon at the end of his career classed
as perhaps the best popular religion for modern political use, might
in some respects have arisen as a reformed Christianity if Mahomet
had had to deal with a population of seventeenth-century Christians
instead of Arabs who worshipped stones. As it is, men do not reject
Mahomet for Calvin; and to offer a Hindoo so crude a theology as ours
in exchange for his own, or our Jewish canonical literature as an
improvement on Hindoo scripture, is to offer old lamps for older ones
in a market where the oldest lamps, like old furniture in England,
are the most highly valued.

Yet, I repeat, government is impossible without a religion: that is,
without a body of common assumptions. The open mind never acts: when
we have done our utmost to arrive at a reasonable conclusion, we still,
when we can reason and investigate no more, must close our minds for
the moment with a snap, and act dogmatically on our conclusions. The
man who waits to make an entirely reasonable will dies intestate.
A man so reasonable as to have an open mind about theft and murder,
or about the need for food and reproduction, might just as well be
a fool and a scoundrel for any use he could be as a legislator or
a State official. The modern pseudo-democratic statesman, who says
that he is only in power to carry out the will of the people, and
moves only as the cat jumps, is clearly a political and intellectual
brigand. The rule of the negative man who has no convictions means
in practice the rule of the positive mob. Freedom of conscience as
Cromwell used the phrase is an excellent thing; nevertheless if any
man had proposed to give effect to freedom of conscience as to cannibalism
in England, Cromwell would have laid him by the heels almost as promptly
as he would have laid a Roman Catholic, though in Fiji at the same
moment he would have supported heartily the freedom of conscience
of a vegetarian who disparaged the sacred diet of Long Pig.

Here then come in the importance of the repudiation by Jesus of proselytism.
His rule {}``Don't pull up the tares: sow the wheat: if you try to
pull up the tares you will pull up the wheat with it'' is the only
possible rule for a statesman governing a modern empire, or a voter
supporting such a statesman. There is nothing in the teaching of Jesus
that cannot be assented to by a Brahman, a Mahometan, a Buddhist or
a Jew, without any question of their conversion to Christianity. In
some ways it is easier to reconcile a Mahometan to Jesus than a British
parson, because the idea of a professional priest is unfamiliar and
even monstrous to a Mahometan (the tourist who persists in asking
who is the dean of St.\ Sophia puzzles beyond words the sacristan
who lends him a huge pair of slippers); and Jesus never suggested
that his disciples should separate themselves from the laity: he picked
them up by the wayside, where any man or woman might follow him. For
priests he had not a civil word; and they showed their sense of his
hostility by getting him killed as soon as possible. He was, in short,
a thoroughgoing anti-Clerical. And though, as we have seen, it is
only by political means that his doctrine can be put into practice,
he not only never suggested a sectarian theocracy as a form of Government,
and would certainly have prophesied the downfall of the late President
Kruger if he had survived to his time, but, when challenged, he refused
to teach his disciples not to pay tribute to C\ae{}sar, admitting
that C\ae{}sar, who presumably had the kingdom of heaven within him
as much as any disciple, had his place in the scheme of things. Indeed
the apostles made this an excuse for carrying subservience to the
State to a pitch of idolatry that ended in the theory of the divine
right of kings, and provoked men to cut kings' heads off to restore
some sense of proportion in the matter. Jesus certainly did not consider
the overthrow of the Roman empire or the substitution of a new ecclesiastical
organization for the Jewish Church or for the priesthood of the Roman
gods as part of his program. He said that God was better than Mammon;
but he never said that Tweedledum was better than Tweedledee; and
that is why it is now possible for British citizens and statesmen
to follow Jesus, though they cannot possibly follow either Tweedledum
or Tweedledee without bringing the empire down with a crash on their
heads. And at that I must leave it.

\noindent \begin{center}\noun{London, December 1915.}\end{center}


\chapter*{\raggedright PROLOGUE}

\addcontentsline{toc}{chapter}{PROLOGUE}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{PROLOGUE}

\emph{Overture; forest sounds, roaring of lions, Christian hymn faintly.}

\emph{A jungle path. A lion's roar, a melancholy suffering roar, comes
from the jungle. It is repeated nearer. The lion limps from the jungle
on three legs, holding up his right forepaw, in which a huge thorn
sticks. He sits down and contemplates it. He licks it. He shakes it.
He tries to extract it by scraping it along the ground, and hurts
himself worse. He roars piteously. He licks it again. Tears drop from
his eyes. He limps painfully off the path and lies down under the
trees, exhausted with pain. Heaving a long sigh, like wind in a trombone,
he goes to sleep.}

\emph{Androcles and his wife Megaera come along the path. He is a
small, thin, ridiculous little man who might be any age from thirty
to fifty-five. He has sandy hair, watery compassionate blue eyes,
sensitive nostrils, and a very presentable forehead; but his good
points go no further; his arms and legs and back, though wiry of their
kind, look shrivelled and starved. He carries a big bundle, is very
poorly clad, and seems tired and hungry.}

\emph{His wife is a rather handsome pampered slattern, well fed and
in the prime of life. She has nothing to carry, and has a stout stick
to help her along.}

MEGAERA {[}\emph{suddenly throwing down her stick}{]} I won't go another
step.

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{pleading wearily}{]} Oh, not again, dear. What's
the good of stopping every two miles and saying you won't go another
step? We must get on to the next village before night. There are wild
beasts in this wood: lions, they say.

MEGAERA. I don't believe a word of it. You are always threatening
me with wild beasts to make me walk the very soul out of my body when
I can hardly drag one foot before another. We haven't seen a single
lion yet.

ANDROCLES. Well, dear, do you want to see one?

MEGAERA {[}\emph{tearing the bundle from his back}{]} You cruel beast,
you don't care how tired I am, or what becomes of me {[}\emph{she
throws the bundle on the ground}{]}: always thinking of yourself.
Self! self! self! always yourself! {[}\emph{She sits down on the bundle}{]}.

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{sitting down sadly on the ground with his elbows
on his knees and his head in his hands}{]} We all have to think of
ourselves occasionally, dear.

MEGAERA. A man ought to think of his wife sometimes.

ANDROCLES. He can't always help it, dear. You make me think of you
a good deal. Not that I blame you.

MEGAERA. Blame me! I should think not indeed. Is it my fault that
I'm married to you?

ANDROCLES. No, dear: that is my fault.

MEGAERA. That's a nice thing to say to me. Aren't you happy with me?

ANDROCLES. I don't complain, my love.

MEGAERA. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

ANDROCLES. I am, my dear.

MEGAERA. You're not: you glory in it.

ANDROCLES. In what, darling?

MEGAERA. In everything. In making me a slave, and making yourself
a laughing-stock. Its not fair. You get me the name of being a shrew
with your meek ways, always talking as if butter wouldn't melt in
your mouth. And just because I look a big strong woman, and because
I'm good-hearted and a bit hasty, and because you're always driving
me to do things I'm sorry for afterwards, people say {}``Poor man:
what a life his wife leads him!'' Oh, if they only knew! And you
think I don't know. But I do, I do, {[}\emph{screaming}{]} I do.

ANDROCLES. Yes, my dear: I know you do.

MEGAERA. Then why don't you treat me properly and be a good husband
to me?

ANDROCLES. What can I do, my dear?

MEGAERA. What can you do! You can return to your duty, and come back
to your home and your friends, and sacrifice to the gods as all respectable
people do, instead of having us hunted out of house and home for being
dirty, disreputable, blaspheming atheists.

ANDROCLES. I'm not an atheist, dear: I am a Christian.

MEGAERA. Well, isn't that the same thing, only ten times worse? Everybody
knows that the Christians are the very lowest of the low.

ANDROCLES. Just like us, dear.

MEGAERA. Speak for yourself. Don't you dare to compare me to common
people. My father owned his own public-house; and sorrowful was the
day for me when you first came drinking in our bar.

ANDROCLES. I confess I was addicted to it, dear. But I gave it up
when I became a Christian.

MEGAERA. You'd much better have remained a drunkard. I can forgive
a man being addicted to drink: its only natural; and I don't deny
I like a drop myself sometimes. What I can't stand is your being addicted
to Christianity. And what's worse again, your being addicted to animals.
How is any woman to keep her house clean when you bring in every stray
cat and lost cur and lame duck in the whole countryside? You took
the bread out of my mouth to feed them: you know you did: don't attempt
to deny it.

ANDROCLES. Only when they were hungry and you were getting too stout,
dearie.

MEGAERA. Yes, insult me, do.\ {[}\emph{Rising}{]} Oh! I won't bear
it another moment. You used to sit and talk to those dumb brute beasts
for hours, when you hadn't a word for me.

ANDROCLES. They never answered back, darling.\ {[}\emph{He rises
and again shoulders the bundle}{]}.

MEGAERA. Well, if you're fonder of animals than of your own wife,
you can live with them here in the jungle. I've had enough of them
and enough of you. I'm going back. I'm going home.

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{barring the way back}{]} No, dearie: don't take
on like that. We can't go back. We've sold everything: we should starve;
and I should be sent to Rome and thrown to the lions\mbox{---}

MEGAERA. Serve you right! I wish the lions joy of you. {[}\emph{Screaming}{]}
Are you going to get out of my way and let me go home?

ANDROCLES. No, dear\mbox{---}

MEGAERA. Then I'll make my way through the forest; and when I'm eaten
by the wild beasts you'll know what a wife you've lost. {[}\emph{She
dashes into the jungle and nearly falls over the sleeping lion}{]}.
Oh! Oh! Andy! Andy! {[}\emph{She totters back and collapses into the
arms of Androcles, who, crushed by her weight, falls on his bundle}{]}.

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{extracting himself from beneath her and slapping
her hands in great anxiety}{]} What is it, my precious, my pet? What's
the matter? {[}\emph{He raises her head. Speechless with terror, she
points in the direction of the sleeping lion. He steals cautiously
towards the spot indicated by Megaera. She rises with an effort and
totters after him}{]}.

MEGAERA. No, Andy: you'll be killed. Come back.

\emph{The lion utters a long snoring sigh. Androcles sees the lion
and recoils fainting into the arms of Megaera, who falls back on the
bundle. They roll apart and lie staring in terror at one another.
The lion is heard groaning heavily in the jungle.}

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{whispering}{]} Did you see? A lion.

MEGAERA {[}\emph{despairing}{]} The gods have sent him to punish us
because you're a Christian. Take me away, Andy. Save me.

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{rising}{]} Meggy: there's one chance for you. It'll
take him pretty nigh twenty minutes to eat me (I'm rather stringy
and tough) and you can escape in less time than that.

MEGAERA. Oh, don't talk about eating.\ {[}\emph{The lion rises with
a great groan and limps towards them}{]}. Oh! {[}\emph{She faints}{]}.

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{quaking, but keeping between the lion and Megaera}{]}
Don't you come near my wife, do you hear? {[}\emph{The lion groans.
Androcles can hardly stand for trembling}{]}. Meggy: run. Run for
your life. If I take my eye off him, its all up. {[}\emph{The lion
holds up his wounded paw and flaps it piteously before Androcles}{]}.
Oh, he's lame, poor old chap! He's got a thorn in his paw. A frightfully
big thorn. {[}\emph{Full of sympathy}{]} Oh, poor old man! Did um
get an awful thorn into um's tootsums wootsums? Has it made um too
sick to eat a nice little Christian man for um's breakfast? Oh, a
nice little Christian man will get um's thorn out for um; and then
um shall eat the nice Christian man and the nice Christian man's nice
big tender wifey pifey. {[}\emph{The lion responds by moans of self-pity}{]}.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Now, now {[}\emph{taking the paw in his hand}{]}
um is not to bite and not to scratch, not even if it hurts a very,
very little. Now make velvet paws. That's right. {[}\emph{He pulls
gingerly at the thorn. The lion, with an angry yell of pain, jerks
back his paw so abruptly that Androcles is thrown on his back}{]}.
Steadeee! Oh, did the nasty cruel little Christian man hurt the sore
paw? {[}\emph{The lion moans assentingly but apologetically}{]}. Well,
one more little pull and it will be all over. Just one little, little,
leetle pull; and then um will live happily ever after. {[}\emph{He
gives the thorn another pull. The lion roars and snaps his jaws with
a terrifying clash}{]}. Oh, mustn't frighten um's good kind doctor,
um's affectionate nursey. That didn't hurt at all: not a bit. Just
one more. Just to show how the brave big lion can bear pain, not like
the little crybaby Christian man. Oopsh! {[}\emph{The thorn comes
out. The lion yells with pain, and shakes his paw wildly}{]}. That's
it! {[}\emph{Holding up the thorn}{]}. Now it's out. Now lick um's
paw to take away the nasty inflammation. See? {[}\emph{He licks his
own hand. The lion nods intelligently and licks his paw industriously}{]}.
Clever little liony-piony! Understands um's dear old friend Andy Wandy.
{[}\emph{The lion licks his face}{]}. Yes, kissums Andy Wandy. {[}\emph{The
lion, wagging his tail violently, rises on his hind legs and embraces
Androcles, who makes a wry face and cries}{]} Velvet paws! Velvet
paws! {[}\emph{The lion draws in his claws}{]}. That's right. {[}\emph{He
embraces the lion, who finally takes the end of his tail in one paw,
places that tight around Androcles' waist, resting it on his hip.
Androcles takes the other paw in his hand, stretches out his arm,
and the two waltz rapturously round and round and finally away through
the jungle}{]}.

MEGAERA {[}\emph{who has revived during the waltz}{]} Oh, you coward,
you haven't danced with me for years; and now you go off dancing with
a great brute beast that you haven't known for ten minutes and that
wants to eat your own wife. Coward! Coward! Coward! {[}\emph{She rushes
off after them into the jungle}{]}.


\chapter*{\raggedright ACT I}

\addcontentsline{toc}{chapter}{ACT I}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{ACT I}

\emph{Evening. The end of three converging roads to Rome. Three triumphal
arches span them where they debouch on a square at the gate of the
city. Looking north through the arches one can see the campagna threaded
by the three long dusty tracks. On the east and west sides of the
square are long stone benches. An old beggar sits on the east side
of the square, his bowl at his feet. Through the eastern arch a squad
of Roman soldiers tramps along escorting a batch of Christian prisoners
of both sexes and all ages, among them one Lavinia, a goodlooking
resolute young woman, apparently of higher social standing than her
fellow-prisoners. A centurion, carrying his vinewood cudgel, trudges
alongside the squad, on its right, in command of it. All are tired
and dusty; but the soldiers are dogged and indifferent, the Christians
light-hearted and determined to treat their hardships as a joke and
encourage one another.}

\emph{A bugle is heard far behind on the road, where the rest of the
cohort is following.}

CENTURION {[}\emph{stopping}{]} Halt! Orders from the Captain. {[}\emph{They
halt and wait}{]}. Now then, you Christians, none of your larks. The
captain's coming. Mind you behave yourselves. No singing. Look respectful.
Look serious, if you're capable of it. See that big building over
there? That's the Coliseum. That's where you'll be thrown to the lions
or set to fight the gladiators presently. Think of that; and it'll
help you to behave properly before the captain. {[}\emph{The Captain
arrives}{]}. Attention! Salute! {[}The soldiers salute{]}.

A CHRISTIAN {[}\emph{cheerfully}{]} God bless you, Captain.

THE CENTURION {[}\emph{scandalised}{]} Silence!

\emph{The Captain, a patrician, handsome, about thirty-five, very
cold and distinguished, very superior and authoritative, steps up
on a stone seat at the west side of the square, behind the centurion,
so as to dominate the others more effectually.}

THE CAPTAIN. Centurion.

THE CENTURION. {[}\emph{standing at attention and saluting}{]} Sir?

THE CAPTAIN {[}\emph{speaking stiffly and officially}{]} You will
remind your men, Centurion, that we are now entering Rome. You will
instruct them that once inside the gates of Rome they are in the presence
of the Emperor. You will make them understand that the lax discipline
of the march cannot be permitted here. You will instruct them to shave
every day, not every week. You will impress on them particularly that
there must be an end to the profanity and blasphemy of singing Christian
hymns on the march. I have to reprimand you, Centurion, for not only
allowing this, but actually doing it yourself.

THE CENTURION. The men march better, Captain.

THE CAPTAIN. No doubt. For that reason an exception is made in the
case of the march called Onward Christian Soldiers. This may be sung,
except when marching through the forum or within hearing of the Emperor's
palace; but the words must be altered to {}``Throw them to the Lions.''

\emph{The Christians burst into shrieks of uncontrollable laughter,
to the great scandal of the Centurion.}

CENTURION. Silence! Silen-n-n-n-nce! Where's your behavior? Is that
the way to listen to an officer? {[}\emph{To the Captain}{]} That's
what we have to put up with from these Christians every day, sir.
They're always laughing and joking something scandalous. They've no
religion: that's how it is.

LAVINIA. But I think the Captain meant us to laugh, Centurion. It
was so funny.

CENTURION. You'll find out how funny it is when you're thrown to the
lions to-morrow. {[}\emph{To the Captain, who looks displeased}{]}
Beg pardon, Sir. {[}\emph{To the Christians}{]} Silennnnce!

THE CAPTAIN. You are to instruct your men that all intimacy with Christian
prisoners must now cease. The men have fallen into habits of dependence
upon the prisoners, especially the female prisoners, for cooking,
repairs to uniforms, writing letters, and advice in their private
affairs. In a Roman soldier such dependence is inadmissible. Let me
see no more of it whilst we are in the city. Further, your orders
are that in addressing Christian prisoners, the manners and tone of
your men must express abhorrence and contempt. Any shortcoming in
this respect will be regarded as a breach of discipline. {[}\emph{He
turns to the prisoners}{]} Prisoners.

CENTURION {[}\emph{fiercely}{]} Prisonerrrrrs! Tention! Silence!

THE CAPTAIN. I call your attention, prisoners, to the fact that you
may be called on to appear in the Imperial Circus at any time from
tomorrow onwards according to the requirements of the managers. I
may inform you that as there is a shortage of Christians just now,
you may expect to be called on very soon.

LAVINIA. What will they do to us, Captain?

CENTURION. Silence!

THE CAPTAIN. The women will be conducted into the arena with the wild
beasts of the Imperial Menagerie, and will suffer the consequences.
The men, if of an age to bear arms, will be given weapons to defend
themselves, if they choose, against the Imperial Gladiators.

LAVINIA. Captain: is there no hope that this cruel persecution\mbox{---}

CENTURION {[}\emph{shocked}{]} Silence! Hold your tongue, there. Persecution,
indeed!

THE CAPTAIN {[}\emph{unmoved and somewhat sardonic}{]} Persecution
is not a term applicable to the acts of the Emperor. The Emperor is
the Defender of the Faith. In throwing you to the lions he will be
upholding the interests of religion in Rome. If you were to throw
him to the lions, that would no doubt be persecution.

\emph{The Christians again laugh heartily.}

CENTURION {[}\emph{horrified}{]} Silence, I tell you! Keep silence
there. Did anyone ever hear the like of this?

LAVINIA. Captain: there will be nobody to appreciate your jokes when
we are gone.

THE CAPTAIN {[}\emph{unshaken in his official delivery}{]} I call
the attention of the female prisoner Lavinia to the fact that as the
Emperor is a divine personage, her imputation of cruelty is not only
treason, but sacrilege. I point out to her further that there is no
foundation for the charge, as the Emperor does not desire that any
prisoner should suffer; nor can any Christian be harmed save through
his or her own obstinacy. All that is necessary is to sacrifice to
the gods: a simple and convenient ceremony effected by dropping a
pinch of incense on the altar, after which the prisoner is at once
set free. Under such circumstances you have only your own perverse
folly to blame if you suffer. I suggest to you that if you cannot
burn a morsel of incense as a matter of conviction, you might at least
do so as a matter of good taste, to avoid shocking the religious convictions
of your fellow citizens. I am aware that these considerations do not
weigh with Christians; but it is my duty to call your attention to
them in order that you may have no ground for complaining of your
treatment, or of accusing the Emperor of cruelty when he is showing
you the most signal clemency. Looked at from this point of view, every
Christian who has perished in the arena has really committed suicide.

LAVINIA. Captain: your jokes are too grim. Do not think it is easy
for us to die. Our faith makes life far stronger and more wonderful
in us than when we walked in darkness and had nothing to live for.
Death is harder for us than for you: the martyr's agony is as bitter
as his triumph is glorious.

THE CAPTAIN {[}\emph{rather troubled, addressing her personally and
gravely}{]} A martyr, Lavinia, is a fool. Your death will prove nothing.

LAVINIA. Then why kill me?

THE CAPTAIN. I mean that truth, if there be any truth, needs no martyrs.

LAVINIA. No; but my faith, like your sword, needs testing. Can you
test your sword except by staking your life on it?

THE CAPTAIN {[}\emph{suddenly resuming his official tone}{]} I call
the attention of the female prisoner to the fact that Christians are
not allowed to draw the Emperor's officers into arguments and put
questions to them for which the military regulations provide no answer.
{[}\emph{The Christians titter}{]}.

LAVINIA. Captain: how \emph{can} you?

THE CAPTAIN. I call the female prisoner's attention specially to the
fact that four comfortable homes have been offered her by officers
of this regiment, of which she can have her choice the moment she
chooses to sacrifice as all well-bred Roman ladies do. I have no more
to say to the prisoners.

CENTURION. Dismiss! But stay where you are.

THE CAPTAIN. Centurion: you will remain here with your men in charge
of the prisoners until the arrival of three Christian prisoners in
the custody of a cohort of the tenth legion. Among these prisoners
you will particularly identify an armorer named Ferrovius, of dangerous
character and great personal strength, and a Greek tailor reputed
to be a sorcerer, by name Androcles. You will add the three to your
charge here and march them all to the Coliseum, where you will deliver
them into the custody of the master of the gladiators and take his
receipt, countersigned by the keeper of the beasts and the acting
manager. You understand your instructions?

CENTURION. Yes, Sir.

THE CAPTAIN. Dismiss. {[}\emph{He throws off his air of parade, and
descends down from the perch. The Centurion seats on it and prepares
for a nap, whilst his men stand at ease. The Christians sit down on
the west side of the square, glad to rest. Lavinia alone remains standing
to speak to the Captain}{]}.

LAVINIA. Captain: is this man who is to join us the famous Ferrovius,
who has made such wonderful conversions in the northern cities?

THE CAPTAIN. Yes. We are warned that he has the strength of an elephant
and the temper of a mad bull. Also that he is stark mad. Not a model
Christian, it would seem.

LAVINIA. You need not fear him if he is a Christian, Captain.

THE CAPTAIN {[}\emph{coldly}{]} I shall not fear him in any case,
Lavinia.

LAVINIA {[}\emph{her eyes dancing}{]} How brave of you, Captain!

THE CAPTAIN. You are right: it was silly thing to say. {[}\emph{In
a lower tone, humane and urgent}{]} Lavinia: do Christians know how
to love?

LAVINIA {[}\emph{composedly}{]} Yes, Captain: they love even their
enemies.

THE CAPTAIN. Is that easy?

LAVINIA. Very easy, Captain, when their enemies are as handsome as
you.

THE CAPTAIN. Lavinia: you are laughing at me.

LAVINIA. At you, Captain! Impossible.

THE CAPTAIN. Then you are flirting with me, which is worse. Don't
be foolish.

LAVINIA. But such a very handsome captain.

THE CAPTAIN. Incorrigible! {[}\emph{Urgently}{]} Listen to me. The
men in that audience tomorrow will be the vilest of voluptuaries:
men in whom the only passion excited by a beautiful woman is a lust
to see her tortured and torn shrieking limb from limb. It is a crime
to dignify that passion. It is offering yourself for violation by
the whole rabble of the streets and the riff-raff of the court at
the same time. Why will you not choose rather a kindly love and an
honorable alliance?

LAVINIA. They cannot violate my soul. I alone can do that by sacrificing
to false gods.

THE CAPTAIN. Sacrifice then to the true God. What does his name matter?
We call him Jupiter. The Greeks call him Zeus. Call him what you will
as you drop the incense on the altar flame: He will understand.

LAVINIA. No. I couldn't. That is the strange thing, Captain, that
a little pinch of incense should make all that difference. Religion
is such a great thing that when I meet really religious people we
are friends at once, no matter what name we give to the divine will
that made us and moves us. Oh, do you think that I, a woman, would
quarrel with you for sacrificing to a woman god like Diana, if Diana
meant to you what Christ means to me? No: we should kneel side by
side before her altar like two children. But when men who believe
neither in my god nor in their own\mbox{---}men who do not know the
meaning of the word religion\mbox{---}when these men drag me to the
foot of an iron statue that has become the symbol of the terror and
darkness through which they walk, of their cruelty and greed, of their
hatred of God and their oppression of man\mbox{---} when they ask
me to pledge my soul before the people that this hideous idol is God,
and that all this wickedness and falsehood is divine truth, I cannot
do it, not if they could put a thousand cruel deaths on me. I tell
you, it is physically impossible. Listen, Captain: did you ever try
to catch a mouse in your hand? Once there was a dear little mouse
that used to come out and play on my table as I was reading. I wanted
to take him in my hand and caress him; and sometimes he got among
my books so that he could not escape me when I stretched out my hand.
And I did stretch out my hand; but it always came back in spite of
me. I was not afraid of him in my heart; but my hand refused: it is
not in the nature of my hand to touch a mouse. Well, Captain, if I
took a pinch of incense in my hand and stretched it out over the altar
fire, my hand would come back. My body would be true to my faith even
if you could corrupt my mind. And all the time I should believe more
in Diana than my persecutors have ever believed in anything. Can you
understand that?

THE CAPTAIN {[}\emph{simply}{]} Yes: I understand that. But my hand
would not come back. The hand that holds the sword has been trained
not to come back from anything but victory.

LAVINIA. Not even from death?

THE CAPTAIN. Least of all from death.

LAVINIA. Then I must not come back either. A woman has to be braver
than a soldier.

THE CAPTAIN. Prouder, you mean.

LAVINIA {[}\emph{startled}{]} Prouder! You call our courage pride!

THE CAPTAIN. There is no such thing as courage: there is only pride.
You Christians are the proudest devils on earth.

LAVINIA {[}\emph{hurt}{]} Pray God then my pride may never become
a false pride. {[}\emph{She turns away as if she did not wish to continue
the conversation, but softens and says to him with a smile}{]} Thank
you for trying to save me from death.

THE CAPTAIN. I knew it was no use; but one tries in spite of one's
knowledge.

LAVINIA. Something stirs, even in the iron breast of a Roman soldier!

THE CAPTAIN. It will soon be iron again. I have seen many women die,
and forgotten them in a week.

LAVINIA. Remember me for a fortnight, handsome Captain. I shall be
watching you, perhaps.

THE CAPTAIN. From the skies? Do not deceive yourself, Lavinia. There
is no future for you beyond the grave.

LAVINIA. What does that matter? Do you think I am only running away
from the terrors of life into the comfort of heaven? If there were
no future, or if the future were one of torment, I should have to
go just the same. The hand of God is upon me.

THE CAPTAIN. Yes: when all is said, we are both patricians, Lavinia,
and must die for our beliefs. Farewell. {[}\emph{He offers her his
hand. She takes it and presses it. He walks away, trim and calm. She
looks after him for a moment, and cries a little as he disappears
through the eastern arch. A trumpet-call is heard from the road through
the western arch}{]}.

CENTURION {[}\emph{waking up and rising}{]} Cohort of the tenth with
prisoners. Two file out with me to receive them. {[}\emph{He goes
out through the western arch, followed by four soldiers in two files}{]}.

\emph{Lentulus and Metellus come into the square from the west side
with a little retinue of servants. Both are young courtiers, dressed
in the extremity of fashion. Lentulus is slender, fair-haired, epicene.
Metellus is manly, compactly built, olive skinned, not a talker.}

LENTULUS. Christians, by Jove! Let's chaff them.

METELLUS. Awful brutes. If you knew as much about them as I do you
wouldn't want to chaff them. Leave them to the lions.

LENTULUS {[}\emph{indicating Lavinia, who is still looking towards
the arches after the captain}{]}. That woman's got a figure. {[}\emph{He
walks past her, staring at her invitingly, but she is preoccupied
and is not conscious of him}{]}. Do you turn the other cheek when
they kiss you?

LAVINIA {[}\emph{starting}{]} What?

LENTULUS. Do you turn the other cheek when they kiss you, fascinating
Christian?

LAVINIA. Don't be foolish. {[}\emph{To Metellus, who has remained
on her right, so that she is between them}{]} Please don't let your
friend behave like a cad before the soldiers. How are they to respect
and obey patricians if they see them behaving like street boys? {[}\emph{Sharply
to Lentulus}{]} Pull yourself together, man. Hold your head up. Keep
the corners of your mouth firm; and treat me respectfully. What do
you take me for?

LENTULUS {[}\emph{irresolutely}{]} Look here, you know: I\mbox{---}you\mbox{---}I\mbox{---}

LAVINIA. Stuff! Go about your business. {[}\emph{She turns decisively
away and sits down with her comrades, leaving him disconcerted}{]}.

METELLUS. You didn't get much out of that. I told you they were brutes.

LENTULUS. Plucky little filly! I suppose she thinks I care. {[}\emph{With
an air of indifference he strolls with Metellus to the east side of
the square, where they stand watching the return of the Centurion
through the western arch with his men, escorting three prisoners:
Ferrovius, Androcles, and Spintho. Ferrovius is a powerful, choleric
man in the prime of life, with large nostrils, staring eyes, and a
thick neck: a man whose sensibilities are keen and violent to the
verge of madness. Spintho is a debauchee, the wreck of a good-looking
man gone hopelessly to the bad. Androcles is overwhelmed with grief,
and is restraining his tears with great difficulty}{]}.

THE CENTURION {[}\emph{to Lavinia}{]} Here are some pals for you.
This little bit is Ferrovius that you talk so much about. {[}\emph{Ferrovius
turns on him threateningly. The Centurion holds up his left forefinger
in admonition}{]}. Now remember that you're a Christian, and that
you've got to return good for evil. {[}\emph{Ferrovius controls himself
convulsively; moves away from temptation to the east side near Lentulus;
clasps his hands in silent prayer; and throws himself on his knees}{]}.
That's the way to manage them, eh! This fine fellow {[}\emph{indicating
Androcles, who comes to his left, and makes Lavinia a heartbroken
salutation}{]} is a sorcerer. A Greek tailor, he is. A real sorcerer,
too: no mistake about it. The tenth marches with a leopard at the
head of the column. He made a pet of the leopard; and now he's crying
at being parted from it. {[}\emph{Androcles sniffs lamentably}{]}.
Ain't you, old chap? Well, cheer up, we march with a Billy goat {[}\emph{Androcles
brightens up}{]} that's killed two leopards and ate a turkey-cock.
You can have him for a pet if you like. {[}\emph{Androcles, quite
consoled, goes past the Centurion to Lavinia, and sits down contentedly
on the ground on her left}{]}. This dirty dog {[}\emph{collaring Spintho}{]}
is a real Christian. He mobs the temples, he does {[}\emph{at each
accusation he gives the neck of Spintho's tunic a twist}{]}; he goes
smashing things mad drunk, he does; he steals the gold vessels, he
does; he assaults the priestesses, he does\mbox{---}yah! {[}\emph{He
flings Spintho into the middle of the group of prisoners}{]}. You're
the sort that makes duty a pleasure, you are.

SPINTHO {[}\emph{gasping}{]} That's it: strangle me. Kick me. Beat
me. Revile me. Our Lord was beaten and reviled. That's my way to heaven.
Every martyr goes to heaven, no matter what he's done. That is so,
isn't it, brother?

CENTURION. Well, if you're going to heaven, \textit{I} don't want
to go there. I wouldn't be seen with you.

LENTULUS. Haw! Good! {[}\emph{Indicating the kneeling Ferrovius}{]}.
Is this one of the turn-the-other-cheek gentlemen, Centurion?

CENTURION. Yes, sir. Lucky for you too, sir, if you want to take any
liberties with him.

LENTULUS {[}\emph{to Ferrovius}{]} You turn the other cheek when you're
struck, I'm told.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{slowly turning his great eyes on him}{]} Yes, by
the grace of God, I do, \emph{now}.

LENTULUS. Not that you're a coward, of course; but out of pure piety.

FERROVIUS. I fear God more than man; at least I try to.

LENTULUS. Let's see. {[}\emph{He strikes him on the cheek. Androcles
makes a wild movement to rise and interfere; but Lavinia holds him
down, watching Ferrovius intently. Ferrovius, without flinching, turns
the other cheek. Lentulus, rather out of countenance, titters foolishly,
and strikes him again feebly}{]}. You know, I should feel ashamed
if I let myself be struck like that, and took it lying down. But then
I'm not a Christian: I'm a man. {[}\emph{Ferrovius rises impressively
and towers over him. Lentulus becomes white with terror; and a shade
of green flickers in his cheek for a moment}{]}.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{with the calm of a steam hammer}{]} I have not
always been faithful. The first man who struck me as you have just
struck me was a stronger man than you: he hit me harder than I expected.
I was tempted and fell; and it was then that I first tasted bitter
shame. I never had a happy moment after that until I had knelt and
asked his forgiveness by his bedside in the hospital. {[}\emph{Putting
his hands on Lentulus's shoulders with paternal weight}{]}. But now
I have learnt to resist with a strength that is not my own. I am not
ashamed now, nor angry.

LENTULUS {[}\emph{uneasily}{]} Er\mbox{---}good evening. {[}\emph{He
tries to move away}{]}.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{gripping his shoulders}{]} Oh, do not harden your
heart, young man. Come: try for yourself whether our way is not better
than yours. I will now strike you on one cheek; and you will turn
the other and learn how much better you will feel than if you gave
way to the promptings of anger. {[}\emph{He holds him with one hand
and clenches the other fist}{]}.

LENTULUS. Centurion: I call on you to protect me.

CENTURION. You asked for it, sir. It's no business of ours. You've
had two whacks at him. Better pay him a trifle and square it that
way.

LENTULUS. Yes, of course. {[}\emph{To Ferrovius}{]} It was only a
bit of fun, I assure you: I meant no harm. Here. {[}\emph{He proffers
a gold coin}{]}.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{taking it and throwing it to the old beggar, who
snatches it up eagerly, and hobbles off to spend it}{]} Give all thou
hast to the poor. Come, friend: courage! I may hurt your body for
a moment; but your soul will rejoice in the victory of the spirit
over the flesh. {[}\emph{He prepares to strike}{]}.

ANDROCLES. Easy, Ferrovius, easy: you broke the last man's jaw.

\emph{Lentulus, with a moan of terror, attempts to fly; but Ferrovius
holds him ruthlessly.}

FERROVIUS. Yes; but I saved his soul. What matters a broken jaw?

LENTULUS. Don't touch me, do you hear? The law\mbox{---}

FERROVIUS. The law will throw me to the lions tomorrow: what worse
could it do were I to slay you? Pray for strength; and it shall be
given to you.

LENTULUS. Let me go. Your religion forbids you to strike me.

FERROVIUS. On the contrary, it commands me to strike you. How can
you turn the other cheek, if you are not first struck on the one cheek?

LENTULUS {[}\emph{almost in tears}{]} But I'm convinced already that
what you said is quite right. I apologize for striking you.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{greatly pleased}{]} My son: have I softened your
heart? Has the good seed fallen in a fruitful place? Are your feet
turning towards a better path?

LENTULUS {[}\emph{abjectly}{]} Yes, yes. There's a great deal in what
you say.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{radiant}{]} Join us. Come to the lions. Come to
suffering and death.

LENTULUS {[}\emph{falling on his knees and bursting into tears}{]}
Oh, help me. Mother! mother!

FERROVIUS. These tears will water your soul and make it bring forth
good fruit, my son. God has greatly blessed my efforts at conversion.
Shall I tell you a miracle\mbox{---}yes, a miracle\mbox{---}wrought
by me in Cappadocia? A young man\mbox{---}just such a one as you,
with golden hair like yours\mbox{---}scoffed at and struck me as
you scoffed at and struck me. I sat up all night with that youth wrestling
for his soul; and in the morning not only was he a Christian, but
his hair was as white as snow. {[}\emph{Lentulus falls in a dead faint}{]}.
There, there: take him away. The spirit has overwrought him, poor
lad. Carry him gently to his house; and leave the rest to heaven.

CENTURION. Take him home. {[}\emph{The servants, intimidated, hastily
carry him out. Metellus is about to follow when Ferrovius lays his
hand on his shoulder}{]}.

FERROVIUS. You are his friend, young man. You will see that he is
taken safely home.

METELLUS {[}\emph{with awestruck civility}{]} Certainly, sir. I shall
do whatever you think best. Most happy to have made your acquaintance,
I'm sure. You may depend on me. Good evening, sir.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{with unction}{]} The blessing of heaven upon you
and him.

\emph{Metellus follows Lentulus. The Centurion returns to his seat
to resume his interrupted nap. The deepest awe has settled on the
spectators. Ferrovius, with a long sigh of happiness, goes to Lavinia,
and offers her his hand.}

LAVINIA {[}\emph{taking it}{]} So that is how you convert people,
Ferrovius.

FERROVIUS. Yes: there has been a blessing on my work in spite of my
unworthiness and my backslidings\mbox{---}all through my wicked,
devilish temper. This man\mbox{---}

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{hastily}{]} Don't slap me on the back, brother.
She knows you mean me.

FERROVIUS. How I wish I were weak like our brother here! for then
I should perhaps be meek and gentle like him. And yet there seems
to be a special providence that makes my trials less than his. I hear
tales of the crowd scoffing and casting stones and reviling the brethren;
but when I come, all this stops: my influence calms the passions of
the mob: they listen to me in silence; and infidels are often converted
by a straight heart-to-heart talk with me. Every day I feel happier,
more confident. Every day lightens the load of the great terror.

LAVINIA. The great terror? What is that?

\emph{Ferrovius shakes his head and does not answer. He sits down
beside her on her left, and buries his face in his hands in gloomy
meditation.}

ANDROCLES. Well, you see, sister, he's never quite sure of himself.
Suppose at the last moment in the arena, with the gladiators there
to fight him, one of them was to say anything to annoy him, he might
forget himself and lay that gladiator out.

LAVINIA. That would be splendid.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{springing up in horror}{]} What!

ANDROCLES. Oh, sister!

FERROVIUS. Splendid to betray my master, like Peter! Splendid to act
like any common blackguard in the day of my proving! Woman: you are
no Christian. {[}\emph{He moves away from her to the middle of the
square, as if her neighborhood contaminated him}{]}.

LAVINIA {[}\emph{laughing}{]} You know, Ferrovius, I am not always
a Christian. I don't think anybody is. There are moments when I forget
all about it, and something comes out quite naturally, as it did then.

SPINTHO. What does it matter? If you die in the arena, you'll be a
martyr; and all martyrs go to heaven, no matter what they have done.
That's so, isn't it, Ferrovius?

FERROVIUS. Yes: that is so, if we are faithful to the end.

LAVINIA. I'm not so sure.

SPINTHO. Don't say that. That's blasphemy. Don't say that, I tell
you. We shall be saved, no matter \emph{what} we do.

LAVINIA. Perhaps you men will all go into heaven bravely and in triumph,
with your heads erect and golden trumpets sounding for you. But I
am sure I shall only be allowed to squeeze myself in through a little
crack in the gate after a great deal of begging. I am not good always:
I have moments only.

SPINTHO. You're talking nonsense, woman. I tell you, martyrdom pays
all scores.

ANDROCLES. Well, let us hope so, brother, for your sake. You've had
a gay time, haven't you? with your raids on the temples. I can't help
thinking that heaven will be very dull for a man of your temperament.
{[}\emph{Spintho snarls}{]}. Don't be angry: I say it only to console
you in case you should die in your bed tonight in the natural way.
There's a lot of plague about.

SPINTHO {[}\emph{rising and running about in abject terror}{]} I never
thought of that. O Lord, spare me to be martyred. Oh, what a thought
to put into the mind of a brother! Oh, let me be martyred today, now.
I shall die in the night and go to hell. You're a sorcerer: you've
put death into my mind. Oh, curse you, curse you! {[}\emph{He tries
to seize Androcles by the throat}{]}.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{holding him in a grip of iron}{]} What's this,
brother? Anger! Violence! Raising your hand to a brother Christian!

SPINTHO. It's easy for you. You're strong. Your nerves are all right.
But I'm full of disease. {[}\emph{Ferrovius takes his hand from him
with instinctive disgust}{]}. I've drunk all my nerves away. I shall
have the horrors all night.

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{sympathetic}{]} Oh, don't take on so, brother.
We're all sinners.

SPINTHO {[}\emph{snivelling, trying to feel consoled}{]}. Yes: I daresay
if the truth were known, you're all as bad as I am.

LAVINIA {[}\emph{contemptuously}{]} Does \emph{that} comfort you?

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{sternly}{]} Pray, man, pray.

SPINTHO. What's the good of praying? If we're martyred we shall go
to heaven, shan't we, whether we pray or not?

FERROVIUS. What's that? Not pray! {[}\emph{Seizing him again}{]} Pray
this instant, you dog, you rotten hound, you slimy snake, you beastly
goat, or\mbox{---}

SPINTHO. Yes: beat me: kick me. I forgive you: mind that.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{spurning him with loathing}{]} Yah! {[}\emph{Spintho
reels away and falls in front of Ferrovius}{]}.

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{reaching out and catching the skirt of Ferrovius's
tunic}{]} Dear brother: if you wouldn't mind\mbox{---}just for my
sake\mbox{---}

FERROVIUS. Well?

ANDROCLES. Don't call him by the names of the animals. We've no right
to. I've had such friends in dogs. A pet snake is the best of company.
I was nursed on goat's milk. Is it fair to them to call the like of
him a dog or a snake or a goat?

FERROVIUS. I only meant that they have no souls.

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{anxiously protesting}{]} Oh, believe me, they have.
Just the same as you and me. I really don't think I could consent
to go to heaven if I thought there were to be no animals there. Think
of what they suffer here.

FERROVIUS. That's true. Yes: that is just. They will have their share
in heaven.

SPINTHO {[}\emph{who has picked himself up and is sneaking past Ferrovius
on his left, sneers derisively}{]}!!

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{turning on him fiercely}{]} What's that you say?

SPINTHO {[}\emph{cornering}{]}. Nothing.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{clenching his fist}{]} Do animals go to heaven
or not?

SPINTHO. I never said they didn't.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{implacable}{]} Do they or do they not?

SPINTHO. They do: they do. {[}\emph{Scrambling out of Ferrovius's
reach}{]}. Oh, curse you for frightening me!

\emph{A bugle call is heard.}

CENTURION {[}\emph{waking up}{]} Tention! Form as before. Now then,
prisoners, up with you and trot along spry. {[}\emph{The soldiers
fall in. The Christians rise}{]}.

\emph{A man with an ox goad comes running through the central arch.}

THE OX DRIVER. Here, you soldiers! clear out of the way for the Emperor.

THE CENTURION. Emperor! Where's the Emperor? You ain't the Emperor,
are you?

THE OX DRIVER. It's the menagerie service. My team of oxen is drawing
the new lion to the Coliseum. You clear the road.

CENTURION. What! Go in after you in your dust, with half the town
at the heels of you and your lion! Not likely. We go first.

THE OX DRIVER. The menagerie service is the Emperor's personal retinue.
You clear out, I tell you.

CENTURION. You tell me, do you? Well, I'll tell you something. If
the lion is menagerie service, the lion's dinner is menagerie service
too. This {[}\emph{pointing to the Christians}{]} is the lion's dinner.
So back with you to your bullocks double quick; and learn your place.
March. {[}\emph{The soldiers start}{]}. Now then, you Christians,
step out there.

LAVINIA {[}\emph{marching}{]} Come along, the rest of the dinner.
I shall be the olives and anchovies.

ANOTHER CHRISTIAN {[}\emph{laughing}{]} I shall be the soup.

ANOTHER. I shall be the fish.

ANOTHER. Ferrovius shall be the roast boar.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{heavily}{]} I see the joke. Yes, yes: I shall be
the roast boar. Ha! ha! {[}\emph{He laughs conscientiously and marches
out with them}{]}.

ANDROCLES. I shall be the mince pie. {[}\emph{Each announcement is
received with a louder laugh by all the rest as the joke catches on}{]}.

CENTURION {[}\emph{scandalised}{]} Silence! Have some sense of your
situation. Is this the way for martyrs to behave? {[}\emph{To Spintho,
who is quaking and loitering}{]} I know what \emph{you'll} be at that
dinner. You'll be the emetic. {[}\emph{He shoves him rudely along}{]}.

SPINTHO. It's too dreadful: I'm not fit to die.

CENTURION. Fitter than you are to live, you swine.

\emph{They pass from the square westward. The oxen, drawing a waggon
with a great wooden cage and the lion in it, arrive through the central
arch.}


\chapter*{\raggedright ACT II}

\addcontentsline{toc}{chapter}{ACT II}

\markboth{ANDROCLES AND THE LION}{ACT II}

\emph{Behind the Emperor's box at the Coliseum, where the performers
assemble before entering the arena. In the middle a wide passage leading
to the arena descends from the floor level under the imperial box.
On both sides of this passage steps ascend to a landing at the back
entrance to the box. The landing forms a bridge across the passage.
At the entrance to the passage are two bronze mirrors, one on each
side.}

\emph{On the west side of this passage, on the right hand of any one
coming from the box and standing on the bridge, the martyrs are sitting
on the steps. Lavinia is seated half-way up, thoughtful, trying to
look death in the face. On her left Androcles consoles himself by
nursing a cat. Ferrovius stands behind them, his eyes blazing, his
figure stiff with intense resolution. At the foot of the steps crouches
Spintho, with his head clutched in his hands, full of horror at the
approach of martyrdom.}

\emph{On the east side of the passage the gladiators are standing
and sitting at ease, waiting, like the Christians, for their turn
in the arena. One (Retiarius) is a nearly naked man with a net and
a trident. Another (Secutor) is in armor with a sword. He carries
a helmet with a barred visor. The editor of the gladiators sits on
a chair a little apart from them.}

\emph{The Call Boy enters from the passage.}

THE CALL BOY. Number six. Retiarius versus Secutor.

\emph{The gladiator with the net picks it up. The gladiator with the
helmet puts it on; and the two go into the arena, the net thrower
taking out a little brush and arranging his hair as he goes, the other
tightening his straps and shaking his shoulders loose. Both look at
themselves in the mirrors before they enter the passage.}

LAVINIA. Will they really kill one another?

SPINTHO. Yes, if the people turn down their thumbs.

THE EDITOR. You know nothing about it. The people indeed! Do you suppose
we would kill a man worth perhaps fifty talents to please the riffraff?
I should like to catch any of my men at it.

SPINTHO. I thought\mbox{---}

THE EDITOR {[}\emph{contemptuously}{]} You thought! Who cares what
you think? \emph{You'll} be killed all right enough.

SPINTHO {[}\emph{groans and again hides his face}{]}!!! Then is nobody
ever killed except us poor\mbox{---}

LAVINIA. Christians?

THE EDITOR. If the vestal virgins turn down their thumbs, that's another
matter. They're ladies of rank.

LAVINIA. Does the Emperor ever interfere?

THE EDITOR. Oh, yes: he turns his thumbs up fast enough if the vestal
virgins want to have one of his pet fighting men killed.

ANDROCLES. But don't they ever just only pretend to kill one another?
Why shouldn't you pretend to die, and get dragged out as if you were
dead; and then get up and go home, like an actor?

THE EDITOR. See here: you want to know too much. There will be no
pretending about the new lion: let that be enough for you. He's hungry.

SPINTHO {[}\emph{groaning with horror}{]} Oh, Lord! Can't you stop
talking about it? Isn't it bad enough for us without that?

ANDROCLES. I'm glad he's hungry. Not that I want him to suffer, poor
chap! but then he'll enjoy eating me so much more. There's a cheerful
side to everything.

THE EDITOR {[}\emph{rising and striding over to Androcles}{]} Here:
don't you be obstinate. Come with me and drop the pinch of incense
on the altar. That's all you need do to be let off.

ANDROCLES. No: thank you very much indeed; but I really mustn't.

THE EDITOR. What! Not to save your life?

ANDROCLES. I'd rather not. I couldn't sacrifice to Diana: she's a
huntress, you know, and kills things.

THE EDITOR. That don't matter. You can choose your own altar. Sacrifice
to Jupiter: he likes animals: he turns himself into an animal when
he goes off duty.

ANDROCLES. No: it's very kind of you; but I feel I can't save myself
that way.

THE EDITOR. But I don't ask you to do it to save yourself: I ask you
to do it to oblige me personally.

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{scrambling up in the greatest agitation}{]} Oh,
please don't say that. That is dreadful. You mean so kindly by me
that it seems quite horrible to disoblige you. If you could arrange
for me to sacrifice when there's nobody looking, I shouldn't mind.
But I must go into the arena with the rest. My honor, you know.

THE EDITOR. Honor! The honor of a tailor?

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{apologetically}{]} Well, perhaps honor is too strong
an expression. Still, you know, I couldn't allow the tailors to get
a bad name through me.

THE EDITOR. How much will you remember of all that when you smell
the beast's breath and see his jaws opening to tear out your throat?

SPINTHO {[}\emph{rising with a yell of terror}{]} I can't bear it.
Where's the altar? I'll sacrifice.

FERROVIUS. Dog of an apostate. Iscariot!

SPINTHO. I'll repent afterwards. I fully mean to die in the arena
I'll die a martyr and go to heaven; but not this time, not now, not
until my nerves are better. Besides, I'm too young: I want to have
just one more good time. {[}\emph{The gladiators laugh at him}{]}.
Oh, will no one tell me where the altar is? {[}\emph{He dashes into
the passage and vanishes}{]}.

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{to the Editor, pointing after Spintho}{]} Brother:
I can't do that, not even to oblige you. Don't ask me.

THE EDITOR. Well, if you're determined to die, I can't help you. But
I wouldn't be put off by a swine like that.

FERROVIUS. Peace, peace: tempt him not. Get thee behind him, Satan.

THE EDITOR {[}\emph{flushing with rage}{]} For two pins I'd take a
turn in the arena myself to-day, and pay you out for daring to talk
to me like that.

\emph{Ferrovius springs forward.}

LAVINIA {[}\emph{rising quickly and interposing}{]} Brother, brother:
you forget.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{curbing himself by a mighty effort}{]} Oh, my temper,
my wicked temper! {[}\emph{To the Editor, as Lavinia sits down again,
reassured}{]}. Forgive me, brother. My heart was full of wrath: I
should have been thinking of your dear precious soul.

THE EDITOR. Yah! {[}\emph{He turns his back on Ferrovius contemptuously,
and goes back to his seat}{]}.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{continuing}{]} And I forgot it all: I thought of
nothing but offering to fight you with one hand tied behind me.

THE EDITOR {[}\emph{turning pugnaciously}{]} What!

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{on the border line between zeal and ferocity}{]}
Oh, don't give way to pride and wrath, brother. I could do it so easily.
I could\mbox{---}

\emph{They are separated by the Menagerie Keeper, who rushes in from
the passage, furious.}

THE KEEPER. Here's a nice business! Who let that Christian out of
here down to the dens when we were changing the lion into the cage
next the arena?

THE EDITOR. Nobody let him. He let himself.

THE KEEPER. Well, the lion's ate him.

\emph{Consternation. The Christians rise, greatly agitated. The gladiators
sit callously, but are highly amused. All speak or cry out or laugh
at once. Tumult.}

LAVINIA. Oh, poor wretch! FERROVIUS. The apostate has perished. Praise
be to God's justice! ANDROCLES. The poor beast was starving. It couldn't
help itself. THE CHRISTIANS. What! Ate him! How frightful! How terrible!
Without a moment to repent! God be merciful to him, a sinner! Oh,
I can't bear to think of it! In the midst of his sin! Horrible, horrible!
THE EDITOR. Serve the rotter right! THE GLADIATORS. Just walked into
it, he did. He's martyred all right enough. Good old lion! Old Jock
doesn't like that: look at his face. Devil a better! The Emperor will
laugh when he hears of it. I can't help smiling. Ha ha ha!!!!!

THE KEEPER. Now his appetite's taken off, he won't as much as look
at another Christian for a week.

ANDROCLES. Couldn't you have saved him brother?

THE KEEPER. Saved him! Saved him from a lion that I'd just got mad
with hunger! a wild one that came out of the forest not four weeks
ago! He bolted him before you could say Balbus.

LAVINIA {[}\emph{sitting down again}{]} Poor Spintho! And it won't
even count as martyrdom!

THE KEEPER. Serve him right! What call had he to walk down the throat
of one of my lions before he was asked?

ANDROCLES. Perhaps the lion won't eat me now.

THE KEEPER. Yes: that's just like a Christian: think only of yourself!
What am I to do? What am I to say to the Emperor when he sees one
of my lions coming into the arena half asleep?

THE EDITOR. Say nothing. Give your old lion some bitters and a morsel
of fried fish to wake up his appetite. {[}\emph{Laughter}{]}.

THE KEEPER. Yes: it's easy for you to talk; but\mbox{---}

THE EDITOR {[}\emph{scrambling to his feet}{]} Sh! Attention there!
The Emperor. {[}\emph{The Keeper bolts precipitately into the passage.
The gladiators rise smartly and form into line}{]}.

\emph{The Emperor enters on the Christians' side, conversing with
Metellus, and followed by his suite.}

THE GLADIATORS. Hail, C\ae{}sar! those about to die salute thee.

C\AE{}SAR. Good morrow, friends.

\emph{Metellus shakes hands with the Editor, who accepts his condescension
with bluff respect.}

LAVINIA. Blessing, C\ae{}sar, and forgiveness!

C\AE{}SAR {[}\emph{turning in some surprise at the salutation}{]}
There is no forgiveness for Christianity.

LAVINIA. I did not mean that, C\ae{}sar. I mean that \emph{we} forgive
\emph{you}.

METELLUS. An inconceivable liberty! Do you not know, woman, that the
Emperor can do no wrong and therefore cannot be forgiven?

LAVINIA. I expect the Emperor knows better. Anyhow, we forgive him.

THE CHRISTIANS. Amen!

C\AE{}SAR. Metellus: you see now the disadvantage of too much severity.
These people have no hope; therefore they have nothing to restrain
them from saying what they like to me. They are almost as impertinent
as the gladiators. Which is the Greek sorcerer?

ANDROCLES {[}humbly touching his forelock{]} Me, your Worship.

C\AE{}SAR. My Worship! Good! A new title. Well, what miracles can
you perform?

ANDROCLES. I can cure warts by rubbing them with my tailor's chalk;
and I can live with my wife without beating her.

C\AE{}SAR. Is that all?

ANDROCLES. You don't know her, C\ae{}sar, or you wouldn't say that.

C\AE{}SAR. Ah, well, my friend, we shall no doubt contrive a happy
release for you. Which is Ferrovius?

FERROVIUS. I am he.

C\AE{}SAR. They tell me you can fight.

FERROVIUS. It is easy to fight. I can die, C\ae{}sar.

C\AE{}SAR. That is still easier, is it not?

FERROVIUS. Not to me, C\ae{}sar. Death comes hard to my flesh; and
fighting comes very easily to my spirit {[}\emph{beating his breast
and lamenting}{]} O sinner that I am! {[}\emph{He throws himself down
on the steps, deeply discouraged}{]}.

C\AE{}SAR. Metellus: I should like to have this man in the Pretorian
Guard.

METELLUS. I should not, C\ae{}sar. He looks a spoilsport. There are
men in whose presence it is impossible to have any fun: men who are
a sort of walking conscience. He would make us all uncomfortable.

C\AE{}SAR. For that reason, perhaps, it might be well to have him.
An Emperor can hardly have too many consciences. {[}\emph{To Ferrovius}{]}
Listen, Ferrovius. {[}\emph{Ferrovius shakes his head and will not
look up}{]}. You and your friends shall not be outnumbered to-day
in the arena. You shall have arms; and there will be no more than
one gladiator to each Christian. If you come out of the arena alive,
I will consider favorably any request of yours, and give you a place
in the Pretorian Guard. Even if the request be that no questions be
asked about your faith I shall perhaps not refuse it.

FERROVIUS. I will not fight. I will die. Better stand with the archangels
than with the Pretorian Guard.

C\AE{}SAR. I cannot believe that the archangels\mbox{---}whoever
they may be\mbox{---}would not prefer to be recruited from the Pretorian
Guard. However, as you please. Come: let us see the show.

\emph{As the Court ascends the steps, Secutor and the Retiarius return
from the arena through the passage; Secutor covered with dust and
very angry: Retiarius grinning.}

SECUTOR. Ha, the Emperor. Now we shall see. C\ae{}sar: I ask you
whether it is fair for the Retiarius, instead of making a fair throw
of his net at me, to swish it along the ground and throw the dust
in my eyes, and then catch me when I'm blinded. If the vestals had
not turned up their thumbs I should have been a dead man.

C\AE{}SAR {[}\emph{halting on the stair}{]} There is nothing in the
rules against it.

SECUTOR {[}\emph{indignantly}{]} C\ae{}sar: is it a dirty trick or
is it not?

C\AE{}SAR. It is a dusty one, my friend. {[}\emph{Obsequious laughter}{]}.
Be on your guard next time.

SECUTOR. Let \emph{him} be on his guard. Next time I'll throw my sword
at his heels and strangle him with his own net before he can hop off.
{[}\emph{To Retiarius}{]} You see if I don't. {[}\emph{He goes out
past the gladiators, sulky and furious}{]}.

C\AE{}SAR {[}\emph{to the chuckling Retiarius}{]}. These tricks are
not wise, my friend. The audience likes to see a dead man in all his
beauty and splendor. If you smudge his face and spoil his armor they
will show their displeasure by not letting you kill him. And when
your turn comes, they will remember it against you and turn their
thumbs down.

THE RETIARIUS. Perhaps that is why I did it, C\ae{}sar. He bet me
ten sesterces that he would vanquish me. If I had had to kill him
I should not have had the money.

C\AE{}SAR {[}\emph{indulgent, laughing}{]} You rogues: there is no
end to your tricks. I'll dismiss you all and have elephants to fight.
They fight fairly. {[}\emph{He goes up to his box, and knocks at it.
It is opened from within by the Captain, who stands as on parade to
let him pass}{]}. 

\emph{The Call Boy comes from the passage, followed by three attendants
carrying respectively a bundle of swords, some helmets, and some breastplates
and pieces of armor which they throw down in a heap.}

THE CALL BOY. By your leave, C\ae{}sar. Number eleven! Gladiators
and Christians!

\emph{Ferrovius springs up, ready for martyrdom. The other Christians
take the summons as best they can, some joyful and brave, some patient
and dignified, some tearful and helpless, some embracing one another
with emotion. The Call Boy goes back into the passage.}

C\AE{}SAR {[}\emph{turning at the door of the box}{]} The hour has
come, Ferrovius. I shall go into my box and see you killed, since
you scorn the Pretorian Guard. {[}\emph{He goes into the box. The
Captain shuts the door, remaining inside with the Emperor. Metellus
and the rest of the suite disperse to their seats. The Christians,
led by Ferrovius, move towards the passage}{]}.

LAVINIA {[}\emph{to Ferrovius}{]} Farewell.

THE EDITOR. Steady there. You Christians have got to fight. Here!
arm yourselves.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{picking up a sword}{]} I'll die sword in hand to
show people that I could fight if it were my Master's will, and that
I could kill the man who kills me if I chose.

THE EDITOR. Put on that armor.

FERROVIUS. No armor.

THE EDITOR {[}\emph{bullying him}{]} Do what you're told. Put on that
armor.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{gripping the sword and looking dangerous}{]} I
said, No armor.

THE EDITOR. And what am I to say when I am accused of sending a naked
man in to fight my men in armor?

FERROVIUS. Say your prayers, brother; and have no fear of the princes
of this world.

THE EDITOR. Tsha! You obstinate fool! {[}\emph{He bites his lips irresolutely,
not knowing exactly what to do}{]}.

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{to Ferrovius}{]} Farewell, brother, till we meet
in the sweet by-and-by.

THE EDITOR {[}\emph{to Androcles}{]} You are going too. Take a sword
there; and put on any armor you can find to fit you.

ANDROCLES. No, really: I can't fight: I never could. I can't bring
myself to dislike anyone enough. I'm to be thrown to the lions with
the lady.

THE EDITOR. Then get out of the way and hold your noise. {[}\emph{Androcles
steps aside with cheerful docility}{]}. Now then! Are you all ready
there? A trumpet is heard from the arena.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{starting convulsively}{]} Heaven give me strength!

THE EDITOR. Aha! That frightens you, does it?

FERROVIUS. Man: there is no terror like the terror of that sound to
me. When I hear a trumpet or a drum or the clash of steel or the hum
of the catapult as the great stone flies, fire runs through my veins:
I feel my blood surge up hot behind my eyes: I must charge: I must
strike: I must conquer: C\ae{}sar himself will not be safe in his
imperial seat if once that spirit gets loose in me. Oh, brothers,
pray! exhort me! remind me that if I raise my sword my honor falls
and my Master is crucified afresh.

ANDROCLES. Just keep thinking how cruelly you might hurt the poor
gladiators.

FERROVIUS. It does not hurt a man to kill him.

LAVINIA. Nothing but faith can save you.

FERROVIUS. Faith! Which faith? There are two faiths. There is our
faith. And there is the warrior's faith, the faith in fighting, the
faith that sees God in the sword. How if that faith should overwhelm
me?

LAVINIA. You will find your real faith in the hour of trial.

FERROVIUS. That is what I fear. I know that I am a fighter. How can
I feel sure that I am a Christian?

ANDROCLES. Throw away the sword, brother.

FERROVIUS. I cannot. It cleaves to my hand. I could as easily throw
a woman I loved from my arms. {[}\emph{Starting}{]} Who spoke that
blasphemy? Not I.

LAVINIA. I can't help you, friend. I can't tell you not to save your
own life. Something wilful in me wants to see you fight your way into
heaven.

FERROVIUS. Ha!

ANDROCLES. But if you are going to give up our faith, brother, why
not do it without hurting anybody? Don't fight them. Burn the incense.

FERROVIUS. Burn the incense! Never.

LAVINIA. That is only pride, Ferrovius.

FERROVIUS. \emph{Only} pride! What is nobler than pride? {[}\emph{Conscience
stricken}{]} Oh, I'm steeped in sin. I'm proud of my pride.

LAVINIA. They say we Christians are the proudest devils on earth\mbox{---}that
only the weak are meek. Oh, I am worse than you. I ought to send you
to death; and I am tempting you.

ANDROCLES. Brother, brother: let \emph{them} rage and kill: let \emph{us}
be brave and suffer. You must go as a lamb to the slaughter.

FERROVIUS. Aye, aye: that is right. Not as a lamb is slain by the
butcher; but as a butcher might let himself be slain by a {[}\emph{looking
at the Editor}{]} by a silly ram whose head he could fetch off in
one twist.

\emph{Before the Editor can retort, the Call Boy rushes up through
the passage; and the Captain comes from the Emperor's box and descends
the steps.}

THE CALL BOY. In with you: into the arena. The stage is waiting.

THE CAPTAIN. The Emperor is waiting. {[}\emph{To the Editor}{]} What
are you dreaming of, man? Send your men in at once.

THE EDITOR. Yes, Sir: it's these Christians hanging back.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{in a voice of thunder}{]} Liar!

THE EDITOR {[}\emph{not heeding him}{]} March. {[}\emph{The gladiators
told off to fight with the Christians march down the passage}{]} Follow
up there, you.

THE CHRISTIAN MEN AND WOMEN {[}\emph{as they part}{]} Be steadfast,
brother. Farewell. Hold up the faith, brother. Farewell. Go to glory,
dearest. Farewell. Remember: we are praying for you. Farewell. Be
strong, brother. Farewell. Don't forget that the divine love and our
love surround you. Farewell. Nothing can hurt you: remember that,
brother. Farewell. Eternal glory, dearest. Farewell.

THE EDITOR {[}\emph{out of patience}{]} Shove them in, there.

\emph{The remaining gladiators and the Call Boy make a movement towards
them.}

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{interposing}{]} Touch them, dogs; and we die here,
and cheat the heathen of their spectacle. {[}\emph{To his fellow Christians}{]}
Brothers: the great moment has come. That passage is your hill to
Calvary. Mount it bravely, but meekly; and remember! not a word of
reproach, not a blow nor a struggle. Go. {[}\emph{They go out through
the passage. He turns to Lavinia}{]} Farewell.

LAVINIA. You forget: I must follow before you are cold.

FERROVIUS. It is true. Do not envy me because I pass before you to
glory. {[}\emph{He goes through the passage}{]}.

THE EDITOR {[}\emph{to the Call Boy}{]} Sickening work, this. Why
can't they all be thrown to the lions? It's not a man's job. {[}\emph{He
throws himself moodily into his chair}{]}.

\emph{The remaining gladiators go back to their former places indifferently.
The Call Boy shrugs his shoulders and squats down at the entrance
to the passage, near the Editor.}

\emph{Lavinia and the Christian women sit down again, wrung with grief,
some weeping silently, some praying, some calm and steadfast. Androcles
sits down at Lavinia's feet. The Captain stands on the stairs, watching
her curiously.}

ANDROCLES. I'm glad I haven't to fight. That would really be an awful
martyrdom. I \emph{am} lucky.

LAVINIA {[}\emph{looking at him with a pang of remorse}{]}. Androcles:
burn the incense: you'll be forgiven. Let my death atone for both.
I feel as if I were killing you.

ANDROCLES. Don't think of me, sister. Think of yourself. That will
keep your heart up.

\emph{The Captain laughs sardonically.}

LAVINIA {[}\emph{startled: she had forgotten his presence}{]} Are
you there, handsome Captain? Have you come to see me die?

THE CAPTAIN {[}\emph{coming to her side}{]} I am on duty with the
Emperor, Lavinia.

LAVINIA. Is it part of your duty to laugh at us?

THE CAPTAIN. No: that is part of my private pleasure. Your friend
here is a humorist. I laughed at his telling you to think of yourself
to keep up your heart. I say, think of yourself and burn the incense.

LAVINIA. He is not a humorist: he was right. You ought to know that,
Captain: you have been face to face with death.

THE CAPTAIN. Not with certain death, Lavinia. Only death in battle,
which spares more men than death in bed. What you are facing is certain
death. You have nothing left now but your faith in this craze of yours:
this Christianity. Are your Christian fairy stories any truer than
our stories about Jupiter and Diana, in which, I may tell you, I believe
no more than the Emperor does, or any educated man in Rome?

LAVINIA. Captain: all that seems nothing to me now. I'll not say that
death is a terrible thing; but I will say that it is so real a thing
that when it comes close, all the imaginary things\mbox{---}all the
stories, as you call them\mbox{---}fade into mere dreams beside that
inexorable reality. I know now that I am not dying for stories or
dreams. Did you hear of the dreadful thing that happened here while
we were waiting?

THE CAPTAIN. I heard that one of your fellows bolted, and ran right
into the jaws of the lion. I laughed. I still laugh.

LAVINIA. Then you don't understand what that meant?

THE CAPTAIN. It meant that the lion had a cur for his breakfast.

LAVINIA. It meant more than that, Captain. It meant that a man cannot
die for a story and a dream. None of us believed the stories and the
dreams more devoutly than poor Spintho; but he could not face the
great reality. What he would have called my faith has been oozing
away minute by minute whilst I've been sitting here, with death coming
nearer and nearer, with reality becoming realler and realler, with
stories and dreams fading away into nothing.

THE CAPTAIN. Are you then going to die for nothing?

LAVINIA. Yes: that is the wonderful thing. It is since all the stories
and dreams have gone that I have now no doubt at all that I must die
for something greater than dreams or stories.

THE CAPTAIN. But for what?

LAVINIA. I don't know. If it were for anything small enough to know,
it would be too small to die for. I think I'm going to die for God.
Nothing else is real enough to die for.

THE CAPTAIN. What is God?

LAVINIA. When we know that, Captain, we shall be gods ourselves.

THE CAPTAIN. Lavinia; come down to earth. Burn the incense and marry
me.

LAVINIA. Handsome Captain: would you marry me if I hauled down the
flag in the day of battle and burnt the incense? Sons take after their
mothers, you know. Do you want your son to be a coward?

THE CAPTAIN {[}\emph{strongly moved}{]}. By great Diana, I think I
would strangle you if you gave in now.

LAVINIA {[}\emph{putting her hand on the head of Androcles}{]} The
hand of God is on us three, Captain.

THE CAPTAIN. What nonsense it all is! And what a monstrous thing that
you should die for such nonsense, and that I should look on helplessly
when my whole soul cries out against it! Die then if you must; but
at least I can cut the Emperor's throat and then my own when I see
your blood.

\emph{The Emperor throws open the door of his box angrily, and appears
in wrath on the threshold. The Editor, the Call Boy, and the gladiators
spring to their feet.}

THE EMPEROR. The Christians will not fight; and your curs cannot get
their blood up to attack them. It's all that fellow with the blazing
eyes. Send for the whip. {[}\emph{The Call Boy rushes out on the east
side for the whip}{]}. If that will not move them, bring the hot irons.
The man is like a mountain. {[}\emph{He returns angrily into the box
and slams the door}{]}.

\emph{The Call Boy returns with a man in a hideous Etruscan mask,
carrying a whip. They both rush down the passage into the arena.}

LAVINIA {[}\emph{rising}{]} Oh, that is unworthy. Can they not kill
him without dishonoring him?

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{scrambling to his feet and running into the middle
of the space between the staircases}{]} It's dreadful. Now I want
to fight. I can't bear the sight of a whip. The only time I ever hit
a man was when he lashed an old horse with a whip. It was terrible:
I danced on his face when he was on the ground. He mustn't strike
Ferrovius: I'll go into the arena and kill him first. {[}\emph{He
makes a wild dash into the passage. As he does so a great clamor is
heard from the arena, ending in wild applause. The gladiators listen
and look inquiringly at one another}{]}.

THE EDITOR. What's up now?

LAVINIA {[}\emph{to the Captain}{]} What has happened, do you think?

THE CAPTAIN. What \emph{can} happen? They are killing them, I suppose.

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{running in through the passage, screaming with
horror and hiding his eyes}{]}!!!

LAVINIA. Androcles, Androcles: what's the matter?

ANDROCLES. Oh, don't ask me, don't ask me. Something too dreadful.
Oh! {[}\emph{He crouches by her and hides his face in her robe, sobbing}{]}.

THE CALL BOY {[}\emph{rushing through from the passage as before}{]}
Ropes and hooks there! Ropes and hooks.

THE EDITOR. Well, need you excite yourself about it? {[}\emph{Another
burst of applause}{]}.

\emph{Two slaves in Etruscan masks, with ropes and drag hooks, hurry
in.}

ONE OF THE SLAVES. How many dead?

THE CALL BOY. Six. {[}\emph{The slave blows a whistle twice; and four
more masked slaves rush through into the arena with the same apparatus}{]}
And the basket. Bring the baskets. {[}\emph{The slave whistles three
times, and runs through the passage with his companion}{]}.

THE CAPTAIN. Who are the baskets for?

THE CALL BOY. For the whip. He's in pieces. They're all in pieces,
more or less. {[}\emph{Lavinia hides her face}{]}. {[}\emph{Two more
masked slaves come in with a basket and follow the others into the
arena, as the Call Boy turns to the gladiators and exclaims, exhausted}{]}
Boys, he's killed the lot.

THE EMPEROR {[}\emph{again bursting from his box, this time in an
ecstasy of delight}{]} Where is he? Magnificent! He shall have a laurel
crown.

\emph{Ferrovius, madly waving his bloodstained sword, rushes through
the passage in despair, followed by his co-religionists, and by the
menagerie keeper, who goes to the gladiators. The gladiators draw
their swords nervously.}

FERROVIUS. Lost! lost forever! I have betrayed my Master. Cut off
this right hand: it has offended. Ye have swords, my brethren: strike.

LAVINIA. No, no. What have you done, Ferrovius?

FERROVIUS. I know not; but there was blood behind my eyes; and there's
blood on my sword. What does that mean?

THE EMPEROR {[}\emph{enthusiastically, on the landing outside his
box}{]} What does it mean? It means that you are the greatest man
in Rome. It means that you shall have a laurel crown of gold. Superb
fighter, I could almost yield you my throne. It is a record for my
reign: I shall live in history. Once, in Domitian's time, a Gaul slew
three men in the arena and gained his freedom. But when before has
one naked man slain six armed men of the bravest and best? The persecution
shall cease: if Christians can fight like this, I shall have none
but Christians to fight for me. {[}\emph{To the Gladiators}{]} You
are ordered to become Christians, you there: do you hear?

RETIARIUS. It is all one to us, C\ae{}sar. Had I been there with
my net, the story would have been different.

THE CAPTAIN {[}\emph{suddenly seizing Lavinia by the wrist and dragging
her up the steps to the Emperor}{]} C\ae{}sar this woman is the sister
of Ferrovius. If she is thrown to the lions he will fret. He will
lose weight; get out of condition.

THE EMPEROR. The lions? Nonsense! {[}\emph{To Lavinia}{]} Madam: I
am proud to have the honor of making your acquaintance. Your brother
is the glory of Rome.

LAVINIA. But my friends here. Must they die?

THE EMPEROR. Die! Certainly not. There has never been the slightest
idea of harming them. Ladies and gentlemen: you are all free. Pray
go into the front of the house and enjoy the spectacle to which your
brother has so splendidly contributed. Captain: oblige me by conducting
them to the seats reserved for my personal friends.

THE MENAGERIE KEEPER. C\ae{}sar: I must have one Christian for the
lion. The people have been promised it; and they will tear the decorations
to bits if they are disappointed.

THE EMPEROR. True, true: we must have somebody for the new lion.

FERROVIUS. Throw me to him. Let the apostate perish.

THE EMPEROR. No, no: you would tear him in pieces, my friend; and
we cannot afford to throw away lions as if they were mere slaves.
But we must have somebody. This is really extremely awkward.

THE MENAGERIE KEEPER. Why not that little Greek chap? He's not a Christian:
he's a sorcerer.

THE EMPEROR. The very thing: he will do very well.

THE CALL BOY {[}\emph{issuing from the passage}{]} Number twelve.
The Christian for the new lion.

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{rising, and pulling himself sadly together}{]}
Well, it was to be, after all.

LAVINIA. I'll go in his place, C\ae{}sar. Ask the Captain whether
they do not like best to see a woman torn to pieces. He told me so
yesterday.

THE EMPEROR. There is something in that: there is certainly something
in that\mbox{---}if only I could feel sure that your brother would
not fret.

ANDROCLES. No: I should never have another happy hour. No: on the
faith of a Christian and the honor of a tailor, I accept the lot that
has fallen on me. If my wife turns up, give her my love and say that
my wish was that she should be happy with her next, poor fellow! C\ae{}sar:
go to your box and see how a tailor can die. Make way for number twelve
there. {[}\emph{He marches out along the passage}{]}.

\emph{The vast audience in the amphitheatre now sees the Emperor re-enter
his box and take his place as Androcles, desperately frightened, but
still marching with piteous devotion, emerges from the other end of
the passage, and finds himself at the focus of thousands of eager
eyes. The lion's cage, with a heavy portcullis grating, is on his
left. The Emperor gives a signal. A gong sounds. Androcles shivers
at the sound; then falls on his knees and prays.}

\emph{The grating rises with a clash. The lion bounds into the arena.
He rushes round frisking in his freedom. He sees Androcles. He stops;
rises stiffly by straightening his legs; stretches out his nose forward
and his tail in a horizontal line behind, like a pointer, and utters
an appalling roar. Androcles crouches and hides his face in his hands.
The lion gathers himself for a spring, swishing his tail to and fro
through the dust in an ecstasy of anticipation. Androcles throws up
his hands in supplication to heaven. The lion checks at the sight
of Androcles's face. He then steals towards him; smells him; arches
his back; purrs like a motor car; finally rubs himself against Androcles,
knocking him over. Androcles, supporting himself on his wrist, looks
affrightedly at the lion. The lion limps on three paws, holding up
the other as if it was wounded. A flash of recognition lights up the
face of Androcles. He flaps his hand as if it had a thorn in it, and
pretends to pull the thorn out and to hurt himself. The lion nods
repeatedly. Androcles holds out his hands to the lion, who gives him
both paws, which he shakes with enthusiasm. They embrace rapturously,
finally waltz round the arena amid a sudden burst of deafening applause,
and out through the passage, the Emperor watching them in breathless
astonishment until they disappear, when he rushes from his box and
descends the steps in frantic excitement.}

THE EMPEROR. My friends, an incredible! an amazing thing! has happened.
I can no longer doubt the truth of Christianity. {[}\emph{The Christians
press to him joyfully}{]} This Christian sorcerer\mbox{---}{[}\emph{with
a yell, he breaks off as he sees Androcles and the lion emerge from
the passage, waltzing. He bolts wildly up the steps into his box,
and slams the door. All, Christians and gladiators' alike, fly for
their lives, the gladiators bolting into the arena, the others in
all directions. The place is emptied with magical suddenness}{]}.

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{naively}{]} Now I wonder why they all run away
from us like that. {[}\emph{The lion combining a series of yawns,
purrs, and roars, achieves something very like a laugh}{]}.

THE EMPEROR {[}\emph{standing on a chair inside his box and looking
over the wall}{]} Sorcerer: I command you to put that lion to death
instantly. It is guilty of high treason. Your conduct is most disgra\mbox{---}
{[}\emph{the lion charges at him up the stairs}{]} help! {[}\emph{He
disappears. The lion rears against the box; looks over the partition
at him, and roars. The Emperor darts out through the door and down
to Androcles, pursued by the lion.}{]}

ANDROCLES. Don't run away, sir: he can't help springing if you run.
{[}\emph{He seizes the Emperor and gets between him and the lion,
who stops at once}{]}. Don't be afraid of him.

THE EMPEROR. I am \emph{not} afraid of him. {[}\emph{The lion crouches,
growling. The Emperor clutches Androcles}{]} Keep between us.

ANDROCLES. Never be afraid of animals, your Worship: that's the great
secret. He'll be as gentle as a lamb when he knows that you are his
friend. Stand quite still; and smile; and let him smell you all over
just to reassure him; for, you see, he's afraid of you; and he must
examine you thoroughly before he gives you his confidence. {[}\emph{To
the lion}{]} Come now, Tommy; and speak nicely to the Emperor, the
great, good Emperor who has power to have all our heads cut off if
we don't behave very, \emph{very} respectfully to him.

\emph{The lion utters a fearful roar. The Emperor dashes madly up
the steps, across the landing, and down again on the other side, with
the lion in hot pursuit. Androcles rushes after the lion; overtakes
him as he is descending; and throws himself on his back, trying to
use his toes as a brake. Before he can stop him the lion gets hold
of the trailing end of the Emperor's robe.}

ANDROCLES. Oh bad wicked Tommy, to chase the Emperor like that! Let
go the Emperor's robe at once, sir: where's your manners? {[}\emph{The
lion growls and worries the robe}{]}. Don't pull it away from him,
your worship. He's only playing. Now I shall be really angry with
you, Tommy, if you don't let go. {[}\emph{The lion growls again}{]}
I'll tell you what it is, sir: he thinks you and I are not friends.

THE EMPEROR {[}\emph{trying to undo the clasp of his brooch}{]} Friends!
You infernal scoundrel {[}\emph{the lion growls}{]} don't let him
go. Curse this brooch! I can't get it loose.

ANDROCLES. We mustn't let him lash himself into a rage. You must show
him that you are my particular friend\mbox{---}if you will have the
condescension. {[}\emph{He seizes the Emperor's hands, and shakes
them cordially}{]} Look, Tommy: the nice Emperor is the dearest friend
Andy Wandy has in the whole world: he loves him like a brother.

THE EMPEROR. You little brute, you damned filthy little dog of a Greek
tailor: I'll have you burnt alive for daring to touch the divine person
of the Emperor. {[}\emph{The lion roars}{]}.

ANDROCLES. Oh don't talk like that, sir. He understands every word
you say: all animals do: they take it from the tone of your voice.
{[}\emph{The lion growls and lashes his tail}{]}. I think he's going
to spring at your worship. If you wouldn't mind saying something affectionate.
{[}\emph{The lion roars}{]}.

THE EMPEROR {[}\emph{shaking Androcles' hands frantically}{]} My dearest
Mr. Androcles, my sweetest friend, my long lost brother, come to my
arms. {[}\emph{He embraces Androcles}{]}. Oh, what an abominable smell
of garlic!

\emph{The lion lets go the robe and rolls over on his back, clasping
his forepaws over one another coquettishly above his nose.}

ANDROCLES. There! You see, your worship, a child might play with him
now. See! {[}\emph{He tickles the lion's belly. The lion wriggles
ecstatically}{]}. Come and pet him.

THE EMPEROR. I must conquer these unkingly terrors. Mind you don't
go away from him, though. {[}\emph{He pats the lion's chest}{]}.

ANDROCLES. Oh, sir, how few men would have the courage to do that\mbox{---}

THE EMPEROR. Yes: it takes a bit of nerve. Let us invite the Court
in and frighten them. Is he safe, do you think?

ANDROCLES. Quite safe now, sir.

THE EMPEROR {[}\emph{majestically}{]} What ho, there! All who are
within hearing, return without fear. C\ae{}sar has tamed the lion.
{[}\emph{All the fugitives steal cautiously in. The menagerie keeper
comes from the passage with other keepers armed with iron bars and
tridents}{]}. Take those things away. I have subdued the beast. {[}\emph{He
places his foot on it}{]}.

FERROVIUS {[}\emph{timidly approaching the Emperor and looking down
with awe on the lion}{]} It is strange that I, who fear no man, should
fear a lion.

THE CAPTAIN. Every man fears something, Ferrovius.

THE EMPEROR. How about the Pretorian Guard now?

FERROVIUS. In my youth I worshipped Mars, the God of War. I turned
from him to serve the Christian god; but today the Christian god forsook
me; and Mars overcame me and took back his own. The Christian god
is not yet. He will come when Mars and I are dust; but meanwhile I
must serve the gods that are, not the God that will be. Until then
I accept service in the Guard, C\ae{}sar.

THE EMPEROR. Very wisely said. All really sensible men agree that
the prudent course is to be neither bigoted in our attachment to the
old nor rash and unpractical in keeping an open mind for the new,
but to make the best of both dispensations.

THE CAPTAIN. What do you say, Lavinia? Will you too be prudent?

LAVINIA {[}\emph{on the stair}{]} No: I'll strive for the coming of
the God who is not yet.

THE CAPTAIN. May I come and argue with you occasionally?

LAVINIA. Yes, handsome Captain: you may. {[}\emph{He kisses her hands}{]}.

THE EMPEROR. And now, my friends, though I do not, as you see, fear
this lion, yet the strain of his presence is considerable; for none
of us can feel quite sure what he will do next.

THE MENAGERIE KEEPER. C\ae{}sar: give us this Greek sorcerer to be
a slave in the menagerie. He has a way with the beasts.

ANDROCLES {[}\emph{distressed}{]}. Not if they are in cages. They
should not be kept in cages. They must all be let out.

THE EMPEROR. I give this sorcerer to be a slave to the first man who
lays hands on him. {[}\emph{The menagerie keepers and the gladiators
rush for Androcles. The lion starts up and faces them. They surge
back}{]}. You see how magnanimous we Romans are, Androcles. We suffer
you to go in peace.

ANDROCLES. I thank your worship. I thank you all, ladies and gentlemen.
Come, Tommy. Whilst we stand together, no cage for you: no slavery
for me. {[}\emph{He goes out with the lion, everybody crowding away
to give him as wide a berth as possible}{]}.

\bigskip{}
In this play I have represented one of the Roman persecutions of the
early Christians, not as the conflict of a false theology with a true,
but as what all such persecutions essentially are: an attempt to suppress
a propaganda that seemed to threaten the interests involved in the
established law and order, organized and maintained in the name of
religion and justice by politicians who are pure opportunist Have-and-Holders.
People who are shown by their inner light the possibility of a better
world based on the demand of the spirit for a nobler and more abundant
life, not for themselves at the expense of others, but for everybody,
are naturally dreaded and therefore hated by the Have-and-Holders,
who keep always in reserve two sure weapons against them. The first
is a persecution effected by the provocation, organization, and arming
of that herd instinct which makes men abhor all departures from custom,
and, by the most cruel punishments and the wildest calumnies, force
eccentric people to behave and profess exactly as other people do.
The second is by leading the herd to war, which immediately and infallibly
makes them forget everything, even their most cherished and hardwon
public liberties and private interests, in the irresistible surge
of their pugnacity and the tense pre-occupation of their terror.

There is no reason to believe that there was anything more in the
Roman persecutions than this. The attitude of the Roman Emperor and
the officers of his staff towards the opinions at issue were much
the same as those of a modern British Home Secretary towards members
of the lower middle classes when some pious policeman charges them
with Bad Taste, technically called blasphemy: Bad Taste being a violation
of Good Taste, which in such matters practically means Hypocrisy.
The Home Secretary and the judges who try the case are usually far
more sceptical and blasphemous than the poor men whom they persecute;
and their professions of horror at the blunt utterance of their own
opinions are revolting to those behind the scenes who have any genuine
religious sensibility; but the thing is done because the governing
classes, provided only the law against blasphemy is not applied to
themselves, strongly approve of such persecution because it enables
them to represent their own privileges as part of the religion of
the country.

Therefore my martyrs are the martyrs of all time, and my persecutors
the persecutors of all time. My Emperor, who has no sense of the value
of common people's lives, and amuses himself with killing as carelessly
as with sparing, is the sort of monster you can make of any silly-clever
gentleman by idolizing him. We are still so easily imposed on by such
idols that one of the leading pastors of the Free Churches in London
denounced my play on the ground that my persecuting Emperor is a very
fine fellow, and the persecuted Christians ridiculous. From which
I conclude that a popular pulpit may be as perilous to a man's soul
as an imperial throne.

All my articulate Christians, the reader will notice, have different
enthusiasms, which they accept as the same religion only because it
involves them in a common opposition to the official religion and
consequently in a common doom. Androcles is a humanitarian naturalist,
whose views surprise everybody. Lavinia, a clever and fearless freethinker,
shocks the Pauline Ferrovius, who is comparatively stupid and conscience
ridden. Spintho, the blackguardly debauchee, is presented as one of
the typical Christians of that period on the authority of St. Augustine,
who seems to have come to the conclusion at one period of his development
that most Christians were what we call wrong uns. No doubt he was
to some extent right: I have had occasion often to point out that
revolutionary movements attract those who are not good enough for
established institutions as well as those who are too good for them.

But the most striking aspect of the play at this moment is the terrible
topicality given it by the war. We were at peace when I pointed out,
by the mouth of Ferrovius, the path of an honest man who finds out,
when the trumpet sounds, that he cannot follow Jesus. Many years earlier,
in \emph{The Devil's Disciple}, I touched the same theme even more
definitely, and showed the minister throwing off his black coat for
ever when he discovered, amid the thunder of the captains and the
shouting, that he was a born fighter. Great numbers of our clergy
have found themselves of late in the position of Ferrovius and Anthony
Anderson. They have discovered that they hate not only their enemies
but everyone who does not share their hatred, and that they want to
fight and to force other people to fight. They have turned their churches
into recruiting stations and their vestries into munition workshops.
But it has never occurred to them to take off their black coats and
say quite simply, {}``I find in the hour of trial that the Sermon
on the Mount is tosh, and that I am not a Christian. I apologize for
all the unpatriotic nonsense I have been preaching all these years.
Have the goodness to give me a revolver and a commission in a regiment
which has for its chaplain a priest of the god Mars: my God.'' Not
a bit of it. They have stuck to their livings and served Mars in the
name of Christ, to the scandal of all religious mankind. When the
Archbishop of York behaved like a gentleman and the Head Master of
Eton preached a Christian sermon, and were reviled by the rabble,
the Martian parsons encouraged the rabble. For this they made no apologies
or excuses, good or bad. They simple indulged their passions, just
as they had always indulged their class prejudices and commercial
interests, without troubling themselves for a moment as to whether
they were Christians or not. They did not protest even when a body
calling itself the Anti-German League (not having noticed, apparently,
that it had been anticipated by the British Empire, the French Republic,
and the Kingdoms of Italy, Japan, and Serbia) actually succeeded in
closing a church at Forest Hill in which God was worshipped in the
German language. One would have supposed that this grotesque outrage
on the commonest decencies of religion would have provoked a remonstrance
from even the worldliest bench of bishops. But no: apparently it seemed
to the bishops as natural that the House of God should be looted when
He allowed German to be spoken in it as that a baker's shop with a
German name over the door should be pillaged. Their verdict was, in
effect, {}``Serve God right, for creating the Germans!'' The incident
would have been impossible in a country where the Church was as powerful
as the Church of England, had it had at the same time a spark of catholic
as distinguished from tribal religion in it. As it is, the thing occurred;
and as far as I have observed, the only people who gasped were the
Freethinkers. Thus we see that even among men who make a profession
of religion the great majority are as Martian as the majority of their
congregations. The average clergyman is an official who makes his
living by christening babies, marrying adults, conducting a ritual,
and making the best he can (when he has any conscience about it) of
a certain routine of school superintendence, district visiting, and
organization of almsgiving, which does not necessarily touch Christianity
at any point except the point of the tongue. The exceptional or religious
clergyman may be an ardent Pauline salvationist, in which case his
more cultivated parishioners dislike him, and say that he ought to
have joined the Methodists. Or he may be an artist expressing religious
emotion without intellectual definition by means of poetry, music,
vestments and architecture, also producing religious ecstacy by physical
expedients, such as fasts and vigils, in which case he is denounced
as a Ritualist. Or he may be either a Unitarian Deist like Voltaire
or Tom Paine, or the more modern sort of Anglican Theosophist to whom
the Holy Ghost is the \'{E}lan Vital of Bergson, and the Father and
Son are an expression of the fact that our functions and aspects are
manifold, and that we are all sons and all either potential or actual
parents, in which case he is strongly suspected by the straiter Salvationists
of being little better than an Atheist. All these varieties, you see,
excite remark. They may be very popular with their congregations;
but they are regarded by the average man as the freaks of the Church.
The Church, like the society of which it is an organ, is balanced
and steadied by the great central Philistine mass above whom theology
looms as a highly spoken of and doubtless most important thing, like
Greek Tragedy, or classical music, or the higher mathematics, but
who are very glad when church is over and they can go home to lunch
or dinner, having in fact, for all practical purposes, no reasoned
convictions at all, and being equally ready to persecute a poor Freethinker
for saying that St.\ James was not infallible, and to send one of
the Peculiar People to prison for being so very peculiar as to take
St.\ James seriously.

In short, a Christian martyr was thrown to the lions not because he
was a Christian, but because he was a crank: that is, an unusual sort
of person. And multitudes of people, quite as civilized and amiable
as we, crowded to see the lions eat him just as they now crowd the
lion-house in the Zoo at feeding-time, not because they really cared
two-pence about Diana or Christ, or could have given you any intelligent
or correct account of the things Diana and Christ stood against one
another for, but simply because they wanted to see a curious and exciting
spectacle. You, dear reader, have probably run to see a fire; and
if somebody came in now and told you that a lion was chasing a man
down the street you would rush to the window. And if anyone were to
say that you were as cruel as the people who let the lion loose on
the man, you would be justly indignant. Now that we may no longer
see a man hanged, we assemble outside the jail to see the black flag
run up. That is our duller method of enjoying ourselves in the old
Roman spirit. And if the Government decided to throw persons of unpopular
or eccentric views to the lions in the Albert Hall or the Earl's Court
stadium tomorrow, can you doubt that all the seats would be crammed,
mostly by people who could not give you the most superficial account
of the views in question. Much less unlikely things have happened.
It is true that if such a revival does take place soon, the martyrs
will not be members of heretical religious sects: they will be Peculiars,
Anti-Vivisectionists, Flat-Earth men, scoffers at the laboratories,
or infidels who refuse to kneel down when a procession of doctors
goes by. But the lions will hurt them just as much, and the spectators
will enjoy themselves just as much, as the Roman lions and spectators
used to do.

It was currently reported in the Berlin newspapers that when \emph{Androcles}
was first performed in Berlin, the Crown Prince rose and left the
house, unable to endure the (I hope) very clear and fair exposition
of autocratic Imperialism given by the Roman captain to his Christian
prisoners. No English Imperialist was intelligent and earnest enough
to do the same in London. If the report is correct, I confirm the
logic of the Crown Prince, and am glad to find myself so well understood.
But I can assure him that the Empire which served for my model when
I wrote \emph{Androcles} was, as he is now finding to his cost, much
nearer my home than the German one.
\end{document}
